Featured Story:
  • A Caffeinated Christmas Miracle
    (2,798 thumbs up)
  • A Nugget Of Truth Can Get You In Trouble

    , | KY, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Food & Drink

    (The fast food restaurant I work at has a bar right behind and our drive-thru stays open until 2 am. Like most fast food places, we cannot serve you in the drive-thru if you aren’t in a car.)

    Customer #1: *walks up and bangs on the drive-thru window* “Hey!”

    Me: “Yes?”

    Customer #1: “I want a cheeseburger and some fries. Oh and a shake.”

    Customer #2: “And nuggets, don’t forget nuggets!”

    Me: “Sir, I can’t serve you unless you are in a car.”

    Customer #1: “But I’ve been drinking.”

    Me: “I understand, but it’s not safe to have people in the drive-thru when they aren’t in their car.”

    Customer #1: “Okay.”

    (About 20 minutes later, they pull around very fast, passing the menu. I notice his unfinished beer is sitting between his knees.)

    Customer #1: “Okay. I want a cheeseburger–”

    Me: “Sir, do you realize that you are now drinking and driving and I can call the police?”

    (Customer #1 goes white and starts to drive away.)

    Customer #2: *as they pull away* “You forgot my nuggets!”

    Customers Are Going Gaga

    , | San Juan, Puerto Rico | At The Checkout, Money, Musical Mayhem, Top

    (I’m working the cash register. A male customer of about 40 comes by and places their order. He proceeds to give me his credit card.)

    Me: “May I see some ID, please?”

    (He stares at me for a moment then breaks out into song as he hands me the ID.)

    Customer: “Can’t read my, can’t read my, no you can’t read my pooooookeer faaaaaaace!”

    Willy Always Was A Bit Wonky

    , | Chicago, IL, USA | Food & Drink, Funny Names

    Me: “Hi, how are you today?”

    Customer: “Yes, I would like an oompa loompa.”

    Me: “Oompa loompa?”

    Customer: “Yes, one of those caramel apple oompa loompas!”

    Me: “Do you mean an empinada?”

    Customer: “That’s exactly what I said.”

    Fritzl Be One Of Those Days

    , | Morgantown, WV, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

    Me: “Hello sir, welcome to [fast food]. What would you like today?”

    Customer: *stares wide-eyed for a few moments* “Well, aren’t you the most adorable creature I have ever seen!”

    Me: “Thank you, sir. Can I interest you in our special today?”

    Customer: “I could just steal you and take you home in my wallet to live in my basement! My wife doesn’t like the basement, but it can be quite homey!”

    Me: “That’s nice, sir.”

    Customer: “Hurry! Into my wallet before anyone else decides to steal you!”

    Half A Brain And A Pound Foolish

    , | TN, USA | Food & Drink

    Me: “Would you like to try our new Texas Toast Bacon Cheese Thickburger?”
     
    Customer: “Nope. I want a… I’m not sure what it is called. But it has BBQ sauce, bacon, cheese and all that.”
     
    Me: “Okay, that is our Texas Toast Bacon Cheese Thickburger.”
     
    Customer: “Yeah, sure.”
     
    Me: “Okay, would you like to add fries and a drink for a combo?”
     
    Customer: “Nope, no combo.”
     
    Me: “Okay, would you like the quarter, third, or half pound for that?”
     
    Customer: “For what?”
     
    Me: “The size of the meat patty; you can get either the quarter, third, or half pound.”
     
    Customer: “I’m not stupid; I can read a sign. Is the half pound the biggest?”
     
    Me: “Yes, sir.”
     
    Customer: “So, the quarter-third is next size down?”
     
    Me: “No, sir. Those are two different sizes. The third is smaller than the half, but larger than the quarter. The quarter is smallest of all.”
     
    Customer: “Oh, okay. I will have the quarter-third.”

    (I contemplate for a moment, then ring him up for a third pound.)
     
    Me: “Okay, is that going to complete your order today?”
     
    Customer: “What about some fries and a coke?”

    Page 56/78First...5455565758...Last