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    Fowl Behavior, Part 3

    , | Kelmscott, WA, USA |

    Me: “Hello, sir, can I take your order?”

    Customer: “Uh, yeah…can I have two whole roast chickens?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but we are all out at the moment. If you come back in 30 minutes, there will be some chickens available”

    Customer: “But what about those chickens over there?” *points at plastic display chickens*

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but those are display chickens. They are not real.”

    Customer: *raises voice* “I reckon those chickens are real and you’re just trying to keep them for yourself!”

    (The customer stabs the chicken with a plastic knife from our tray. A chunk of polystyrene is taken out.)

    Customer: “Oh, I guess you were telling the truth. I’ll come back in half an hour.”

    Related:
    Fowl Behavior, Part 2
    Fowl Behavior
    Fowl Play

    A Calculated Whisk

    | Waukesha, WI, USA |

    (A customer arrives to pick up the meal he ordered over the phone.)

    Me: “So you would like to add to chocolate shakes to your phone in order?”

    Customer: “Yes, please.”

    (I crack out calculator to add the two orders and sales tax.)

    Customer: “Typical! Teenagers can’t solve any problems without a calculator.”

    Me: “Okay then, what’s your total?”

    Customer: “I don’t know. Let me see the calculator.”

    Kill The Bill, Double The Trouble

    , | Ohio, USA |

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we cannot accept $50 bills. It’s against our security policy.”

    Customer: “When the h*** did this happen?”

    Me: “Two years ago, ma’am.”

    Customer: “I was in here last week and paid with a $100 bill.”

    Me: “Ma’am, our register wouldn’t allow us to enter $100 bills. Do you happen to have a credit card?”

    Customer: “What’s your name! I want to speak with your manager!”

    Manager: “What’s the problem?”

    Customer: “Your staff is lying by telling me he cannot accept a $50 bill. I was in here last week and paid with a $100 bill!”

    Manager: “I was on register all last week, ma’am, and I would have told you the same thing. It’s against our policy to accept bills $50 or larger.”

    Customer: “FINE!” *rips the bill in half* “HOW ABOUT NOW?”

    Related:
    Sometimes, Even Yoda Isn’t Enough

    Life Mangoes On

    , | Bloomington, MN, USA |

    Customer: “I want a shake.”

    Me: “What kind would you like?”

    Customer: “A milkshake.”

    Me: “Okay, sir. What flavor would you like?”

    Customer: “Whatever kind you have.”

    Me: “We have, vanilla, chocolate, banana, strawberry, peach and fudge. Which one would you like?”

    Customer: “Mango.”

    Me: “We don’t have mango sir, would you like the peach?”

    Customer: “No! I want a mango milkshake. Why does nobody ever understand?” *walks away*

    Rain Drops Keep Falling On My (Thick) Head

    , | Illinois, USA |

    Me: “Thank you for choosing [name], how can I help you?”

    (All I hear is the rain falling, so I repeat several times until the customer finally pulls around.)

    Customer: “Did you get my order?”

    Me: “No, I didn’t hear you say anything, sir.”

    Customer: “Oh, well, I didn’t want rain to get in my car. I wasn’t sure if you could hear me through my window.”

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