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    Receipt Cheat

    , | TX, USA |

    Customer: “I thought that your tacos were 79 cents today.”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am, they are. If you’ll look at the bottom of your receipt, it’ll show you that the price was discounted.”

    Customer: “But it says $1.09 here, not 70 cents. You did this wrong.”

    Me: “Ma’am, if you’ll notice the bottom of the receipt, it has a negative amount. That means that much was taken off of the price of tacos.”

    (The customer looks lower on the receipt and becomes indignant.)

    Customer: “What? I don’t owe you 90 cents!”

    Me: “No, ma’am, you don’t. That just says that’s how much was taken off the tacos to make them 79 cents.”

    Customer: “But you charged me $1.09. It clearly says that your tacos today are 79 cents.”

    Me: “Ma’am, can I see your receipt?”

    (I take the receipt, and use a pen to mark out the price and put in $0.79 on it.)

    Customer: “Oh! That looks better. Thanks so much.”

    (She happily takes her food and leaves.)

    Giving Orders Vs. Just Ordering

    , | Watervliet, NY, USA |

    Me: “Can I take your order?”

    Customer: “HOT DOG!”

    (Pause.)

    Customer: “PLAIN!”

    (Pause.)

    Customer: “MILKSHAKE!”

    (Pause.)

    Customer: “STRAWBERRY!”

    (Pause.)

    Me: “What size milkshake would you like?”

    Customer: “STRAWBERRY!”

    (I just gave her a medium.)

    How You Know You’ve Been Working Too Long

    , | London, UK | Top

    (The customer is apparently employed at another branch of the same fast food chain.)

    Customer: “I’d like a [burger] meal with lemonade, please.”

    Me: “That’s one [burger] meal with lemonade?”

    Customer: “Would you like to go large with that?”

    Me: “What?”

    Customer: “Oh! I mean, yes. Thank you.”

    Some Allergies Can Be Swept Under The Table

    , | Capitol Hill, Seattle, WA, USA |

    (At closing time I mop the back lobby, the area farthest from the door and counter. This is so we don’t have to do it after we close and can leave faster. There are two customers, a mother and her teenage son, in the back lobby.)

    Me: “Just to let you know, after I finish wiping all the unoccupied tables I’ll be sweeping and mopping the floor. If you’re still here by then, the floor will be a little slippery when you stand up. I just wanted to let you know to be careful.”

    Customer: “I have asthma, and a lot of allergies. If you sweep back here while I’m here, I’ll have an asthma attack. Can’t you do it after you close?”

    Me: *smiling* “I have to clean the area now, but I’ll start on the other side of the back lobby.”

    (I finish sweeping the other section of the back lobby. I avoid the corner in which she and her son are sitting.)

    Customer, to her son: “She didn’t even listen to me! I’m going outside!”

    Me: “Ma’am, are you going to be all right? There’s a hospital right across the street. I’m sure they’d be able to help you if you’re having an asthma attack.”

    Customer: “No! I’m going outside to smoke!”

    Anything You Order I Order Better

    , | Evans, GA, USA |

    Customer #1: “I’d like a house salad with fried chicken. That’s with ranch dressing.”

    Me: “Okay then.” *turns to customer 2* “And for you?”

    Customer #2: “I want the exact same thing!”

    Me: “Okay, two fried house salads.”

    Customer #2: “Oh! I wanted mine with grilled chicken.”

    Me: “Okay. So one grilled house and one fried house, both with ranch.”

    Customer #2: “No. I want blue cheese dressing.”

    Me: “Okay, so a fried house with ranch, and a grilled house with blue cheese. Is that all?”

    Customer #2: “Yup!”

    Me: “Alright, your total is going to be–”

    Customer #2: “Oh! No cheese! I don’t like cheese.”

    (I’ve already sent the order to the kitchen. I excuse myself to go let them know. I come back and take their money.)

    Customer #2, to customer #1: “Isn’t it so much easier when we order the exact same thing?”

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