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    Rain Drops Keep Falling On My (Thick) Head

    , | Illinois, USA |

    Me: “Thank you for choosing [name], how can I help you?”

    (All I hear is the rain falling, so I repeat several times until the customer finally pulls around.)

    Customer: “Did you get my order?”

    Me: “No, I didn’t hear you say anything, sir.”

    Customer: “Oh, well, I didn’t want rain to get in my car. I wasn’t sure if you could hear me through my window.”

    Sweet (Tea) Out Of (Pot) Luck

    , | Tennessee, USA |

    (We are having our annual Christmas party/potluck dinner one Sunday night at our fast food restaurant. I’ve placed signs showing we are closed and have blocked off the drive thru. One of my fellow employees notices a man standing at the counter.)

    Me: “Hi sir, can I help you with something?”

    Customer: “I have been standing here for five minutes and I haven’t been helped! Give me a number one with a sweet tea.”

    Me: “Well, we are closed on Sundays. This is our Christmas Party.”

    Customer: “Closed? All the lights are on!”

    Me: “Well, we need them for the party.”

    Customer: “I have never heard of such a thing. So I can’t get that number one?”

    Me: “No sir, all of our machines are off. We are closed.”

    Customer: “What about a sweet tea?”

    Me: “Sir, we are closed. We don’t have anything we can give to customers.”

    (The customer sees our buffet-style employee potluck.)

    Customer: “Well, can I get a plate?”

    An Un-Usual Request

    , | Bangor, ME, USA |

    Me: “What can I get for you today?”

    Customer: “I’ll just have my usual.”

    Me: “I’m sorry sir, we don’t know your usual.”

    Customer: “They know it on [other location in town].”

    Me: “We’re not that location, sir. What would you like?”

    Customer: “Just call ‘em up and ask. I’ll wait!”

    Fast Food For Fast Thinkers

    , | Maryland, USA | Food & Drink, Geeks Rule, Top

    (I am working as a cashier and two customers come in talking loudly about how dumb minimum wage fast-food workers are. One of them decides to prove it…)

    Customer: “Let me ask you a question. What’s 7 times 7?”

    Me: “49.”

    Customer: “What’s 8 times 8?”

    Me: “64.”

    Customer: “E equals MC squared?”

    Me: “What about it?”

    Customer: “What does it mean?”

    Me: “Energy equals mass times the speed of light squared.”

    Customer: “Uhm…”

    Me: “Would you like fries with that?”

    Stir, Yes, Sir!

    , | Rochester, NY, USA |

    Coworker: “Thank you for choosing [fast food restaurant]. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “Medium! Coffee! Two! Equal!”

    Coworker: “Okay, will that be all?”

    Customer: “NOOO! Medium! Coffee! Two! Cream! Three! Equal!”

    Coworker: “Okay, two medium coffees. Will that be all?”

    Customer: “NOOO! Medium! Honey! Lemon! Tea! Three! Splendid!”

    Coworker: “Okay, will there be anything else?”

    Customer: “YESSS! Large! Coffee! French Vanilla! Double! Double!”

    Coworker: “Is that all?”

    Customer: “YESSS!”

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