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  • Customer Service Is Over(reaction)
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    Seven Sons For Seven Burgers

    , | Connecticut, USA |

    Customer: “You seem a bit slow. Is this your first day?”

    Me: “Actually, it is. I’m sorry if I held you up.”

    Customer: “No problem. You’ll get the hang of it. I should know. I have seven sons, and they all work at fast food places just like you.”

    Me: “Oh, that’s nice!”

    Customer: “No, it’s not. It’s pathetic and disappointing!”

    Related:
    Childhood Dream, Meet Retail Nightmare

    When Super-Sized Burgers Meet Bite-Sized Brains

    , | NSW, Australia | Food & Drink

    (At the fast food restaurant where I work, we’ve just introduced a burger that is very large. Three customers come into the store…)

    Customer #1: “Can I get that new burger?”

    Me: “Sure, would you like anything else?”

    Customer #2: “Oh my God! You’re getting the new burger?!”

    Customer #1: “Yeah!”

    Customer #2, to me: “Hey, would that burger fit in my mouth?” *opens his mouth wide*

    Me: “No, sir. I seriously believe it won’t.”

    Customer #2: “What about now?” *opens bigger*

    Me: “No, sir.”

    Customer #2: “NOW?” *opens it as large as he possibly can*

    Me: “No.”

    Customer #3: “I apologise for his small mouth.” *hits the second customer on the head*

    Me: “That’s okay.”

    Customer #3: “So, would it fit in mine?” *opens mouth*

    Me: “No it won’t, sir…”

    Extremely Public Education

    , | Minneapolis, MN, USA |

    Me: “Hi, can I take your order?”

    Drive-thru customer: “I’m sorry, I don’t understand what you’re saying.”

    Me: “Can I take your order?”

    Drive-thru customer: “I know, I heard you. But why would you ask that question like that?”

    Me: “Um, I need to know what food to have prepared for you.”

    Drive-thru customer: “Don’t get smart with me! I heard what you said, and I would prefer it if you’d word your sentence differently.”

    Me: “Oh, okay. May I take your order?”

    Drive-thru customer: “That’s better! Yes, you may!”

    Me: “Okay, what would you like?”

    Drive-thru customer: “I’m not sure yet. Give me a minute!”

    A High Credit Limit

    , | Hamilton, ON, Canada |

    (A customer comes up to the register at about 11 pm, looking a little out of it.)

    Customer: “Hi, how much is a double cheeseburger?”

    Me: “With tax, it comes to $1.46.”

    Customer: “Oh…okay…” (Searches through his pockets and comes up with 63 cents.) “Can I pay with this much cash and the rest on debit?”

    Me: “Sure, that’s no problem. I’ll have to do the debit portion first.”

    Customer: “Normally, I’d pay with the whole thing on debit, but I just bought a bunch of pot and I don’t know what’s left in my account.”

    Me: “How did you manage to buy pot with your debit card?”

    Customer: “Oh man! My dealer is so great! He just got one of those portable debit machines! He comes right to my house!”

    Me: “Well, if you could just swipe your card…”

    Customer: “Oh no! I didn’t protect my pin. What if you saw it?”

    Me: “Oh, don’t worry sir, I was over there I wasn’t even watching, and anyways I have a terrible memory.”

    Customer: “Ok, well it’s 6969. That’s my favorite number!”

    (After leaving with his food I had to chase after him, as he had left his debit card in the machine.)

    Would You Like To Super-Size That Band-Aid?

    , | Cincinnati, OH, USA |

    (I’m working register when a lady comes up leading her sobbing son. He has a big lump on his forehead that’s starting to turn black and blue.)

    Customer: “Could I have some ice for his head? He hit it on something.”

    Me: “Yes! Poor little guy.”

    (I fill a glove with ice, wrap it in a paper rag and hand it over.)

    Me: “First Aid is just down there.”

    Customer: “Okay, thanks. Hey, while we’re here, could I get a grilled chicken salad?”


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