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  • October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

    Word Choice Makes An Explosion Of Difference

    | USA | Food & Drink, Language & Words

    (For a special holiday event hosted by a local organization our fast food restaurant gives them coupons for small ice cream cones to give to children as prizes. We are open the same day and the event lasts all day long. Our poor old ice cream machine quickly overheats and starts gushing liquid ice cream all over the floor.)

    Customer #1: *screaming so loud i can hear her through my coworkers headset* “What do you mean we can’t get ice cream? Why do you think we came here in the first place?!”

    Coworker: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but the ice cream machine is currently down and—”

    Customer #1: “Of course it is! You know what? F*** YOU!”

    (The customer drives off, pissed. Just like most of our other customers for that day.)

    Me: “You look frazzled. Give me the headset for a while.”

    Coworker: “Oh, God, thank you!”

    Me: “Thank you for choosing [Restaurant]. How can I help you?”

    Customer #2: “Yeah, we got these coupons for free ice cream cones. Can we get that?”

    Me: “I’d love to make those for you! …except our ice cream machine exploded earlier today.”

    Customer #2: “Oh, My God! Is everyone okay?”

    Me: “Yes, no one was hurt but it did make quite a mess. Someone’s coming out to look at it tomorrow but it probably won’t be fixed until Monday.”

    Customer #2: “Okay, we’ll just hold onto our coupons then. Let’s just get [order].”

    Me: “Yes, sir, your total is [total] at the first window.” *turning to my coworker* “I think I just accidentally discovered something…”

    (Every time someone asked for ice cream for the rest of the day, we told them the ice cream machine exploded and suddenly no one was screaming at us anymore because we were unable to make cones. Word choice is important!)

    You’re Bean Unreasonable

    | KY, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I work drive-thru in a Mexican restaurant.)

    Me: “Hi, how are you today?”

    Customer: “I want a burrito; I’m a vegetarian.”

    Me: “Well, we have a vegetarian burrito that would be perfect.”

    Customer: “What’s in it?”

    Me: “It has beans—”

    Customer: “NO! I don’t eat beans. They’re cooked in animal juices. Don’t you know anything about vegetarians?!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, our beans are just made with spices and water; no animal juices.”

    Customer: “Oh, my god, never mind. If you don’t want to co-operate I’m just gonna go to McDonald’s!”

    You Are Not In The House Of Cards

    , | Olympia, WA, USA | Food & Drink, Money

    (I work in the food court of a warehouse store. We have signs that clearly say ‘cash or check only’ above the registers. Someone comes up and orders their food.)

    Me: “All right, let me get that for you!”

    Customer: *attempts to hand me a card*

    Me: “I’m sorry, but we only take cash or check on these registers.”

    Customer: “What? Since when?”

    Me: “I don’t think we have ever taken cards because we don’t have a card reader.”

    Customer: “Well, why not? It would make life so much easier!”

    Me: “They charge us every time the card reader is swiped, and since we make very little profit on our food, we would have to raise the price.”

    Customer: “Well then, raise it! I don’t see why people would get so upset!”

    Me: *gets food* “All right, that will be $1.63.”

    Customer: “WHAT? It’s $1.50 up on the board.”

    Me: “There is tax on it.”

    Customer: *grumbles about ‘raising prices on food being ridiculous’ as he hands over the money and stomps off*

    Thanks No-Name!

    | QLD, Australia | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Funny Names

    (I work in fast food, and at our store we have a number of questions we need to ask customers.)

    Me: “So that was a medium fries and a wrap. Would you like to upsize the fries for 50c?”

    Customer: “No.”

    Me: “…and did you want to make that a meal?”

    Customer: “No.”

    Me: “Did you have your loyalty card on you today?”

    Customer: “No.”

    Me: “Would you like to start one?”

    Customer: “No.”

    Me: “And can I grab your name for the order?”

    Customer: “No. Oh! Sorry. Paul.”

    Don’t Listen And Lose Out

    | Canton, CT, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I am working the drive-through on a late-night shift with one other manager. It’s slow, but we do get a few customers. A customer pulls up to the drive-through.)

    Customer: “Hello? I’d like two [Sandwich], please, but I don’t see them on the menu.”

    Manager: “Sorry about that, sir; they recently changed the name of the [Sandwich], which is probably why you didn’t see it. We still have it, it’s just called the [New Sandwich] now.”

    Customer: “Oh, shoot, that’s a shame. I’ll have two [Chicken Sandwich] instead, then.”

    (My manager and I share a look, and I chime in, thinking he may have misheard my manager.)

    Me: “We still have the [Sandwich], sir. It has just been renamed. Same bun, same toppings, same everything, just a new name.”

    Customer: “Oooooh. Darn, that’s a real shame. Guess I have to have two [Chicken Sandwich] instead, then?”

    (My manager shakes his head and puts the sandwiches through, and the customer takes them and drives off.)

    Manager: “You know, that would have been funny if he hadn’t been through here the last two nights, and had the exact same problem.”

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