A High Credit Limit

, | Hamilton, ON, Canada |

(A customer comes up to the register at about 11 pm, looking a little out of it.)

Customer: “Hi, how much is a double cheeseburger?”

Me: “With tax, it comes to $1.46.”

Customer: “Oh…okay…” (Searches through his pockets and comes up with 63 cents.) “Can I pay with this much cash and the rest on debit?”

Me: “Sure, that’s no problem. I’ll have to do the debit portion first.”

Customer: “Normally, I’d pay with the whole thing on debit, but I just bought a bunch of pot and I don’t know what’s left in my account.”

Me: “How did you manage to buy pot with your debit card?”

Customer: “Oh man! My dealer is so great! He just got one of those portable debit machines! He comes right to my house!”

Me: “Well, if you could just swipe your card…”

Customer: “Oh no! I didn’t protect my pin. What if you saw it?”

Me: “Oh, don’t worry sir, I was over there I wasn’t even watching, and anyways I have a terrible memory.”

Customer: “Ok, well it’s 6969. That’s my favorite number!”

(After leaving with his food I had to chase after him, as he had left his debit card in the machine.)

Would You Like To Super-Size That Band-Aid?

, | Cincinnati, OH, USA |

(I’m working register when a lady comes up leading her sobbing son. He has a big lump on his forehead that’s starting to turn black and blue.)

Customer: “Could I have some ice for his head? He hit it on something.”

Me: “Yes! Poor little guy.”

(I fill a glove with ice, wrap it in a paper rag and hand it over.)

Me: “First Aid is just down there.”

Customer: “Okay, thanks. Hey, while we’re here, could I get a grilled chicken salad?”

When You’re Always Right, The Earth Revolves Around You

, | Kennesaw, GA, USA |

(While working at the drive-thru window early one morning, a woman starts talking to me as I am waiting on her food.)

Customer: “Can you name 7 planets?”

Me: “Uh…I can name 9, if you want to include Pluto…” *names the planets*

Customer: “What about the sun?”

Me: “The sun is a star.”

Customer: “Oh. What about the moon?”

Me: “The moon is our natural satellite…”

Customer: “Huh. But it doesn’t move.”

Me: “The moon revolves around the Earth.”

Customer: “But the moon doesn’t move. I can see it right now.”

Me: *hands her her food* “OK ma’am…have a nice day.”

Haute Cuisine In A Value Meal

| Manitoba, Canada |

Me: *in the drive-thru* “Hello, welcome to ****. What can I get for you today?”

Customer: “Yes, hi, I was just wondering, what are your apple slices?”

Me: “I’m sorry sir, I don’t understand the question. Are you asking for the price?”

Customer: “No, I want to know what they are. On the menu it says ‘apple slices’. What are they?”

Me: “They’re…slices of apple, sir.”

Customer: “That’s it?”

Me: “Yes sir.”

Customer: “Oh. I thought maybe they were something fancier than that. Never mind.”

Right Next Door But Worlds Away

| Idaho, USA |

(I had just finished taking an order for a customer. My parents are from Germany, so I have a slight accent.)

Me: “That will be $10.87, ma’am. Anything else for you?”

Customer: “You have a a very neat accent, miss. Where are you from?”

Me: “I was born in Colorado, ma’am.”

Customer: “Wow, really? What language do they speak there?”

Me: “…”

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