Eating For Free (And For Two)

, | Durham, NC, USA | Food & Drink

(I work at a fast food restaurant gives customers their meals for free if they have been waiting a long time. This particular day, I’ve been told to void the next couple of cars. One girl in her 20s pulls up while talking on the phone.)

Me: “Hello! I’m sorry for your wait. Your meal is on the house.”

Customer: “Oh, really?! That’s awesome!”

Me: “There’s your meal! Have a great day.”

Customer: *into her phone* “Dude, [restaurant] just gave me my food for free! Yeah, and it was like a six dollar meal!” *quietly so we can’t hear* “I might be pregnant, but this just makes up for it!”

Weekend Roundup: Attack Of The Tax!

, , , , , | Not Always Right | Roundups

Attack Of The Tax! Tax season may be over in the U.S., but what happens when you mix clueless customers and too-high taxes? A ca-tax-trophe, that’s what!

  1. War Can Be Taxing:
    The Revolutionary War of 2012: Founding Fathers doing revolutions in their graves due to a brainless populace!
  2. Taxation With Agitation:
    It’s like the Boston Tea Party…except in a gas station…in Tennessee…
  3. Bacon, Lettuce, and Taxes:
    We know that fast food customers will eat anything, but we never knew taxes could be tasty!
  4. Taxing Customers:
    However you add things up, this retail customer is minus a few brain cells.
  5. Fortunately, It’s Raining Pork Barrels And Earmarks:
    Wonder where your tax dollars go? To humongous, lake-covering umbrellas, of course!

PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!

To Whom This May (Not) Concern, Part 2

, | Oregon, USA | Food & Drink

Me: *holding a bag out the window* “Dave! Bacon cheeseburger and regular fries!”

Customer: *comes up and grabs the bag* “Thanks!”

Me: “Hey, I just took your order like a minute ago. Didn’t you get an ice cream cone?”

Customer: “Yeah, thanks.”

Me: “That’s not an ice cream cone; it’s a bacon cheeseburger and regular fries. Is your name Dave?”

Customer: “No!” *hands back the bag* “Where’s my cone?!”

Related:
To Whom This May (Not) Concern

Weekend Roundup: Prank You Very Much

, , , , | Not Always Right | Roundups

Prank You Very Much! Happy April Fools’ Day, readers! This week, we share five stories that show the foolish hazards of pulling a fast one!

  1. Impractical Jokes:
    Guys, take note: a fake stabbing to freak out your wife might result in a real stabbing—by your wife!
  2. Bohemian Nobody:
    Customer, oo-oo-oo-ooh // Didn’t mean to make you cry // If you’re not back again this time tomorrow // Go away, go away // Your pranks don’t really matter…
  3. Prankin’ Like It’s 1929:
    This elderly caller’s prank is probably older than your grandparents, but he proves laughter IS the best medicine—especially when it’s at your expense!
  4. Your Prank Got Spanked, Part 2:
    A caller learns the hard way that if you’re gonna prank an employee, at least be original!
  5. Morbid Curiosity Killed The Cat:
    Note to prank callers: your cat is NOT a get-out-of-jail-free card!

PS: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

Here Today, (Not) Gone Tomorrow

, | Melbourne, Australia | Extra Stupid

(A man approaches the counter.)

Me: “Hello, sir, what can I get for you today?”

Customer: “Yes, I was wondering what days you guys are closed.”

Me: “We’re open everyday.”

Customer: “Yes, but which days aren’t you open?”

Me: “None. We are open every day.”

Customer: *irritated* “Are you deaf? Which days AREN’T you open?”

Me: “Sir, we are open on days that end with the letter Y.”

Customer: “Right! So you’re open 4 days a week! Why didn’t you just say that?”

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