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    User Error, User Fate

    , | Kansas, USA | Food & Drink

    (I am working a very busy drive-thru. A 20-something year old woman has requested a very complicated ice cream order: a small milkshake, made with vanilla ice cream with caramel, hot fudge, peanuts, and snickers on top, unblended, in a medium cup. It takes me a minute to figure out how to enter this in the computer. By the time the woman has paid, her ice cream has been made correctly, but in the normal small cup.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, it looks like this has already been made in the small cup. Is that okay?”

    Customer: “No, I specifically asked for a medium so it won’t spill.”

    Me: “Well, I can put a lid on it. Will that work?”

    Customer: “No, I have to eat it now. Can you just dump it into a medium cup?”

    Me: “I can scrape it into a bigger cup, but the toppings won’t be on top anymore.”

    Customer: “Why not?”

    (Searching for something to satisfy her, I find a cup sleeve that adds extra room to the top and fit it into her ice cream cup.)

    Customer: “Will it spill?”

    Me: “Well, it’s a removable sleeve. But if you keep it in there, the ice cream won’t spill.”

    Customer: “But I have to eat it right now. Are you sure it won’t spill?”

    Me: “If you spill it, ma’am, it will spill.”

    Ice And A Side Of Chill Pill

    , | UK | Food & Drink, Top

    (Note: I am working in a drive thru.)

    Me: “Hello, can I take your order?”

    (I hear the customer sigh. They then carry on talking to a friend.)

    Me: “Hello, can I take an order please?”

    Customer: “God! One minute please! Can’t a person just have some peace without being pestered for money?”

    Me: “Um, sir, you’ve driven up to the drive thru speaker. I assumed you’d wish to order. If not, you should have gone into the car park.”

    Customer: “You’re being extremely rude. And how did you know I was a man?”

    Me: “There is a camera facing you, sir. I didn’t mean to come across as rude, but you are causing a queue, so if you do not plan to order, please leave the queue.”

    Customer: *sigh* “Fine.”

    (He gives an incredibly long order, with special requests. I read the order back to him to verify that it is correct.)

    Me: “Okay, if that order is complete, check the screen and come to the window.”

    Customer: “God, what took you so long?! *throws change on the counter and drives off*

    (Ten minutes later, he comes back.)

    Customer: “I am not happy!”

    Me: “What’s the problem with your order, si–”

    Customer: “I specifically asked for coke with no ice, and you put it in wrong! Guess what? There’s ice in my coke!”

    Me: “Sir, I read the order back to you twice and then asked you to check the screen to ensure it was correct.”

    Customer: “Well you serve people everyday. You should have been able to guess from experience that I didn’t want ice. My demeanor made it very obvious!”

    The Count Would Be Proud

    , | Eugene, OR, USA | Top

    (A customer bursts into the store and slams a bag of food onto the counter and immediately starts yelling.)

    Customer: “I ordered six hamburgers and I only got…”

    (The customer starts pulling the burgers out one by one counting them loudly for the whole store to hear.)

    Customer: “ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! FIVE!”

    (Her face turns bright red as she realizes her error.)

    Customer: “…six.”

    (The customer quickly throws the burgers back into the bag and runs out of the store.)

    Can’t Spell Without Without With

    , | Winnipeg, MB, Canada | Food & Drink

    (A customer pulls up in our drive thru. Note that our bacon cheeseburger is made exactly the same as our cheeseburger, except for the bacon. The bacon cheeseburger is also more expensive.)

    Me: “Hi there, what can I get for you today?”

    Customer: “Hi, I’d like a bacon cheeseburger with no bacon. Just mayonnaise and ketchup.”

    Me: “Okay, so a cheeseburger with only mayo and ketchup.”

    Customer: “No, a bacon cheeseburger with no bacon, and only mayonnaise and ketchup.”

    Me: “Well, our cheeseburger is made exactly the way we make our bacon cheeseburger, except it has bacon on it and it costs more. So a bacon cheeseburger with no bacon is a cheeseburger.”

    Customer: “NO! You don’t understand! I want a BACON CHEESEBURGER, with NO BACON, just mayonnaise and ketchup!”

    Me: “I understand ma’am, but if I charge you for a bacon cheeseburger with no bacon, it’s more expensive than buying a cheeseburger, which is the same thing.”

    Customer: “I DON’T CARE! I want a bacon cheeseburger with NO BACON! Just mayonnaise and ketchup!”

    Me: “All right then.” *charges her for a bacon cheeseburger with no bacon* “That will be $*.** at the first window.”

    (The customer comes up to the window and reads her receipt, looking satisfied.)

    Customer: “Now, was that so hard?”

    Vulgar Verbage

    , | Colchester, CT, USA | Rude & Risque

    (I am making casual conversation with a pleasant customer, who is however, somewhat odd. At some point, a coworker of mine joins the conversation.)

    Customer: “Hey, those shirts look kinda tight on you guys.”

    Me: “Yeah, the green sizes run smaller than the blue ones, I think.”

    (The customer points to my coworker.)

    Customer: “Yeah, her shirt is like, vagina-ing open on her chest.”

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