To Whom This May (Not) Concern, Part 2

, | Oregon, USA | Food & Drink

Me: *holding a bag out the window* “Dave! Bacon cheeseburger and regular fries!”

Customer: *comes up and grabs the bag* “Thanks!”

Me: “Hey, I just took your order like a minute ago. Didn’t you get an ice cream cone?”

Customer: “Yeah, thanks.”

Me: “That’s not an ice cream cone; it’s a bacon cheeseburger and regular fries. Is your name Dave?”

Customer: “No!” *hands back the bag* “Where’s my cone?!”

Related:
To Whom This May (Not) Concern

Weekend Roundup: Prank You Very Much

, , , , | Not Always Right | Roundups

Prank You Very Much! Happy April Fools’ Day, readers! This week, we share five stories that show the foolish hazards of pulling a fast one!

  1. Impractical Jokes:
    Guys, take note: a fake stabbing to freak out your wife might result in a real stabbing—by your wife!
  2. Bohemian Nobody:
    Customer, oo-oo-oo-ooh // Didn’t mean to make you cry // If you’re not back again this time tomorrow // Go away, go away // Your pranks don’t really matter…
  3. Prankin’ Like It’s 1929:
    This elderly caller’s prank is probably older than your grandparents, but he proves laughter IS the best medicine—especially when it’s at your expense!
  4. Your Prank Got Spanked, Part 2:
    A caller learns the hard way that if you’re gonna prank an employee, at least be original!
  5. Morbid Curiosity Killed The Cat:
    Note to prank callers: your cat is NOT a get-out-of-jail-free card!

PS: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

Here Today, (Not) Gone Tomorrow

, | Melbourne, Australia | Extra Stupid

(A man approaches the counter.)

Me: “Hello, sir, what can I get for you today?”

Customer: “Yes, I was wondering what days you guys are closed.”

Me: “We’re open everyday.”

Customer: “Yes, but which days aren’t you open?”

Me: “None. We are open every day.”

Customer: *irritated* “Are you deaf? Which days AREN’T you open?”

Me: “Sir, we are open on days that end with the letter Y.”

Customer: “Right! So you’re open 4 days a week! Why didn’t you just say that?”

Illegal Tender

, | Australia | Criminal/Illegal, Food & Drink

(I work late at night at a well-known fast food chain. We often get customers who are a little bit under the influence at night.)

Me: “That comes to $23.95, thanks.”

(The customer goes through his wallet and pockets and comes up about $5 short.)

Customer: “Do you want to buy some weed off me so I can pay for this order?”

Hashpocalypse Now

, | Sydney, Australia | Bizarre, Food & Drink

(I’m working the breakfast shift when a man comes in with his children who look about 5 or 6. He orders a large amount of food.)

Customer: “And can I get…four hash browns with that?”

Me: “Certainly.”

(I type in the total and show it to him.)

Customer: “What? $4.80? Are you kidding?”

Me: “That’s how much it is.”

Customer: “No way! That’s too expensive! I can’t justify that. Get rid of them!”

(I cancel the last item while the customer continues ranting.)

Customer: “It’s also the fact that they’re just hot oil! I can’t give my kids that poison!”

Me: “What?”

Customer: “This whole place is poison! All of it! You know the cancer charities you guys set up? Your food is causing the cancer that those kids are dying from!”

Me: “Uh…”

Customer: “You’re poisoning people! Poisoning my kids! Working here, you kill more people a year than smoking!”

Me: “Really?”

Customer: *mimicking me* “‘Really?’ Why don’t you do some bloody research before you start a job, girl?!”

Me: *speechless*

Customer: “This whole place is evil! You should have a freaking skull and crossbones out the front! I can’t justify buying hash browns and poisoning my kids!” *leaves with his kids and his food, minus the evil hash browns*

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