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    Say What?

    , | Minnesota, USA |

    Cashier, to me: “Can you please help me? I have no idea what this guy is saying.

    Me: “Hi sir, how can I help you?”

    Customer: “Yeah, I wanna cup of onions and cheese.”

    Me: “Um, we don’t have that on the menu. Did you just want a side of onions?”

    Customer: “NO! I want the onions… those little things.”

    Me: “What do you mean? Did you want a burger with only onions?”

    Customer: “NO! I want onions and cheese!”

    Me: “Ok…” *I go to the back and get some onions in a cup* “Is this what you wanted?”

    Customer: “No. I want a cup of onions and cheese.”

    Me: “These are the only kind of onions we have here, sir.”

    Customer: “No. What is this?” *picks up a milk jug*

    Me: “A jug of milk…”

    Customer: “Yeah, that’s what I want! What is so hard to understand what I’m saying?”

    Me: “I don’t know… but those aren’t onions or cheese.”

    Customer: “It’s a hamburger!”

    Our EQ Just Ate Your IQ

    , | Wisconsin, USA |

    (Our restaurant is in walking distance of an assisted living center so many of regulars are special needs adults. We get a regular group of four people who have to make their order the same way every time. The routine involves the four of them reading the menu board for about five minutes and then one of them ordering each of them a hamburger individually.)

    Me: “Hey! What can I get you?”

    Special Needs Adult: “I would like a hamburger and a hamburger and a hamburger and a hamburger.”

    (An agitated customer who has been standing in line behind the group the entire time chimes in.)

    Customer: “He would like four hamburgers. Can we hurry this up?”

    Special Needs Adult: “No! I would like a hamburger and a hamburger and a hamburger and a hamburger.”

    Customer: “Oh my god!”

    Me: “So if I got this right you would like a hamburger and a hamburger and a hamburger and a hamburger?”

    Special Needs Adult: “Yes, that’s right!”

    Me: “You know what I think you need? A high five!”

    Special Needs Adult: “You know I do!”

    (I high five the guy over the counter and the other three all take a turn getting a high five.)

    Customer: “This is just ridiculous!” *storms out of the store*

    This Land Was Made For Me Not You

    , | Medford, OR, USA |

    Me: “Hello, May I take your order?”

    Customer: “Yes I’d like two bean burritos, 2 fah-jee-tuhs, grilled stuffed burritos, and a large drink.”

    Me: “Fah-jee-tuh?”

    Customer: “Yes!”

    Me: “You mean fajitas?”

    Customer: “No, we don’t pronounce it like that! We’re in America, not Mexico!”

    It’s All In The Wrist

    , | Oregon, USA | Top

    Me: “Okay, will that be everything for you? For here or to go?”

    Customer: “Here.”

    Me: “That will be $8.42.”

    (The customer pulls out a $1 bill and slaps it on the table.)

    Customer: “Wham!”

    Me: *blank stare*

    (The customer’s girlfriend starts cracking up.)

    Customer: “Oh. whoops! Lets try that one again…” *pulls out a $10 bill* “Wham!”

    May We Suggest The Covert Cauliflowers

    , | Edmonton, Canada |

    (I’m restocking a salad bar at a restaurant when a customer walks up to me.)

    Customer: “Excuse me? You’re running out of espionage in the Salad bar.”

    Me: “….excuse me? Espionage?”

    Customer: “Yes, espionage.”

    (He meant spinach, since I hadn’t gotten around to restocking that.)

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