Let Me Give You A Pita My Mind

, | Ontario, Canada | Food & Drink

Me: “Hi, there. What could I get for you?”

Customer: “Hi. Uh, do you guys sell slices?”

Me: “No, this is a pita shop.”

Customer: “So you don’t have pizza?”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “Well, what do you have?”

Me: “Pitas. We’re a pita shop.”

Customer: “Well, what’s a pita?”

Me: “It’s like a wrap.”

Customer: “That’s gross!”

Related:
Let Me Give You A Pizza My Mind, Part 2
Let Me Give You A Pizza My Mind
Giving A Pizza My Mind

Desperate Drive-Thru-Wives

, | Fort Wayne, IN, USA | Rude & Risque

(I’m presenting at the drive-thru of a well-known franchise. A van full of women in their 30s and 40s pulls up. I hand them their drinks and proceed to make small talk with them while waiting for my runner to finish assembling the meal.)

Me: “So, it’ll be just a moment and your food will be ready!”

(As I talk to the driver, she pulls a weird, thick, peach-colored item from her bag. She and her friends start laughing.)

Driver: “Oh, that’s fine, honey! Take your time!”

Me: “Haha, all…right…”

(Suddenly, I realize what the item is. It’s a phallic-shaped pen.)

Me: “That’s…um. That’s an interesting pen you have there, haha!”

Driver: *waving it around* “Oh yes, isn’t it?”

Me: “Er…yes! Here’s your food! You have a good day, now!”

Driver: “Oh, I don’t think this is big enough, but I’ll try!”

(All the women in the van laugh as they drive off.)

Me: *speechless*

Everything Sounds So Delightfully Good

, | Wisconsin, USA | Food & Drink

(Every day, we have soups available. When a soup runs out, we take its card out of the display and put in a placeholder that says something like “Warm Goodness” or “Homestyle Delight” just to fill space. The cards very clearly do not look like the rest of the cards since the normal soups have descriptions where the placeholders say “Try our soups today!”)

Customer: “I’d like some of the Warm Goodness.”

Me: “Well that isn’t actually a soup, it’s just a placeholder. We do have several other soups today.”

Customer: “Silly me. I’ll have the Homestyle Delight instead.”

Celebrate Good Hearing, Come On

, | Evans, GA, USA | Food & Drink

(I’m using the headset for the drive through.)

Me: “Hello, thank you for choosing [restaurant]. Would you like to have one of our celebration specials today?”

Customer: “No. So, do you all still have that celebration special?”

Me: “Yes. Yes, we do…”

Sorry, You’re Toast

, | Evans, GA, USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink

Customer: “Does your kids’ chicken finger meal come with toast?”

(The little boy, about ten, looks horrified at the mention of toast.)

Me: “No, ma’am, it doesn’t.”

(The boy’s face immediately lights up with happiness.)

Customer: “Just add a piece of toast, then.”

Boy: “But mom, I don’t like toast!”

Customer: “You don’t know what you like.” *turns to me* “Add the toast.”

Boy: *looks like he’s about to cry*

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