November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Fry Your Brains

, | MI, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(It’s a semi-busy night. I and one other manager are up front helping to get orders out when this woman grabs my attention from across the counter.)

Customer: “Excuse me, could you make sure my fries are extra crispy?”

Me: “Sure, ma’am.”

Customer: “Good. Thanks. I can’t have all that extra fat in me.”

Me: *stunned speechless for a few seconds* “I’m sorry, what?”

Customer: “I need them extra well done so there isn’t as much fat on my fries.”

(I blink a few more times before smiling, nodding, and turning around to relay this information to the manager.)

Manager: *in response to the customers request* “Wait, what?”

Me: “You heard me.”

Manager: “Did you explain how deep frying works?”

Me: “You know, it wasn’t worth the argument.”

Really Needs Their Breakfast

| Mesa, AZ, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink

Coworker: “Hello, welcome to [Fast Food Place]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “I would like two breakfast burritos.”

Coworker: “Did you want sausage or bacon?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Coworker: “Sausage or bacon?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Coworker: “Did you want your breakfast burritos with bacon or sausage?”

Customer: “Sausage.”

Coworker: “Anything else I can get for you today?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Coworker: “Okay and what else can I get for you?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Coworker: “Okay… that will be [total] for the breakfast burritos.”

A Sudden Change In Attitude

, | USA | Uncategorized

(I’m taking money in the drive-thru.)

Me: “Hello, sir, your total was $10.03.”

Customer: *shoves a stack of bills in my hands* “That’s 11.”

Me: “All right.” *I proceed to count the bills*

Customer: “What are you doing? You don’t need to count them! I told you there were 11, so just type in 11 and give me my change!”

Me: “Sir, I have to check to see how much money you handed me. Even if you tell me I still have to count it.”

Customer: That’s bulls***! How can you be so distrusting? I’m not trying to scam you. If I say I gave you 11, then I gave you 11 dollars! God, you’re so rude. I can’t believe this.”

Me: “I’m sorry sir. Here’s $1.97 for your change.”

Customer: “Wait, what?”

Me: “You gave me 12. Not 11. That’s why I count everyone’s money. More often than not, people give me too much money by accident.”

Customer: “Oh… yeah. Thanks, I guess.”

(That wasn’t the first time I’ve had this conversation, and I’m sure it won’t be the last.)

A Beguiling Bagel

, | Raleigh, NC, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I work as a sandwich maker at a fast food bagel shop. We make our sandwiches in front of the customer so they can request changes as we build the sandwich. Our featured breakfast sandwich of the month is the sriracha bagel; it is basically a sausage, egg, and cheese bagel but with peppers and sriracha sauce. It’s a slow day, and a young man approaches the counter.)

Customer: “Hi, I’d like a sriracha bagel.”

Me: ” All right, what kind of bagel would you like that on? It usually comes on a plain bagel.”

Customer: “Oh, I don’t know. A plain bagel, I guess. Oh, and can I get that with bacon instead of sausage?”

Me: “Sure, no problem.”

(I grab the bagel, slice it open and begin to assemble the sandwich. I go to get the peppers.)

Customer: “Excuse me, what are those?”

Me: “Those are the peppers that go on the sandwich.”

Customer: “Oh, I don’t like peppers. Can you leave those off?”

Me: “Sure, no problem.”

(I leave the peppers off, and place the bacon, egg, and cheese onto the bagel. I’m about to put the sriracha sauce on the bagel.)

Customer: “Excuse me, what is that?”

Me: “This is the sriracha sauce. It’s what gives the sandwich its name.”

Customer: “Oh, I don’t like spicy things. Can you leave that off?”

Me: “Okay, sure. So, just to make sure: all you want is a bacon, egg, and cheese bagel?”

Customer: “Yea. Hey, why don’t you guys just have that on your menu?”

(I had to struggle not to say anything as the bacon, egg, and cheese sandwich is the first thing listed under “Breakfast Sandwiches” on the menu. The worst part is when he got to the register he insisted on being charged for the sriracha instead of a bacon egg and cheese, and so he paid about a dollar more for his sandwich.)

Complaining About A Lack Of Complaint

, | OH, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

Coworker: “Uh-oh, she’s here.”

(One of our regulars has pulled into the drive-thru. This woman is from the rich part of town, and is notoriously difficult.)

Me: “I’m on it.”

(I begin preparing her regular: a small mocha, with four large creams, more hot chocolate than coffee, no whipped cream, and splenda on the side. She also orders a wheat bagel, triple toasted, with double butter. Yes, the whole order is disgusting. The customer places her order and pulls around.)

Coworker: *opening window* “That’ll be $4.55.”

Customer: “Fine. I hope you did it right this time. Last time it was completely disgusting. I don’t know who you have in there, but they have no idea what they’re doing.”

Coworker: “Don’t worry; we have our best employee on it. She always gets it right.”

(This is stretching it, because no one ever gets it right for this woman. She’s one of those people who isn’t happy unless she can send something back. I hand over the food and drink to my coworker. He slips the splenda into a bag with extra napkins and a stir stick and hands everything out to her. When he holds the drink to her, she refuses to touch it.)

Coworker: “Your drink, ma’am?”

Customer: “Excuse me? I’m not touching it like that. I want it double cupped and with a sleeve. I’m not burning my hand.”

(Somehow, my coworker manages to keep a straight face, despite the fact that her drink is cool to the touch because she ordered her SMALL drink with THREE LARGE creams. I silently hand him an extra cup and sleeve, both of which are new additions to her regular order.)

Coworker: “Here you go! I’m sorry about that! Have a nice day!”

(He closes the window and helps start on the next order. We’re all feeling anxious as we watch the timer tick up as the woman roots through her order, refusing to drive away until she’s checked everything. She opens the bag with the splenda and the begins rapping on the window.)

Coworker: “Is there a problem?”

Customer: *screaming* “I ONLY WANTED TWO SPLENDA!”

(She throws the extra splenda and the napkins at him through the window. We’re all stunned. She then sits there and pours the TWO splenda packets into her drink, mixes it, and slowly sips it.)

Customer: “UGH. This is disgusting.”

Coworker: “We can remake it for you, if you want—”

Customer: “No, I think you’ve wasted enough of my time!”

(She peels off. In total, she sat at our drive-thru window for five minutes during our rush. She, of course, came back everyday for her “disgusting” drink.)