• Retract The Tract
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  • July Theme Of The Month: Great Timing!

    Teachers Make A Difference

    , | Sydney, Australia | Math & Science

    (I’m working in the drive-thru, and am taking customer’s orders and their money. His daughter is sitting in the passenger’s seat.)

    Me: “So, that’ll be $28.10. Thanks!”

    (The customer hands me $50.10.)

    Customer: “So, how much change do I get?”

    Me: “$22.”

    Customer: “You cheated! That was an easy one! Sorry, I’m a maths teacher.”

    Me: *laughs* “Oh, that’s alright. But it’s the school holidays!”

    Customer: “Maths doesn’t take holidays!”

    Me: “You’re right. Well, enjoy the rest of your holidays!”

    Customer’s Daughter: *looks very embarrassed* “Sorry, he does this everywhere we go!”

    This Sauce Has A Bite To It

    , | Maryland, USA | Food & Drink, Language & Words

    Me: “Would you like any sauces or ketchup, sir?”

    Customer: “Yea, I’ll take some of that Pomeranian Sauce.”

    Me: “Pardon?”

    Customer: “Pomeranian Sauce!”

    Me: “Uh… you mean Polynesian Sauce?”

    Customer: “Oh! Yeah, that’s it!”

    Would You Like Your Scam For Here Or To Go

    , | Missouri, USA | Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers

    (It is not very busy, but we are short-staffed so everyone is working hard. My manager helps me bag a particularly big order.)

    Me: “Okay, ma’am, I believe my manager and I got all of your food. But, just in case, let me go over your receipt again.”

    Customer: “Okay.”

    (We go over the receipt together and find everything is correct.)

    Customer: “Thank you, dear.”

    Me: “You are very welcome, ma’am!”

    Manager: “Did you go over her order again before you let her leave?”

    Me: “Yes!”

    (Five minutes later a man walks in brandishing a receipt and yelling.)

    Man: “You idiots messed up my order!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. Can I help you?”

    Man: “Yeah, I came through drive-thru and didn’t get half of my order!”

    (I look over the receipt and see it is from the previous customer that I just helped.)

    Me: “Sir, I don’t think this is your order. I packed this order a few minutes ago, and it was for a lady on counter.”

    Man: “How dare you accuse me of lying! I want to talk to your manager!”

    Me: “Fine.”

    (The manager proceeds to tell him the same thing, but he won’t stop screaming at her. Eventually, he demands to see the store manager.)

    Store Manager: “What seems to be the problem, sir?”

    Man: “Look, I came through the drive-thru. This is my receipt, but your stupid employees won’t give me my food!”

    Store Manager: “Well, sir, I am certain this is not your receipt.”

    Man: “Oh yeah? Prove it!”

    Store Manager: “Well, the top of the receipt says the order was taken from the register at the counter, which means it could not have been for a drive-thru order. And, according to the receipt, this was ‘Katie’s’ order. You don’t look like a ‘Katie.'”

    Man: *thinks for a minute, then leaves defeated*

    I’ll Have My Pride To-Go

    , | TN, USA | Food & Drink

    Me: “Hello, welcome to [fast food restaurant]. What can I get for you tonight?”

    Customer: “Hello?”

    Me: “Yes, sir, what would you like?”

    Customer: “Cheeseburger.”

    Me: “Okay. Would you like mayonnaise, mustard, or ketchup on that?”

    Customer: “Yeah.”

    Me: “So, all three on the burger?”

    Customer: “NO, D*** IT! JUST ONE CHEESEBURGER!”

    Me: “Yes sir, but would you like mayonnaise, mustard, or ketchup on the cheeseburger?”

    Customer: *silence*

    Me: “Are you still there?”

    Customer: “I want a Coke!”

    Me: *regretting my life choices*

    You Just Got Schooled

    , | Chicago, IL, USA | School

    (This happens to a coworker after having an issue with an order.)

    Customer: “That took long enough. This is why you should have gone to college!”

    Coworker: “I’m only 16.”

    Customer: “Well, you shouldn’t have dropped out, then!”

    Coworker: “I didn’t. I’m still in school.”

    Customer: “I… uh… have a nice day.” *leaves embarrassed*

    Gettin’ Schooled, Kindergarten Style
    Pantzilla Gets Schooled

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