Would You Like Brains With That

, | England, UK | Food & Drink

(Our store usually sells side orders with several meals: three hot and one cold. One night, both of our microwaves have broken so we can only offer coleslaw.)

Me: “Unfortunately all our hot sides are gone today. I’m afraid I can only offer you coleslaw or extra fries as options.”

Customer: “Can I swap the coleslaw for a gravy?”

Me: “I’m afraid not; all our hot sides are unavailable. Are you okay with coleslaw or extra fries?”

Customer: “Oh, no hot sides…can I have beans, then?”

Me: “No. Sorry, as I mentioned you can only choose from coleslaw or extra fries. So, which would you like?”

Customer: “I don’t really like coleslaw or fries…can I have a corn instead?”

Me: “Um, no, you can’t. As I’ve already explained, we don’t have any hot side orders: just coleslaw or extra fries today. I’m sorry about that.”

Customer: “Well, you should have said something, then!”

Would You Like That For Her Or To Go

, | Lindale, TX, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Love/Romance

(I am in drive-thru, using a head set to communicate with customers. A male customer pulls up.)

Me: “Hi, how are you?”

Customer: “I’m doing well! How are you tonight?”

Me: “I’m good! What can I get for you?”

(The customer places his order, but has a question that I am unable to answer. So, my manager speaks into the headset to answer him.)

Customer: “WHAT HAPPENED TO THE GIRL?!”

Manager: “Sir, you’ll see her at the window.”

Customer: “WELL, BUTT OUT OF OUR CONVERSATION!”

(The customer pulls up to window.)

Customer: “TELL YOUR BOSS TO LEAVE US ALONE!” *glares at the window*

Me: “Um, yes sir…”

Combo Incognito

, | Texas, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Top

(At this restaurant, they take your name when you order, and call it out when your food is ready to be picked up. I’m waiting with other customers for orders.)

Cashier: “Jessica!”

(No one comes forward.)

Cashier: “Jessica? Is there a Jessica?”

(Again, no one comes forward. Three more orders come out, and in between each, the cashier calls for “Jessica” again. Meanwhile, a customer who ordered before me has been standing right at the counter and is getting impatient.)

Customer: “Excuse me, but these people who just got their orders got here after me. Do you have my order?

Cashier: “What’s your name?”

Customer: “Susan.”

Cashier: “We don’t have any orders for Susan. What did you order?”

Customer: “I got the #3 combo with a coke.”

Cashier: “That’s what the order for Jessica has.”

Customer: “Oh! I gave the name Jessica, but that’s not my name. I don’t like giving my real name.”

Cashier: “You gave the name Jessica, but didn’t claim the order for Jessica?”

Customer: “Well, it’s not my name!” *takes her bag and leaves*

Related:
Indecisively Incognito

Bigotry Gets Served

, | Boca Raton, FL, USA | Awesome Customers, Bigotry, Food & Drink, Top

(I’m a customer standing in line behind another customer at a Mexican fast-food restaurant.)

Cashier: “How can I help you today?”

Customer: “Excuse me, but you gay?”

Cashier: “Um…I mean…yeah, but I don’t see what that—”

Customer: *menacing* “I’m gonna need you to leave this here store, so a good Christian can take my order. Got that?!”

(The manager has overheard all this and walks over.)

Manager: “I’m sorry, sir, but you’re going to have to leave.”

Customer: “Are you discriminating on me ’cause I’m a Christian?”

Manager: “No, sir, I am not. I am also a Christian.”

Customer: “And you, a claimed Christian, hired this sodomite?”

Manager: “I hired this man because he does his job extremely well and is a good employee.”

Customer: “But he’s a sodomite!”

Manager: “You need to leave, now.”

Customer: “I ain’t leavin ’til I get my here IMMIGRANT food from a good Christian!”

(Fed up, hungry, and in a rush, I speak up.)

Me: “If you’ll excuse me, sir, I’m in too much of a rush to deal with your bulls***. Since you’re being kicked out, I’m going to give my order to the nice cashier over here. You can also go ahead and get something for yourself on my tab, because no one should have to put up with you!”

(The four other customers behind me clapped, while the customer screamed, “YOU’RE ALL HEATHENS!” and ran out like he was being chased by Satan. On top of that, I got my order on the house!)

Bad Day LA

, | Goshen, IN, USA | Food & Drink, Love/Romance

(It’s my first night working drive-thru. I’m really nervous and trying to be polite to the customers. A man orders his meal and pulls up to window to pay. He looks mad. He pays me, and I give him his change and hand him his bag.)

Me: “Have a nice day!”

Customer: “Not with the day I’m having.”

Me: “Yeah, we all have those kind of days.”

Customer: “NOT with the kind of day I’m having! When your wife leaves you for a richer man, goes to California with him, and then calls you because she wants money to come home, THEN you’re having a bad day!” *screeches out of parking lot*

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