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    Donating On Biblical Proportions

    , | USA | Bizarre, Religion

    (A customer comes in on a Sunday afternoon. He orders a coffee but doesn’t leave after he gets it.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, was there anything else I could help you with?”

    Customer: “Oh, no, not at the moment, dear. I just wanted to give you this. You’re new here and I like to make sure all the new people are taken care of.”

    (As he is speaking he pulls a miniature bible out of his pocket and slides it across the counter to me. I’m almost too startled to speak.)

    Me: “…um, thank you?”

    (I wait until he leaves and approach my manager.)

    Me: “So, some guy just gave me a bible, but I don’t know what to do with it.”

    Manager: “Yeah, he does that. We’ve asked him to stop but he won’t. If you don’t want to keep it there’s a box of them under the desk in the office. Just throw it there.”

    Me: “There’s a whole box of these things?!”

    Manager: “Yeah, we drop them off at the Goodwill center when it gets full.”

    (Apparently this was just a normal thing that happened because when I moved to another restaurant down the road they also had a box of mini bibles that customers had given to employees.)

    Two Can Whine For Ten Dollars

    , | Peterborough, ON, Canada | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Money, Theme Of The Month

    (I’m taking orders for front counter. A customer walks up and hands me one of our “2 can dine for $9.99″ coupons.)

    Customer: “I’ll have this, please.”

    Me: “No problem. Would you like to add anything else?”

    Customer: “No, thank you. Just the two meals.”

    Me: “All right, your total is $11.70.”

    Customer: “How much is it after the coupon?”

    Me: “That is the price with the coupon. You wanted to use the two can dine, right?”

    Customer: “Yes, but why is it that price? The coupon says $10 on it.”

    Me: “Oh, the $10 is the price before tax, so that makes the difference.”

    Customer: “No, you’re supposed to take $10 off, that’s what the coupon means.”

    Me: “Sorry, it doesn’t actually work like that. It means that you pay $10 for the two meals. They would normally be over $15 for both without the coupon.”

    Customer: “But it says $10 here. So I only owe you the tax.”

    Me: “Again, I’m sorry but the coupon isn’t for $10 off. You are still saving a good amount off the regular combo prices.”

    Customer: “Fine. I don’t want it then. The idiots at [our other location] wouldn’t do it right either.”

    (He stormed off muttering about how we were too dumb to honour our own coupon.)

    Driving Through Adequate Fraud Prevention

    , | Edmonton, AB, Canada | At The Checkout, Criminal/Illegal, Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers

    (A customer walks up to the till. I’m watching the conversation from the kitchen nearby.)

    Customer: *to the cashier* “Could I speak to your manager, please?”

    Manager: *hearing her* “What can I do for you?”

    Customer: “I just came through the drive-thru a few minutes ago, and you forgot my two angus burgers.”

    Manager: “I very much doubt that.”

    (The manager points out the window, where the entire drive-thru and much of the parking lot have been torn up and blocked off for reconstruction. The sound of power tools can be heard even inside the restaurant.)

    Customer: “Um…” *stammers a bit before scurrying out of the store*

    A Paltry Understanding Of Poultry

    | Alabaster, AL, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Language & Words

    Customer: “Egg and cheese. That’s poultry, right?”

    Me: “What?”

    Customer: “Poultry. Poultry means vegetarian, right?”

    Me: “Um, sometimes vegetarians eat poultry and animal products. It just depends on the person.”

    Customer: “Oh, okay. People are just changing all of this political correctness and I don’t know what things mean anymore. You’ll ask stupid questions when you’re my age and people change what words mean.”

    Fresh Coffee With An Extra Shot Of Crazy

    , | CT, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Food & Drink, Health & Body

    Me: “Hi, I’m [Name]. I’d be happy to take your order!”

    Customer: *on a cell phone* “…I know! I can’t believe it! I told him I just want that d*** whore out of my house!” *continues conversation*

    Me: “Ma’am? May I help you?”

    Customer: “Is your coffee fresh?”

    Me: “Not at the moment, but I’d be happy to start you a fresh pot!”

    Customer: “WHAT? I’m on OXYGEN! I don’t want to DIE!”

    Me: *confused* “Ma’am? It wouldn’t affect—”

    (The customer drives around to the window.)

    Me: “So you did want the coffee, then?”

    Customer: “Sorry about that! You didn’t hear any of that conversation did you?”

    Me: “Well, yes, ma’am. Every employee with a headset can hear everything said at the speaker.”

    Customer: *pays for her coffee* “OH! I’m so sorry, honey; I just want that d*** whore out of my house!”

    (The customer got her coffee and drove away. The rest of us were left scratching our heads as witnesses to the level of crazy that just left.)

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