October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

Having Funion With Food

, | York County, ME, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Health & Body

Me: “Any veggies on your sandwich?”

Customer: *mumbles*

(I think I hear “onions” and reach for them.)

Customer: “No, no, no, no, no, no, NO! No onions, no onions, no, no, NO!”

Me: “I’m sorry, no onions then. What did you say?”

Customer: *repeats veggie order*

(I get to ringing her up and she begins to apologize.)

Customer: “I’m sorry if I startled you.”

Me: “Oh, it’s okay.”

Customer: “It’s just…I don’t like onions.”

Me: “It’s really okay.”

Customer: “No, you don’t understand. You would have had to remake my sandwich. I hate onions! They make me want to vomit! Vomit everywhere!”

The Short, Rainbow-Colored Bridge From Injured Pride To Pride Parades

, | Minnesota, USA | Uncategorized

(A customer and his son approach the counter. Note that the son is no more than 11 or 12 years-old.)

Customer: “Hey, my son has something to ask you.”

Me: “Yes?”

Customer’s son: “Will you wanna go out with me?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “Come on, it’s his first time asking a girl out! If you turn him down, he might get discouraged and go gay. You don’t want to turn him gay, do you?!”

Little Bite-Sized Lies

, | Winnipeg, MB, Canada | Uncategorized

(It’s 11:30 pm and the fast food restaurant I work at has already closed at 11:00 pm. I am standing at the counter finishing the cashout when a customer walks in.)

Customer: “Hi, give me a teen burger combo.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we’re closed now. The restaurant was only open until eleven.”

Customer: *ignores me* “I’d like onion rings instead of fries.”

Me: “Ma’am, I can’t make you any food right now. Everything is off and we are closed.”

Customer: “What? That’s f***ing ridiculous! My daughter is in the hospital and I need to get something to eat!”

Me: “I’m sorry about that, ma’am, but I can’t re-open the store for you.”

Customer: “That’s bulls**t! What the f*** am I supposed to do now?!”

Me: “Well, I believe there’s a another fast food restaurant just down the street that’s open 24 hours–”

Customer: “No! No! Don’t f***ing tell me to go there! My nephew is in the hospital and I am not going to bring him food from another f***ing restaurant!”

Me: “Ma’am, I thought it was your daughter in the hospital.”

(The customer freezes for a moment before realizing her mistake.)

Customer: “F*** you!” *leaves*

May Cause Belief In Humanity To Melt Away, Part 2

, | Dallas, TX, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(A lady orders an ice cream cone from our drive-thru window. After getting her ice cream, she comes back about 5 minutes later. Keep in mind it’s a sweltering hot day.)

Me: “Hi, was there something else I can help you with?”

Customer: *angrily* “I think there’s something wrong with your ice cream machine!”

Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t believe there is. What’s wrong?”

Customer: “My ice cream has melted!”

Me: “Could it be because it’s 105 degrees outside?”

Customer: *leaves in a huff*

May Cause Belief In Humanity To Melt Away

A Shake As Thick As Your Skull

, | Melbourne, Australia | Food & Drink

Customer: “I’d like to order two large chocolate thickshakes, but I don’t want them to be too thick.”

Me: “Well, would you like milkshakes then?”

Customer: “No, I want thickshakes. Just don’t make them too thick.”

Me: “Well, milkshakes are less thick versions of–”

Customer: *explodes* “NO! I WANT THICKSHAKES!”

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