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    The Lost And Eaten

    , | Kansas City, MO, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (Sometimes, customers call the store when their order is wrong. This one was a little bit more special.)

    Manager: “How can I help you today?”

    Customer: “I didn’t get my food!”

    Manager: “What do you mean?”

    Customer: “When I came through the drive-thru, I got my food. But when I got home it was gone!”

    Manager: “Let me get this straight. You got your food at the window?”

    Customer: “Yes!”

    Manager: “And it was in your car when you left?”

    Customer: “Yes!”

    Manager: “And it was gone when you got home?”

    Customer: “It wasn’t there anymore.”

    Manager: “So between here and home, you lost your food? How do you expect us to fix it?”

    Customer: *hangs up*

    Dripular Reasoning

    , | Kennebunk, ME, USA |

    (I live in a relatively small town and have lived there all my life. Needless to say, I know the place inside out and walk through downtown to get to work pretty much every day.)

    Tourist: “Excuse me, do you know where the nearest Starbucks is?”

    Me: “Of course, if you go–”

    Older Man: “Yes it’s downtown right before the bridge detour you can’t miss it!”

    Me: “Sir, I believe that’s [coffee shop], not Starbucks.”

    Older Man: “No, it’s Starbucks!”

    Me: “Sir, that’s [coffee shop]. There’s never been a Starbucks there.”

    Older Man: “No, you’re wrong! When exactly did it become [coffee shop]?! Hmm?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but it’s been [coffee shop] for about two years now.”

    Older Man: “Well, unless Starbucks left and changed the name overnight, you’re wrong!”

    Me: “It didn’t. It’s–”

    Older Man: “Right! So it’s Starbucks and you’re wrong!”

    And The Thigh Bone’s Connected To The

    , | Newport, UK |

    Customer: “I’ll have two wings, one breast, and one side-breast.”

    Cashier: “Side-breast?”

    Customer: “Yes, side-breast…” *repeats order*

    Cashier: “What’s that?”

    Customer: “Well, you have the breast, which is the front of the chicken, and the side-breast, which is half of the breast.”

    Cashier: “Well, we don’t do that. We have thighs, legs, wings, ribs, and breast.”

    Customer: “No, you have side-breast! I always have side-breast! There it is–those ones there!”

    (The customer points to a pile in one of the heating units.)

    Cashier: “Oh, you mean rib!”

    Customer: “Yes, side-breast!”

    Will That Be Paper Or Plastic

    , | Kildare, Ireland | Food & Drink, Money

    Customer: “Can I get a cheeseburger and a bottle of water?”

    Me: “Yes, that’s $3.70, please.”

    (The customer holds out five napkins and starts counting them. He then hands them to me as payment.)

    Me: “Sorry, do you have $3.70?”

    Customer: *points at napkins* “Yea, there! Look!”

    Me: “Those are not money. Do you have any money to pay?”

    Customer: “Yeah! I’m paying with napkins!”

    Coworker: “Sorry, we only take money…”

    (Eventually, security had to come and him (and his napkins) away from the tills.)

    The Secret Is In The Sauce

    , | Baltimore, MD, USA | Food & Drink

    (We moved to America because my dad’s work was transported to a new port. He is very bad with English, so many hilarious moments ensued when he buys food. At the moment, this fast food restaurant is heavily marketing one of its burgers. My dad decides he wants to try one.)

    Cashier: “Hello, how may I help you today?”

    Dad: “Yes, I would like the Big and Nasty Burger, please!”

    Cashier: “Excuse me?”

    Dad: “The Big and Nasty Burger!”

    Cashier: “Um, do you mean the Big and Tasty Burger, sir?”

    Dad: “Yes, that’s what I said! The Big and Nasty!”

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