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  • Got Him Out Of A Pickle
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    He Does Have A Good Point

    , | Munising, MI, USA |

    (A man walks through the service door into the kitchen of the restaurant. I work the drive-thru, right next to the service door.)

    Me: “Can I help you?”

    Man: “Hi, I’d like to order some food.”

    Me: “Um, I think you went in the wrong door, sir.”

    Man: “No, I didn’t. That door says ‘service’ on it.”

    Me: “Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to go up front to the dining room.”

    Man: “Can’t you just take my order here?”

    Me: “Um, I suppose…”

    (I take his order, make his drink, and the cooks make his food. I hand it to him.)

    Man: “Thanks! I’ll be sure to come back!”

    Me: “Can you use the main door next time?”

    Man: “Why? I got such good service through the service door!”

    (As soon as he leaves, the cooks and I burst out laughing.)

    Mmmmm, Powder

    , | Portland, OR, USA |

    Customer: “Do your smoothies have egg whites in them?”

    Me: “Yes, the thickening powder contains dry egg whites.”

    Customer: “Can you make it without the powder then?”

    Me: “Not really, because then your drink would just be orange juice and ice.”

    Customer: “Oh, can I have the powder on the side, then?”

    Time To Slap “Low Cal” On The Lard Cakes

    , | Norway |

    Customer: “Do you have anything without calories?”

    Me: “Not except water, no. But I can make the baked potato with chili beans with no butter, making it more low-fat than anything else you’ll be likely to find around here. ”

    Customer: *rolls eyes* “Well, if that’s the best you can do…”

    Totally Loopy, Thru-And-Thru

    , | Texas, USA |

    (My store has a drive-thru menu board before the actual board where customers order. It only has pictures on it, no electronics of any sort.)

    Me: “How can I help you?”

    Customer: “I already gave my order to the first guy and he told me to pull up to the second board.”

    Me: “That’s not possible, ma’am. There’s no one who could take your order at that first board. Can I take your order?”

    Customer: “I already told you I gave my order to the first guy. He knows it. Ask him.”

    Me: “Could you repeat it for me?”

    Customer: “NO! I’m driving up now.”

    (The customer drives up and I finally get her to repeat her order, which turns out to be a lot of food. I ask her to pull to the front door, which is literally twenty feet from the drive-thru window. Instead, she drives out of the drive-thru lane, drives around the entire store, and comes back in the drive-thru lane. She pulls up and looks at me again.)

    Customer: “I told the guy at the first board that I was parked and he told me to pull right up. I hope you are nice because the last girl was really rude to me.”

    Me: “…”

    Everything But

    , | Chicago, IL, USA |

    Man: “I want to get a drink.”

    Me: “Sure. We have Coke, Diet Coke, Sprite, lemonade, root beer, iced tea, shakes, or smoothies.”

    Man: “I’ll have an orange soda.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, we only have Coke, Diet Coke, Sprite, lemonade, root beer, iced tea, shakes, or smoothies.”

    Man: “I’ll take fruit punch.”

    Me: “No, we only have Coke, Diet Coke, Sprite, lemonade, root beer, iced tea, shakes, or smoothies.”

    Man: “Pink lemonade?”

    Me: “It’s regular yellow. Is that okay?”

    Man: “No, I’ll have the raspberry tea.”

    Me: “It’s unsweetened.”

    Man: “What kind of place is this?! Is there ANYTHING to drink here?”

    Me: “YES! Coke, Diet Coke, Sprite, lemonade, root beer, iced tea, shakes, or smoothies.”

    Man: “I’ll just have a cup of ice.”

    Me: “…”

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