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    Pause For (Lack Of) Thought

    , | Waukesha, WI, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Fast Food Restaurant]. How can I help you?”

    Caller: “Yea, I’m calling about the nuts you put in my son’s ice cream.”

    Me: “Um, sir, we don’t sell ice cream here.”

    Caller: “Yeah, you did. I came in last night.”

    Me: “Sir, this is [Fast Food Restaurant]. We don’t serve ice cream here.”

    Caller: “Yeah, you do. For 49 cents. And you put nuts in my son’s ice cream! I’d like to speak to your manager!”

    Me: “You’re speaking to her.”

    Caller: “Oh, and you said you don’t serve ice cream here?”

    Me: “No sir, we don’t. I think you needed the number for [other restaurant] across the street.”

    Caller: You own both the restaurants?

    Me: “No sir, we don’t. We’re just us.”

    Caller: *long pause* “So what kind of desserts do you sell there?”

    Me: “Cinnamon Twists.”

    Caller: “I hate those things. What else you got?”

    Me: “Cinnamon Twists. That’s it.”

    Caller: “I heard you say that! What else do you have?”

    Me: “That’s it.”

    Caller: *longer pause* “Well, can you concoct something for me if I came in?”

    Me: “No, sir, we can’t do that.”

    Caller: “Oh…”

    Me: “Was there anything else you needed help with?”

    Caller: “No. Just to clarify, you don’t sell ice cream?”

    Me: “That’s right.”

    Caller: *long pause* “You should probably hang up now.”

    Pointless Points

    | Franklin, TN, USA |

    Me: “Thank you for calling [restaurant]. How can I help you?”

    Caller: *irate* “Hi, I came in yesterday and ate one of your sandwiches and it tasted awful. I want a refund!”

    Me: “I’m sorry to hear about that experience ma’am. Did you say this happened yesterday?”

    Caller: “Yes, it was yesterday.”

    Me: “As in Sunday? You’re sure this happened yesterday?”

    Caller: “Yes. I went through the drive-thru yesterday and got a sandwich that tasted awful!”

    Me: “Yesterday?”

    Caller: “Yes, Sunday, yesterday, what’s the problem?”

    Me: “Well, I’m sorry ma’am, but we’re closed on Sundays.”

    Caller: “Your point?”

    The Twelve (Billion) Days Of Christmas

    | Australia |

    (Note: this takes place Christmas Eve.)

    Customer: “What’s this about you guys closing tomorrow?”

    Me: “Yes, we are closed for Christmas day so we can have time with our families.”

    Customer: “But if you’re closed, then what am I supposed to feed my family with!? You guys are supposed to be open all the time!”

    Me: “But what about our families? Can’t we spend time with them?”

    Customer: “No, because you’re supposed to be here working and serving us food!”

    The Best Looks Come With No Brains

    | Pueblo, CO, USA |

    (I call waiting customers numbers when their food is ready. I notice a customer picks up the wrong item.)

    Me: “Ma’am, you accidentally picked up the wrong meal. This one is yours.”

    Customer 1: “Oh, I know. This one looked better.”

    (The customer walks off with wrong meal.)

    Customer 2: “Excuse me, did she just take my food?”

    Me: “Well, actually yes. I’m really sorry about that, I tried to tell her and she wouldn’t listen.”

    Customer 2: “Well, I don’t blame her. My food looked way better.”

    Can’t Vouch(er) For His Intelligence

    | Miami, FL, USA |

    Me: “How may I help you?”

    Customer: “Cheeseburger and a small coke.”

    Me: “Alright, your total is $2.99.”

    Customer: “What?”

    Me: “Your total is $2.99, sir.”

    Customer: “No, it’s not. It’s free!”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “I won some of your scratch off things and got a free cheeseburger and small coke!”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, you should have said that sooner. Well, give me the coupons then.”

    Customer: “I had to bring them?”

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