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  • A Caffeinated Christmas Miracle
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  • The Twelve (Billion) Days Of Christmas

    | Australia |

    (Note: this takes place Christmas Eve.)

    Customer: “What’s this about you guys closing tomorrow?”

    Me: “Yes, we are closed for Christmas day so we can have time with our families.”

    Customer: “But if you’re closed, then what am I supposed to feed my family with!? You guys are supposed to be open all the time!”

    Me: “But what about our families? Can’t we spend time with them?”

    Customer: “No, because you’re supposed to be here working and serving us food!”

    The Best Looks Come With No Brains

    | Pueblo, CO, USA |

    (I call waiting customers numbers when their food is ready. I notice a customer picks up the wrong item.)

    Me: “Ma’am, you accidentally picked up the wrong meal. This one is yours.”

    Customer 1: “Oh, I know. This one looked better.”

    (The customer walks off with wrong meal.)

    Customer 2: “Excuse me, did she just take my food?”

    Me: “Well, actually yes. I’m really sorry about that, I tried to tell her and she wouldn’t listen.”

    Customer 2: “Well, I don’t blame her. My food looked way better.”

    Can’t Vouch(er) For His Intelligence

    | Miami, FL, USA |

    Me: “How may I help you?”

    Customer: “Cheeseburger and a small coke.”

    Me: “Alright, your total is $2.99.”

    Customer: “What?”

    Me: “Your total is $2.99, sir.”

    Customer: “No, it’s not. It’s free!”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “I won some of your scratch off things and got a free cheeseburger and small coke!”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, you should have said that sooner. Well, give me the coupons then.”

    Customer: “I had to bring them?”

    Not A Nice Touch

    | Australia |

    Me: “Hi! What can I get for you?”

    (Customer places his order, pays, and takes his food without saying a word.)

    Me: “Here you are. Have a nice day.”

    Customer: “What if I don’t want to have a nice day, huh?”

    Me: “Um…don’t?”

    Customer: “Don’t be so rude!” *storms out angrily*

    Coworker: “What just happened?”

    Freedom Fries Aren’t Free

    | Canada |

    (A customer man tries to pay with with American money.)

    Customer: “What do you mean you don’t take American currency? That’s ridiculous!”

    Me: “Sorry, sir, but it’s a private business, not corporate, and the owner doesn’t accept foreign currency.”

    Customer: “Foreign currency? Bah! We should have conquered you people a hundred years ago!”

    Me: “Actually, sir, America invaded Canada a few times. However, they were defeated each time.”

    Customer: “Yes, well that wouldn’t be the case today! Now give me some good old American fast food! You can’t take that away from me!”

    Me: “Would you like French Fries with that?”

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