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    Some Allergies Can Be Swept Under The Table

    , | Capitol Hill, Seattle, WA, USA |

    (At closing time I mop the back lobby, the area farthest from the door and counter. This is so we don’t have to do it after we close and can leave faster. There are two customers, a mother and her teenage son, in the back lobby.)

    Me: “Just to let you know, after I finish wiping all the unoccupied tables I’ll be sweeping and mopping the floor. If you’re still here by then, the floor will be a little slippery when you stand up. I just wanted to let you know to be careful.”

    Customer: “I have asthma, and a lot of allergies. If you sweep back here while I’m here, I’ll have an asthma attack. Can’t you do it after you close?”

    Me: *smiling* “I have to clean the area now, but I’ll start on the other side of the back lobby.”

    (I finish sweeping the other section of the back lobby. I avoid the corner in which she and her son are sitting.)

    Customer, to her son: “She didn’t even listen to me! I’m going outside!”

    Me: “Ma’am, are you going to be all right? There’s a hospital right across the street. I’m sure they’d be able to help you if you’re having an asthma attack.”

    Customer: “No! I’m going outside to smoke!”

    Anything You Order I Order Better

    , | Evans, GA, USA |

    Customer #1: “I’d like a house salad with fried chicken. That’s with ranch dressing.”

    Me: “Okay then.” *turns to customer 2* “And for you?”

    Customer #2: “I want the exact same thing!”

    Me: “Okay, two fried house salads.”

    Customer #2: “Oh! I wanted mine with grilled chicken.”

    Me: “Okay. So one grilled house and one fried house, both with ranch.”

    Customer #2: “No. I want blue cheese dressing.”

    Me: “Okay, so a fried house with ranch, and a grilled house with blue cheese. Is that all?”

    Customer #2: “Yup!”

    Me: “Alright, your total is going to be–”

    Customer #2: “Oh! No cheese! I don’t like cheese.”

    (I’ve already sent the order to the kitchen. I excuse myself to go let them know. I come back and take their money.)

    Customer #2, to customer #1: “Isn’t it so much easier when we order the exact same thing?”

    Customer Vs Cook: The Heat Is On

    , | Atlanta, GA, USA |

    Customer: “Hey! This burger is too damn hot!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but it will cool down over time. Just wait a little while.”

    Customer: “I want to eat it now! Why the h*** would you make it too hot to eat? Make me another one and don’t make it so hot this time!”

    (He slams his burger down on the counter and stomps away. I don’t touch it, as I have to take care of the next couple of customers. A moment later, I call out to the customer.)

    Me: “Sir, your burger is ready.”

    (The customer comes back up, picks up the burger that hasn’t been moved since he put it down, and takes a bite.)

    Customer: “There we go, much better. Don’t make them so d*** hot anymore. This one’s great!”

    A Nugget Of Truth Can Get You In Trouble

    , | KY, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Food & Drink

    (The fast food restaurant I work at has a bar right behind and our drive-thru stays open until 2 am. Like most fast food places, we cannot serve you in the drive-thru if you aren’t in a car.)

    Customer #1: *walks up and bangs on the drive-thru window* “Hey!”

    Me: “Yes?”

    Customer #1: “I want a cheeseburger and some fries. Oh and a shake.”

    Customer #2: “And nuggets, don’t forget nuggets!”

    Me: “Sir, I can’t serve you unless you are in a car.”

    Customer #1: “But I’ve been drinking.”

    Me: “I understand, but it’s not safe to have people in the drive-thru when they aren’t in their car.”

    Customer #1: “Okay.”

    (About 20 minutes later, they pull around very fast, passing the menu. I notice his unfinished beer is sitting between his knees.)

    Customer #1: “Okay. I want a cheeseburger–”

    Me: “Sir, do you realize that you are now drinking and driving and I can call the police?”

    (Customer #1 goes white and starts to drive away.)

    Customer #2: *as they pull away* “You forgot my nuggets!”

    Customers Are Going Gaga

    , | San Juan, Puerto Rico | At The Checkout, Money, Musical Mayhem, Top

    (I’m working the cash register. A male customer of about 40 comes by and places their order. He proceeds to give me his credit card.)

    Me: “May I see some ID, please?”

    (He stares at me for a moment then breaks out into song as he hands me the ID.)

    Customer: “Can’t read my, can’t read my, no you can’t read my pooooookeer faaaaaaace!”

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