Not A Nice Touch

| Australia | Uncategorized

Me: “Hi! What can I get for you?”

(Customer places his order, pays, and takes his food without saying a word.)

Me: “Here you are. Have a nice day.”

Customer: “What if I don’t want to have a nice day, huh?”

Me: “Um…don’t?”

Customer: “Don’t be so rude!” *storms out angrily*

Coworker: “What just happened?”

Freedom Fries Aren’t Free

| Canada | Uncategorized

(A customer man tries to pay with with American money.)

Customer: “What do you mean you don’t take American currency? That’s ridiculous!”

Me: “Sorry, sir, but it’s a private business, not corporate, and the owner doesn’t accept foreign currency.”

Customer: “Foreign currency? Bah! We should have conquered you people a hundred years ago!”

Me: “Actually, sir, America invaded Canada a few times. However, they were defeated each time.”

Customer: “Yes, well that wouldn’t be the case today! Now give me some good old American fast food! You can’t take that away from me!”

Me: “Would you like French Fries with that?”

Driving The Point Home

| Illinois, USA | Top

(Note: our Drive-thru has a strict “No Cell Phone” policy. A customer pulls up to our drive-thru while talking on her cellphone.)

Me: “How may I help you?”

Customer: *continues talking on cellphone*

Me: “May I help you?”

Customer: *continues talking on cellphone*

Me: “Please end your phone call now, or I will have to ask you to leave our drive-thru.”

(The customer finally hangs up about 15 seconds later.)

Customer: “Hello? Hello? Is anyone there? Will someone take my order?!”

Me: “May I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, what took you so long? No one ever even said anything to me.” *places order*

Me: “Your total is $xx.xx, first window.”

Customer: *pulls up to the window*

Me: “Ma’am, you do know our restaurant has a strict “No Cell Phone” policy in drive thru.”

Customer: “Well, I wasn’t on my cell phone.”

Me: “You spent 5 minutes ignoring me asking for your order, and I could hear you talking on your cell phone.”

Customer: “Well, I most certainly wasn’t!”

Me: “Ma’am, we have that no cell phone policy. Please don’t use it again in drive-thru, because we might have to ask you to leave the drive-thru if it happens again.”

Customer: “Why?”

Me: “Because you took 5 minutes to even start placing your order. That’s 5 minutes we can’t take any other orders.”

Customer: “This is bulls***! I don’t even have a cellphone!”

(Suddenly, the customer’s cell phone rings. She picks it up.)

Customer: “Hello? Oh my gosh, no he didn’t!”

(It took me another 3 minutes to get her money.)

Sadly Just Small-Fry

, | New York, NY, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “Hi, I’d like some of your free Wi-fries.”

Me: “Um, excuse me?”

Customer: “I heard on your commercial that you were offering free Wi-fries.”

Me: “Oh, you must have misunderstood. It means we offer free wireless internet here, not free fries.”

Customer: “Oh man, I was looking forward to trying a new kind of fry.”

The Wisdom To Know The Difference

, | Los Angeles, CA, USA | Top

(I’m with my wife at a well known fast food place, and they employ a young man with special needs who we both know and are very friendly with. An angry customer accosts him at the register.)

Customer: “S***, they’re taking so f***ing long with my food!”

Employee: “Just a sec, sir…”

Customer: “You’d better!”

(Not three minutes later, the employee comes with the customer’s food.)

Employee: “Here you go, sir.”

Customer: “Where’s the f***ing ranch?”

Employee: “Right away, sir!”

Customer: “No, forget it! You’ll probably slobber all over it!”

Wife: “Excuse me, sir, but this young man is doing his job. He’s not doing anything to hurt you, so how about you shut the f*** up!”

Customer: “F*** you, fat a**!”

Employee: “She’s a nice lady! There’s a baby inside her, and she’s not fat!”

Customer: “F*** you!” *storms out, upsetting some chairs*

Wife, to the employee: “People are so mean to you, honey. I’m so sorry, I can’t believe he said that to you, that a**hole!”

Employee: *grinning* “Don’t worry about it, Jesus and my mama still love me!” *walks away, the happiest man on earth*

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