November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Little Bite-Sized Lies

, | Winnipeg, MB, Canada | Uncategorized

(It’s 11:30 pm and the fast food restaurant I work at has already closed at 11:00 pm. I am standing at the counter finishing the cashout when a customer walks in.)

Customer: “Hi, give me a teen burger combo.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we’re closed now. The restaurant was only open until eleven.”

Customer: *ignores me* “I’d like onion rings instead of fries.”

Me: “Ma’am, I can’t make you any food right now. Everything is off and we are closed.”

Customer: “What? That’s f***ing ridiculous! My daughter is in the hospital and I need to get something to eat!”

Me: “I’m sorry about that, ma’am, but I can’t re-open the store for you.”

Customer: “That’s bulls**t! What the f*** am I supposed to do now?!”

Me: “Well, I believe there’s a another fast food restaurant just down the street that’s open 24 hours–”

Customer: “No! No! Don’t f***ing tell me to go there! My nephew is in the hospital and I am not going to bring him food from another f***ing restaurant!”

Me: “Ma’am, I thought it was your daughter in the hospital.”

(The customer freezes for a moment before realizing her mistake.)

Customer: “F*** you!” *leaves*

May Cause Belief In Humanity To Melt Away, Part 2

, | Dallas, TX, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(A lady orders an ice cream cone from our drive-thru window. After getting her ice cream, she comes back about 5 minutes later. Keep in mind it’s a sweltering hot day.)

Me: “Hi, was there something else I can help you with?”

Customer: *angrily* “I think there’s something wrong with your ice cream machine!”

Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t believe there is. What’s wrong?”

Customer: “My ice cream has melted!”

Me: “Could it be because it’s 105 degrees outside?”

Customer: *leaves in a huff*

May Cause Belief In Humanity To Melt Away

A Shake As Thick As Your Skull

, | Melbourne, Australia | Food & Drink

Customer: “I’d like to order two large chocolate thickshakes, but I don’t want them to be too thick.”

Me: “Well, would you like milkshakes then?”

Customer: “No, I want thickshakes. Just don’t make them too thick.”

Me: “Well, milkshakes are less thick versions of–”

Customer: *explodes* “NO! I WANT THICKSHAKES!”

For Some, Childhood Never Ends

, | Glen Burnie, MD, USA | Food & Drink

(While waiting for my order inside a fast food restaurant, I overhear this conversation between the employee working the drive-thru window and the customer at the speaker.)

Employee: “Welcome to [restaurant]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “I need a hamburger kids’ meal. Also, could you put cheese on that?”

Employee: “Okay, so you want a cheeseburger kids’ meal?”

Customer: “No, just a hamburger with cheese on it.”

Employee: “Ma’am, if you put cheese on a hamburger, it becomes a cheeseburger. So, do you want a hamburger or a cheeseburger?”

Customer: “Well, then, I guess I want a cheeseburger.”

Employee: “Okay, and is this kids’ meal for a boy or a girl?”

Customer: “Does it matter?”

Employee: “Not to me, ma’am.”

(The customer leaves the drive-thru as I leave the restaurant parking lot and she ends up behind me at a red light, happily eating her happy meal while driving.)

Too Many Nuggets Rots Your Brain

, | PA, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “Do you still have the fifty piece nuggets?”

Me: “No, I’m sorry. It was a limited time product, but we still have the twenty piece.”

Customer: “Okay, I need a minute to figure out what I want.”

Me: “No problem. Just let me know when you’re ready.”

*long silence*

Customer: “Okay, that’ll be all.”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “Oh, I think I forgot to order!”