November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Still Got Meat Between Their Ears

, | Adelaide, SA, Australia | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Money

(I’m taking drive-thru orders over the speaker box. This particular fast-food chain is known for making burgers “your way” – adding or removing condiments, no matter what the request. Condiments such as lettuce and tomato are free within reason, but some customers try to get away with ordering a plain burger, and then requesting all of the condiments be added, assuming they will get a burger with everything for the price of a plain one.)

Me: “Hi, welcome to [Fast Food Restaurant]. Place your order when you’re ready, please.”

Customer: “I’ll have a hamburger, please.”

Me: “Sure thing; one hamburger is $1.10. Is there anything e-”

Customer: *”On the hamburger, I’d like cheese, lettuce, tomato, onion, and mayonnaise.”

Me: “No worries. That’s one Junior [Brand-name] burger with cheese. That’s $2.85; is there anything else?”

Customer: “… Oh, uh, I’ve changed my mind. How much is a five inch bun on its own?”

Me: “60c.”

Customer: “I’ll get a five inch bun, with sauce, mayo, lettuce, tomato, onion, and cheese.”

Me: “Sure thing. So, that’s a [full-priced burger] minus the meat. That’ll be $3.85… Drive through, please.”

Customer: “D*** IT! You guys are meant to be stupid high-school drop-outs that are easy to fool. Just give me the burger with the meat on it then, thanks.”

Shake Up The Calorie Count

| Perth, WA, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(Our shake/sundae machine is down for cleaning and boy, did that create a lot of unhappy customers.)

Customer: “I’d like a chicken burger meal with a chocolate shake, please.”

Me: “Sorry, our shake machine is down for maintenance at the moment. Would you like to try a chocolate frappe instead?”

Customer: “What’s in that?”

Me: “Blended ice, chocolate, and whipped cream on top. It’s—”

Customer: “Oh, no, that’d have way too much sugar and fat. I’ll have a [Soda] instead.”

Me: “…Okay, then.”

(Frappes have a lower calorie count than both shakes AND [Soda]. I just… sigh.)

Must Feel Like A Real Dingleberry

| USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(Our fruit flavors for our milkshakes are described as “real fruit shakes” on our menu.)

Customer: *smugly* “Real fruit shakes, huh? Tell me, can you even make a ‘fake’ fruit shake?”

Coworker: “Sure you can, if you use artificial flavorings.”

Customer: “Oh, yeah? Then what makes your shakes ‘real’?”

Coworker: *holds up our actual strawberries* “This is actual fruit. Anything else for you, sir?”

(He furrowed his brow and paid.)

Lobbying For You To Leave On Time

| TN, USA | Awesome Customers

(It’s 10 minutes before closing time and I’m sick and tired when a group of 10 teenagers walk in and order dinner. After making their food, the other employees go outside to wait until they leave so we can close the store but I stay in the back to finish up cleaning so we can leave sooner.)

Kid: *knocks on kitchen door* “Hi, do you have a mop back here?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Kid: “We’re done eating and you guys are about to close so we’re cleaning up the lobby for you guys before we have to leave.”

Me: *smiling ear to ear and near tears* “You guys don’t have to do that. I’ll get it after you all leave.”

Kid: “It’s fine, ma’am. It’s the least we can do since you guys stayed open to cook for us, and now you can go outside with your friends and relax some.”

Taste Of Your Own Fast Acting Medicine

| NC, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Language & Words

Customer: “I want a number-one-medium-with-a-coke-and-a-large-frosty-with-a-kids-meal-chicken-nuggets-and-apple-slices-and-orange-juice—”

Me: “M—”

Customer: “—also-a-number-seven-with-a-diet-coke-large-and-an-apple-salad.”

(Fortunately I am able to type all of that in and keep up with her despite that and speak it back to her just as fast as she had said it.)

Me: Okay…so you want a number-one-medium-with-a-coke-and-a-large-frosty-with-a-kids-meal-chicken-nuggets-and-apple-slices-and-orange-juicealso-a-number-seven-with-a-diet-coke-large-and-an-apple-salad?”

Customer: “Wait… what?”