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    A High Credit Limit

    , | Hamilton, ON, Canada |

    (A customer comes up to the register at about 11 pm, looking a little out of it.)

    Customer: “Hi, how much is a double cheeseburger?”

    Me: “With tax, it comes to $1.46.”

    Customer: “Oh…okay…” (Searches through his pockets and comes up with 63 cents.) “Can I pay with this much cash and the rest on debit?”

    Me: “Sure, that’s no problem. I’ll have to do the debit portion first.”

    Customer: “Normally, I’d pay with the whole thing on debit, but I just bought a bunch of pot and I don’t know what’s left in my account.”

    Me: “How did you manage to buy pot with your debit card?”

    Customer: “Oh man! My dealer is so great! He just got one of those portable debit machines! He comes right to my house!”

    Me: “Well, if you could just swipe your card…”

    Customer: “Oh no! I didn’t protect my pin. What if you saw it?”

    Me: “Oh, don’t worry sir, I was over there I wasn’t even watching, and anyways I have a terrible memory.”

    Customer: “Ok, well it’s 6969. That’s my favorite number!”

    (After leaving with his food I had to chase after him, as he had left his debit card in the machine.)

    Would You Like To Super-Size That Band-Aid?

    , | Cincinnati, OH, USA |

    (I’m working register when a lady comes up leading her sobbing son. He has a big lump on his forehead that’s starting to turn black and blue.)

    Customer: “Could I have some ice for his head? He hit it on something.”

    Me: “Yes! Poor little guy.”

    (I fill a glove with ice, wrap it in a paper rag and hand it over.)

    Me: “First Aid is just down there.”

    Customer: “Okay, thanks. Hey, while we’re here, could I get a grilled chicken salad?”

    When You’re Always Right, The Earth Revolves Around You

    , | Kennesaw, GA, USA |

    (While working at the drive-thru window early one morning, a woman starts talking to me as I am waiting on her food.)

    Customer: “Can you name 7 planets?”

    Me: “Uh…I can name 9, if you want to include Pluto…” *names the planets*

    Customer: “What about the sun?”

    Me: “The sun is a star.”

    Customer: “Oh. What about the moon?”

    Me: “The moon is our natural satellite…”

    Customer: “Huh. But it doesn’t move.”

    Me: “The moon revolves around the Earth.”

    Customer: “But the moon doesn’t move. I can see it right now.”

    Me: *hands her her food* “OK ma’am…have a nice day.”

    Haute Cuisine In A Value Meal

    | Manitoba, Canada |

    Me: *in the drive-thru* “Hello, welcome to ****. What can I get for you today?”

    Customer: “Yes, hi, I was just wondering, what are your apple slices?”

    Me: “I’m sorry sir, I don’t understand the question. Are you asking for the price?”

    Customer: “No, I want to know what they are. On the menu it says ‘apple slices’. What are they?”

    Me: “They’re…slices of apple, sir.”

    Customer: “That’s it?”

    Me: “Yes sir.”

    Customer: “Oh. I thought maybe they were something fancier than that. Never mind.”

    Right Next Door But Worlds Away

    | Idaho, USA |

    (I had just finished taking an order for a customer. My parents are from Germany, so I have a slight accent.)

    Me: “That will be $10.87, ma’am. Anything else for you?”

    Customer: “You have a a very neat accent, miss. Where are you from?”

    Me: “I was born in Colorado, ma’am.”

    Customer: “Wow, really? What language do they speak there?”

    Me: “…”

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