(I’m in the back taking money and orders when a customer pulls up to my window.)
Customer: “I heard that your chicken sandwiches aren’t made of chicken. I heard they’re actually made of rooster.”
Me: “Excuse me?”
Customer: “Your chicken sandwiches aren’t made of chickens, but roosters, right?”
Me: “Roosters are chickens, sir.”
Customer: “No, they’re not!”
Me: “Yes, roosters are male chickens and hens are female chickens.”
Customer: “Oh, it’s like that human thing, too…boy and girl! I see…” *drives off without ordering anything*
(I’m eating a hamburger. I see the man next to me carefully picking a slab of cheese out of his burger, wrapping it in a paper napkin, and eating the rest of the burger. It puzzles me, so I ask him about it.)
Me: *point at napkin* “Excuse me, but why did you do that?”
Man: “Oh, every time I eat a burger, I set one ingredient aside. At the end of the week, I have a free burger!”
Customer: “I would like a number eight. That comes with a fruit punch, right?”
Me: “It comes with a large drink of your choice.”
Customer: “The sign shows fruit punch.”
Me: “Yes, but you can get what you want.”
Customer: “But the sign shows fruit punch!”
(I work at a fast food restaurant gives customers their meals for free if they have been waiting a long time. This particular day, I’ve been told to void the next couple of cars. One girl in her 20s pulls up while talking on the phone.)
Me: “Hello! I’m sorry for your wait. Your meal is on the house.”
Customer: “Oh, really?! That’s awesome!”
Me: “There’s your meal! Have a great day.”
Customer: *into her phone* “Dude, [restaurant] just gave me my food for free! Yeah, and it was like a six dollar meal!” *quietly so we can’t hear* “I might be pregnant, but this just makes up for it!”
Attack Of The Tax! Tax season may be over in the U.S., but what happens when you mix clueless customers and too-high taxes? A ca-tax-trophe, that’s what!
- War Can Be Taxing:
The Revolutionary War of 2012: Founding Fathers doing revolutions in their graves due to a brainless populace!
- Taxation With Agitation:
It’s like the Boston Tea Party…except in a gas station…in Tennessee…
- Bacon, Lettuce, and Taxes:
We know that fast food customers will eat anything, but we never knew taxes could be tasty!
- Taxing Customers:
However you add things up, this retail customer is minus a few brain cells.
- Fortunately, It’s Raining Pork Barrels And Earmarks:
Wonder where your tax dollars go? To humongous, lake-covering umbrellas, of course!
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PS #2: Read more roundups here!