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  • Customer Service Is Over(reaction)
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    I Like My Chihuahuas Extra Hot

    , | Calgary, Alberta, Canada |

    (A well-known taco-based fast food joint sold toy chihuahuas that talked when you squeezed them.)

    Me: “Hi, welcome to Taco ***. My name is ***, may I take your order?”

    Lady: “What flavour do your chihuahuas come in?”

    Me: “…they’re toys, ma’am.”

    (And if that wasn’t enough, a few hours later another customer asked how much the talking chimichangas were.)

    The Estrogen Empire Strikes Back

    , | Calgary, Alberta, Canada | Bigotry, Top

    (A customer had a complaint about his food. He refused to let the girl working the register help him.)

    Man: “I want to talk to a manager.”

    Female employee: “Yes, sir.”

    (The employee gets a Shift Manager to help her.)

    Shift Manager: “Can I help you, sir?”

    Man: “No, I want a manager!”

    Shift Manager: “I am a Shift Manager, sir.”

    Man: “I want to see the Store Manager!”

    Shift Manager: “Uhm, okay sir, I’ll be right back.”

    (I was in the office working on the crew schedules for the next week. Sara comes in and asks me to deal with the customer. She didn’t need to explain. I’d heard it all… he was very loud. I went to help deal with the situation.)

    Me: “Can I help you, sir?”

    Man: “I want to see a f**king God-da** Manager! Where’s the @#$%ing Store Manager?”

    Me: “I am the store Manager, Sir.”

    Man: “I want to speak to a male manager!”

    Me: “Sir, all of my Shift Managers are female. As, clearly, am I.”

    (Actually, every person working that day was female.)

    Man: “I demand to speak to your @#%^ @#$%$ #@$% boss!”

    Me: “I can get you a number so you can call my District Manager, sir. Will that be okay?”

    Man: “Finally! DO IT NOW!”

    Me: “Yes, sir. Just a second.”

    (I go into my office and grab one of the District Manager’s cards.)

    Me: “Here you are, sir. If you give HER a call, I’m sure SHE will be happy to help you.”

    (I thought he was going to have a heart attack after that. Purple was definitely not his color.)

    Meatheaded

    , | Regina, Saskatchewan, Canada |

    Me: “Hi, welcome to [local and independent burger joint]. What can I get for you today?”

    Customer: “Hi…what’s on your combination burger?”

    Me: “A beef patty, sauce, onions, pickles, cheese and a chopped bacon patty.”

    Customer: “… And what’s on your mushroom burger?”

    Me: “A beef patty, mushrooms and mushroom sauce.”

    Customer: “…so what’s the difference?”

    Fun With Language Barriers

    , | Seattle, WA, USA | Top

    (I worked at this little burger joint in Seattle. I’m white, but I’m bilingual. Our grill workers all spoke primarily Spanish, so I would talk to customers in English and call back orders in Spanish.)

    Old Man Customer: “Now, what is a pretty young thing like you doing speaking the Dirty Man’s Language?”

    Me: “Excuse me, sir?”

    Old Man Customer: “You should be speaking English! Its only natural, here in America!”

    Me: “It’s just fastest, sir. The language communicates more efficiently in an environment like this.”

    (I was not about to tell him that the grill workers were mostly South American immigrants, after hearing his first reaction.)

    Old Man Customer: “Have some pride in your country! SPEAK ENGLISH when you call back my order, do you understand?”

    Me, knowing full well that his order wouldn’t actually come through if I did that: “I’m sorry, sir. I’m afraid it’s procedure.”

    Old Man Customer: “I want to speak with your manager! This restaurant is just UNAMERICAN!”

    Manager, who had been working the register next to me: “Si, señor?”

    Old Man Customer: *storms out*

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    Behind Every Man Is An Embarassed Wife

    , | USA |

    (The place I work at, our dining room closes at 10pm but the drive-through stays open all night. I had just locked both the dining room doors when a man comes up and starts banging on the 1st door. We start talking through the door.)

    Me: “Sorry, we’re closed.”

    Customer: “You screwed up my order!”

    Me: “I’m sorry. You could go through our drive-through and they’d be happy to help you.”

    Customer: “I just came through! They’re the ones that messed it up.”

    Me: “I’m really sorry about that, if you go through again they’ll fix it for you.”

    Customer: “I don’t have my car!”

    Me: “But you said you just went through?”

    Customer: “Yeah, but I don’t have my car anymore.”

    Me: “I can give you our store number. If you call, we’ll replace your order tomorrow.”

    Customer: “Just open the door!”

    Me: “I can’t sir, we’re closed.”

    (The man then walks around the store to the 2nd door and starts banging there.)

    Me: “Sir, the only way we can fix this is if you go through the drive-through or give us a call.”

    Customer: “I don’t have a phone!”

    Me: “You can save your receipt and show it to us tomorrow. We’ll replace the whole order.”

    Customer: “This is bullshit!”

    (He then enters the drive-through on foot, weaving through cars in line, gets between the drive-through window and a car waiting to order and starts banging on the glass.)

    Manager: “I’m sorry sir, I can’t open the window unless you’re in a car.”

    Customer: “I don’t have my car anymore and you messed up my order. Tell your employees to open the door.”

    Manager: “I’m sorry, we can’t unlock the doors once we’re closed. That’s our policy. If you return in the morning, we’ll be glad to help.”

    Customer: “Don’t f*ck with me. I’ll call the cops on you! You can’t refuse service to me!”

    (Just then, a car pulls up behind him. The woman driving rolls down her window.)

    Woman: “Get in the f*cking car! Its not that big a deal.”

    Customer: “They won’t fix our order!”

    Woman: “Get in the f*cking car! This is f*cking embarrassing!”

    (The man gets in and the car pulls up to the window.)

    Woman: “I’m sorry. All that happened was you forgot to give us a burrito.”

    Manager: “We’ll get that for you right away.”

    (As soon as window is closed, the woman starts yelling at the man again.)

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