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    It’s What’s For Dinner

    , | Stanwood, WA, USA |

    Coworker: Welcome to [fast food burger joint], what’s your beef?

    Customer: “I ain’t got a beef, you got the beef. What’s YOUR beef?”

    Coworker: “I got the good beef. You want some beef?”

    Customer: ¬†”Yes, I want some beef, you gonna bring it?”

    Coworker: “Yeah, I’ll bring it, you payin’?”

    Customer: ¬†”Course I’m payin’, you makin’?”

    Coworker: ¬†”Yes we’re makin’.”

    Customer: ¬†”Good, how much?”

    Coworker: ¬†”You have to order first, sir.”

    Customer: “Oh yeah…”

    Sometimes, You Just Can’t Win

    | Ohio, USA |

    Me: “Hello, may I help you?”

    Customer: “I’d like some baked chicken.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, we only have fried chicken.”

    Customer: “How about roasted chicken?”

    Me: “No, we only have fried chicken.”

    Customer: “How about broasted… boasted chicken?”

    (Yes, she actually said boasted chicken.)

    Me: “No, ma’am, all we have is plain old fried chicken.”

    Customer: “Oh, okay.” *leaves*

    Boss: “Hey, don’t call the chicken old.”

    Me: *facepalm*

    Your Prank Got Spanked, Part 2

    | Richmond, VA, USA | Top

    Me: “Thank you for calling [hotel], this is John speaking, how can I help you?

    Caller: “I’m trying to get in contact with Mike Hunt.”

    (I check the guest list to make sure we don’t actually have a Michael Hunt staying with us.)

    Me: “Yes, Mr. Hunt is sharing a room with I.P. Freely, and he asked me to give you a message: he said to not call here again until you can come up with something a little more original, you pathetic losers.”

    Caller: *hangs up*

    Related:
    Your Prank Got Spanked

    Sorry, You’ve Just Exceeded Our Stupid Quota

    | Houston, TX, USA |

    (It was an hour before closing, and all of us were very tired–the manager included.)

    Me: “Hi, how may I help you?”

    Customer: “What does the chicken sandwich look like?” *points at a picture of it*

    Me: “It looks just like the one in the picture, ma’am.”

    Customer: “Are you sure? How long have you been working here?”

    Me: “Yes ma’am, I’m sure. I’ve been working here over a year.”

    Customer: “Well, um… I guess I’ll get that one.”

    (I take her money and give her the chicken sandwich.)

    Customer: “This is not what it looks like!”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Customer: “Get me your manager, d*** it!”

    Manager: “Yes, ma’am?”

    Customer: “This chicken sandwich is not like in the picture!”

    Manager: “Yes, you’re right. The one the picture is over a foot wide and fake.”

    Customer: “I will not stand for this!”

    Manager: “Either will I. Leave my employees alone!”

    Customer: *starts screaming*

    Manager: “You have a happy go lucky day now, ma’am!”

    Related:
    Just Another Day At Work
    Even Bosses Have A Stupid Quota, Part 3
    Even Bosses Have A Stupid Quota, Part 2
    Even Bosses Have A Stupid Quota

    Effective Marketing

    , | Orem, UT, USA |

    (An elderly woman is complaining to my manager about a recent ad in which a woman appears in lingerie. The ad is promoting a special on two fish sandwiches for $4.)

    Woman: “I was so offended. I can’t believe they would show that on TV. Children might have been watching!”

    Manager: “I’m very sorry you were offended, ma’am.”

    Woman: “It was so offensive! Is there anyone I can talk to?”

    Manager: “I can give you the number for the regional office or you can send an email from the website.”

    Woman: “It was just so offensive!”

    Manager: “Again, I’m very sorry ma’am. By the way, here are your two fish sandwiches.”

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