Me: *holding a bag out the window* “Dave! Bacon cheeseburger and regular fries!”
Customer: *comes up and grabs the bag* “Thanks!”
Me: “Hey, I just took your order like a minute ago. Didn’t you get an ice cream cone?”
Customer: “Yeah, thanks.”
Me: “That’s not an ice cream cone; it’s a bacon cheeseburger and regular fries. Is your name Dave?”
Customer: “No!” *hands back the bag* “Where’s my cone?!”
To Whom This May (Not) Concern
Prank You Very Much! Happy April Fools’ Day, readers! This week, we share five stories that show the foolish hazards of pulling a fast one!
- Impractical Jokes:
Guys, take note: a fake stabbing to freak out your wife might result in a real stabbing—by your wife!
- Bohemian Nobody:
Customer, oo-oo-oo-ooh // Didn’t mean to make you cry // If you’re not back again this time tomorrow // Go away, go away // Your pranks don’t really matter…
- Prankin’ Like It’s 1929:
This elderly caller’s prank is probably older than your grandparents, but he proves laughter IS the best medicine—especially when it’s at your expense!
- Your Prank Got Spanked, Part 2:
A caller learns the hard way that if you’re gonna prank an employee, at least be original!
- Morbid Curiosity Killed The Cat:
Note to prank callers: your cat is NOT a get-out-of-jail-free card!
PS: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!
(A man approaches the counter.)
Me: “Hello, sir, what can I get for you today?”
Customer: “Yes, I was wondering what days you guys are closed.”
Me: “We’re open everyday.”
Customer: “Yes, but which days aren’t you open?”
Me: “None. We are open every day.”
Customer: *irritated* “Are you deaf? Which days AREN’T you open?”
Me: “Sir, we are open on days that end with the letter Y.”
Customer: “Right! So you’re open 4 days a week! Why didn’t you just say that?”
(I work late at night at a well-known fast food chain. We often get customers who are a little bit under the influence at night.)
Me: “That comes to $23.95, thanks.”
(The customer goes through his wallet and pockets and comes up about $5 short.)
Customer: “Do you want to buy some weed off me so I can pay for this order?”
(I’m working the breakfast shift when a man comes in with his children who look about 5 or 6. He orders a large amount of food.)
Customer: “And can I get…four hash browns with that?”
(I type in the total and show it to him.)
Customer: “What? $4.80? Are you kidding?”
Me: “That’s how much it is.”
Customer: “No way! That’s too expensive! I can’t justify that. Get rid of them!”
(I cancel the last item while the customer continues ranting.)
Customer: “It’s also the fact that they’re just hot oil! I can’t give my kids that poison!”
Customer: “This whole place is poison! All of it! You know the cancer charities you guys set up? Your food is causing the cancer that those kids are dying from!”
Customer: “You’re poisoning people! Poisoning my kids! Working here, you kill more people a year than smoking!”
Customer: *mimicking me* “‘Really?’ Why don’t you do some bloody research before you start a job, girl?!”
Customer: “This whole place is evil! You should have a freaking skull and crossbones out the front! I can’t justify buying hash browns and poisoning my kids!” *leaves with his kids and his food, minus the evil hash browns*