The Best Looks Come With No Brains

| Pueblo, CO, USA | Uncategorized

(I call waiting customers numbers when their food is ready. I notice a customer picks up the wrong item.)

Me: “Ma’am, you accidentally picked up the wrong meal. This one is yours.”

Customer 1: “Oh, I know. This one looked better.”

(The customer walks off with wrong meal.)

Customer 2: “Excuse me, did she just take my food?”

Me: “Well, actually yes. I’m really sorry about that, I tried to tell her and she wouldn’t listen.”

Customer 2: “Well, I don’t blame her. My food looked way better.”

Can’t Vouch(er) For His Intelligence

| Miami, FL, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “How may I help you?”

Customer: “Cheeseburger and a small coke.”

Me: “Alright, your total is $2.99.”

Customer: “What?”

Me: “Your total is $2.99, sir.”

Customer: “No, it’s not. It’s free!”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “I won some of your scratch off things and got a free cheeseburger and small coke!”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, you should have said that sooner. Well, give me the coupons then.”

Customer: “I had to bring them?”

Not A Nice Touch

| Australia | Uncategorized

Me: “Hi! What can I get for you?”

(Customer places his order, pays, and takes his food without saying a word.)

Me: “Here you are. Have a nice day.”

Customer: “What if I don’t want to have a nice day, huh?”

Me: “Um…don’t?”

Customer: “Don’t be so rude!” *storms out angrily*

Coworker: “What just happened?”

Freedom Fries Aren’t Free

| Canada | Uncategorized

(A customer man tries to pay with with American money.)

Customer: “What do you mean you don’t take American currency? That’s ridiculous!”

Me: “Sorry, sir, but it’s a private business, not corporate, and the owner doesn’t accept foreign currency.”

Customer: “Foreign currency? Bah! We should have conquered you people a hundred years ago!”

Me: “Actually, sir, America invaded Canada a few times. However, they were defeated each time.”

Customer: “Yes, well that wouldn’t be the case today! Now give me some good old American fast food! You can’t take that away from me!”

Me: “Would you like French Fries with that?”

Driving The Point Home

| Illinois, USA | Top

(Note: our Drive-thru has a strict “No Cell Phone” policy. A customer pulls up to our drive-thru while talking on her cellphone.)

Me: “How may I help you?”

Customer: *continues talking on cellphone*

Me: “May I help you?”

Customer: *continues talking on cellphone*

Me: “Please end your phone call now, or I will have to ask you to leave our drive-thru.”

(The customer finally hangs up about 15 seconds later.)

Customer: “Hello? Hello? Is anyone there? Will someone take my order?!”

Me: “May I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, what took you so long? No one ever even said anything to me.” *places order*

Me: “Your total is $xx.xx, first window.”

Customer: *pulls up to the window*

Me: “Ma’am, you do know our restaurant has a strict “No Cell Phone” policy in drive thru.”

Customer: “Well, I wasn’t on my cell phone.”

Me: “You spent 5 minutes ignoring me asking for your order, and I could hear you talking on your cell phone.”

Customer: “Well, I most certainly wasn’t!”

Me: “Ma’am, we have that no cell phone policy. Please don’t use it again in drive-thru, because we might have to ask you to leave the drive-thru if it happens again.”

Customer: “Why?”

Me: “Because you took 5 minutes to even start placing your order. That’s 5 minutes we can’t take any other orders.”

Customer: “This is bulls***! I don’t even have a cellphone!”

(Suddenly, the customer’s cell phone rings. She picks it up.)

Customer: “Hello? Oh my gosh, no he didn’t!”

(It took me another 3 minutes to get her money.)

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