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    It’s All In The Wrist

    , | Oregon, USA | Top

    Me: “Okay, will that be everything for you? For here or to go?”

    Customer: “Here.”

    Me: “That will be $8.42.”

    (The customer pulls out a $1 bill and slaps it on the table.)

    Customer: “Wham!”

    Me: *blank stare*

    (The customer’s girlfriend starts cracking up.)

    Customer: “Oh. whoops! Lets try that one again…” *pulls out a $10 bill* “Wham!”

    May We Suggest The Covert Cauliflowers

    , | Edmonton, Canada |

    (I’m restocking a salad bar at a restaurant when a customer walks up to me.)

    Customer: “Excuse me? You’re running out of espionage in the Salad bar.”

    Me: “….excuse me? Espionage?”

    Customer: “Yes, espionage.”

    (He meant spinach, since I hadn’t gotten around to restocking that.)

    Fact Check Fail

    , | Liberty, MO, USA |

    Customer: “I want a refund. NOW!”

    Me: “What seems to be the problem, sir?”

    Customer: “I came through the drive-thru about fifteen minutes ago, and you shorted me six tacos!”

    Me: “…”

    Customer: “Well?!”

    Me: “We don’t have a drive-thru.”

    Customer: *slinks out of the store*

    Related:
    Fibbing Fail
    Cheapskates: FAIL
    Guilt Trip: FAIL
    Impersonating Your Boss: FAIL

    Head Explodes In 5, 4, 3…

    , | Dallas, TX |

    Me: “Thank you for choosing ***, how may I help you?”

    Customer: “Yes, I would like the patty melt meal.”

    Me: “Okay, would you like the single or double meat?”

    Customer: “I just want it the way it comes.”

    Me: “Well, we have it in a single and a double meat.”

    Customer: “I JUST WANT IT THE WAY IT COMES!”

    (I didn’t want to piss her off anymore, so I just rang up the double meat. She eventually pulls to the first window.)

    Customer: “EXCUSE ME SIR! Why weren’t you listening?”

    Me: “I was, ma’am.”

    Customer: “NO YOU WEREN’T! I HAD TO TELL YOU 3 TIMES!”

    Me: “Ma’am, we have a double meat or a single meat of the burger. You wouldn’t answer my question.”

    Customer: “I JUST WANT IT THE WAY IT COMES!”

    (At this point, I’m just like screw it and I apologized and gave her the change.)

    Me: “Have a good–”"

    Customer: “Oh, and I want that with mayonnaise instead of the sauce you put on it.”

    Me: “……”

    It Will Return Soon Enough

    , | Buffalo, NY, USA |

    Me: “Thank you for calling ****. Can I help you?”

    Customer: “Yes, I ordered some food and I need a refund.”

    Me: “Of course – can you please explain what the matter with your food was?”

    Customer: “Well, I drove it home and put it on the counter. My husband asked me to help him rake up some leaves. When I got back in, the dog had gotten up on the counter and eaten everything.”

    Me: “You want me to replace the food your dog ate?”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    Me: “…”

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