October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

Hashpocalypse Now

, | Sydney, Australia | Bizarre, Food & Drink

(I’m working the breakfast shift when a man comes in with his children who look about 5 or 6. He orders a large amount of food.)

Customer: “And can I get…four hash browns with that?”

Me: “Certainly.”

(I type in the total and show it to him.)

Customer: “What? $4.80? Are you kidding?”

Me: “That’s how much it is.”

Customer: “No way! That’s too expensive! I can’t justify that. Get rid of them!”

(I cancel the last item while the customer continues ranting.)

Customer: “It’s also the fact that they’re just hot oil! I can’t give my kids that poison!”

Me: “What?”

Customer: “This whole place is poison! All of it! You know the cancer charities you guys set up? Your food is causing the cancer that those kids are dying from!”

Me: “Uh…”

Customer: “You’re poisoning people! Poisoning my kids! Working here, you kill more people a year than smoking!”

Me: “Really?”

Customer: *mimicking me* “‘Really?’ Why don’t you do some bloody research before you start a job, girl?!”

Me: *speechless*

Customer: “This whole place is evil! You should have a freaking skull and crossbones out the front! I can’t justify buying hash browns and poisoning my kids!” *leaves with his kids and his food, minus the evil hash browns*

Warning: Reacts Poorly To Chemistry

, | Ohio, USA | Food & Drink

Customer: “And a cheeseburger with—” *mumbling*

Me: “I’m sorry, but with what?”

Customer: “No salt. S, A, L, T.”

Me: “Oh, salt, like sodium chloride…NaCl. Sure.”

Customer: “What!?”

Me: “Oh, sorry, I’m a chemistry nerd.”

Customer: “What’s NaCl?”

Me: “Sodium chloride. The chemical name for table salt. I just left school so I am in that mindset.”

Customer: “You put chemicals in your burgers!?”

Weekend Roundup: Don’t Mess With Employees

, , , | Not Always Right Archives | Roundups

Introducing Weekend Roundups: each week, we’ll be featuring some of our favorite stories from the Not Always Right archives.

Don’t Mess With Employees! This week, we feature five stories that teach misbehaving customers the consequences of messing with employees.

  1. In Real Hot Sauce Now:
    A young teenage employee decides her dignity is worth more than £3.71 and dealing with a cowardly manager.
  2. A Good Ol’ Fashioned A** Whoopin’:
    A customer tries to rough up an employee, but ends up getting roughed up by the manager instead.
  3. Hard Drugs And Harder Pharmacists:
    Teenage robber, meet Doug. Doug is our new pharmacy tech. Doug is also built like a fridge.
  4. Who’s Got The Power Now:
    Tech support is happy to support your technology. Supporting your potty mouth, not so much.
  5. Your Prank Got Spanked:
    A prank caller picks the wrong, well-armed store to call.

One Whopper Of A Mistake

, | Massachusetts, USA | Food & Drink

(A customer walks in and slams a bag down on the counter in front of me.)

Me: “Yes, can I help you, sir?”

Customer: “Yes! I drove all the way home and had to come all the way back here! That young lady right there said my mozzarella sticks were in this bag, but THEY’RE NOT!”

(He points rather exaggeratedly at the girl in the drive thru. I look calmly down at the bag, then up at the customer.)

Me: “Sir, this is McDonald’s. That’s a Burger King bag.”

(He then looks down at the bag and slowly back up at me.)

Customer: “Oh.” *picks up bag and runs out the door*

Also Check Out The Endless “What People Think I Do” Charts

, | Ohio, USA | Rude & Risque

(I am a customer at a restaurant. I’m wearing a shirt from a popular web comic. A woman, also a customer, approaches me.)

Customer: “I love your shirt!”

Me: “Aw, thanks! Are you a fan of [web comic]?”

Customer: “No, I’ve never heard of it, but your shirt is so cute. I just have to have one! Where did you get it?”

Me: “I bought it online. Do you want the name of the website?”

Customer: *suddenly huffy and angry* “Excuse me?”

Me: “Um, do you want the name of the place on the internet that I ordered the shirt from?”

Customer: “Do you think I’m stupid? Are you trying to trick me? There’s no such thing as a website with shirts on it! The only things on the internet are porn and pedophiles!”

Me: *completely speechless*

Nearby customer: “Ma’am, could you please settle down? There are children around, and I’m sure their parents don’t want them hearing about–”

Customer: “Porn and pedophiles!” *rushes out of restaurant*

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