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    Need To Reroute This Transaction

    , | Hokes Bluff, AL, USA | Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month

    (I hear my coworker, who is somewhat new, reading our entire list of drinks off to a customer over the speaker. I go over to see what is going on, and hear this.)

    Customer: “I want a ‘route 44!’”

    Coworker: “Yes, ma’am, and what would you like to drink?”

    Customer: “A ‘route 44!’”

    Coworker: “What kind? We have—” *reads off drinks again*

    Customer: *angry* “A ‘ROUTE 44!’”

    Coworker: *to me* “I don’t know what to do. She’s just not getting it.”

    Me: *to Coworker* “They need you over there. I’ll take over here.” *to Customer* “Hi ma’am, what can I get you to drink with your order?”

    Customer: “Oh, my god. I WANT A ‘ROUTE 44!’”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am, but a route 44 what?”

    Customer: *screaming* “A ROUTE 44 LARGE! I WANT A ROUTE 44 LARGE!”

    Me: “Ma’am, route 44 is a size. What would you like to drink?”

    Customer: *pauses, mutters something to another person in the car* “I want a route 44 Coke…”

    Taking Action On The Distraction

    , | Estado de México, Mexico | Awesome Workers, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month

    (I’m the customer in this story. I’ve come to the mall and on the way out I visit a stall that makes crêpes.)

    Me: “Yeah, I’d like a ham with manchego one, please.”

    Worker: *Inputs the order in the computer* “Would you like chipotle or jalapeño, sir?”

    (I’ve wandered into my own thoughts and don’t listen.)

    Worker: “Sir?”

    Me: *snapping back* “Uh?”

    Worker: “Chipotle or jalapeño, sir?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    (The worker stares at me awkwardly and then I realize what I just said.)

    Me: “Sorry, sorry! Chipotle, please.”

    (The rest of the transaction goes without any trouble and then they proceed to make the crêpe.)

    Worker: “You tell me how much chipotle do you want, sir.”

    (I look at her dabbing a little of the stuff and then adding more and more.)

    Worker: “Uh… are you distracted again?”

    Me: “Not this time. I just like it spicy.”

    Bird Is The Word

    , | Montgomery, AL, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Religion

    (I am working the drive thru on a Sunday, a time when we have a lot of regular customers after church lets out. I recognize a man from last Sunday.)

    Me: “Hey, I remember you from the other day!”

    Customer: “That’s right! You have a good memory! I like to hear the word and eat the bird!”

    Needs Some Light Soul Food

    , | CA, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

    (I am working the drive thru of the store very early in the morning.)

    Me: “Welcome to [Fast Food Store], what could I get for you today?”

    Customer: “Just a small coffee.”

    Me: “How will you take your coffee today?”

    Customer: “Black, just like my soul.”

    Me: “… okay?”

    A Trashy Pick Up Line

    , | Canada | One-Liners, Rude & Risque

    (I am in my teens, taking out the garbage. One of our regular customers, an elderly man who is a well-known jokester, comes up to me at the end of his meal. I’m switching out the trash bag.)

    Elderly Man: “What are you doing?”

    Me: “Taking out the trash.”

    Elderly Man: “Well, I’m trash. Can you take me out?”

    (I laugh into the garbage can.)

    Me: “I’m afraid I can’t, but I’ll have to remember that one. It’s good!”

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