This was back when I worked at [Fast Food Chain]. It was my first job, and I was three or four months into working there. I was the lady taking orders in the lobby.

It was late morning — about 11:30 ish.

Customer: “I’d like a small hot coffee with ten creams and eleven sugars.”

The way [Fast Food Chain] makes their hot coffees, we select the amount of we you need, it dispenses cold cream into the cup for us, and then we add the coffee and sugar.

Let me remind you that a small [Fast Food Chain] hot coffee is rather small. Ten creams already fill the cup halfway, so any hot coffee that gets added after immediately cools down.

I made the customer’s coffee as he asked and handed it to him.

Customer: *Takes a sip* “This coffee isn’t hot.”

Me: “That’s because of all the cream you wanted, sir.”

Customer: “No, you have to remake it. Make it hotter!”

Me: “Sir, no matter how many times I make it, with how much cream you asked for, it’s unreasonable to expect the coffee to stay hot. Our creamer is cold, so it cools the coffee when we mix the two.”

He wasn’t having it, so I got a manager, who told him the exact same thing. After the third cup we made, he begrudgingly took it and left.

Related:
Thermodynamics, You Take It From Here, Part 14
Thermodynamics, You Take It From Here, Part 13
Thermodynamics, You Take It From Here, Part 12
Thermodynamics, You Take It From Here, Part 11
Thermodynamics, You Take It From Here, Part 10

I’m working in a fast food place. It’s so busy we have lines ten people deep at each of the four tills. A customer orders a burger, goes to sit down, and then comes back to the counter.

Customer: “My burger is undercooked and raw in the middle. I want a refund.”

He says this loudly so that everyone can hear him. The shift manager for the day comes to address his concern, and since it’s at my till, I get to see the burger as the box is opened.

It hasn’t been touched. It looks exactly like it did when it was boxed up and given to him. No bite has been taken. There’s not a sesame seed out of place.

My manager takes the burger calmly, rips it in half in front of him, and says in the sweetest, yet sarcastic tone possible:

Manager: “It looks perfectly cooked to me, sir. I’ll get you another burger.”

I still don’t know what his objective was. Did he think we’d refund him and let him keep the raw burger?

I work at a fast-food Mexican place. Two customers come in, and one orders a few items that are quite cheese-heavy.

Customer’s Friend: “Wait, aren’t you, like, super lactose-intolerant?”

Customer: “Sadly, yes.”

Customer’s Friend: “And you’re ordering this much dairy?”

Customer: “When you’ve lived with lactose intolerance as long as I have, you learn that some foods are just worth whatever comes next.”

Me: *Not getting involved* “That’ll be $12.99, please.”

Customer: “Thank you. Side question: would you say the flush strength in your customer toilets is quite high?”

Related:
This Cannot End Well, Part 4
This Cannot End Well, Part 3
This Cannot End Well, Part 2
This Cannot End Well

This story is part of our Customer Situations That Will NOT End Well roundup!

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My son and I stop at a mostly-empty fast food place one morning to get food. He orders, and then it’s my turn. 

Me: “May I have a number nine, medium, with no meat, please?”

Cashier: “Ham, bacon, or sausage?”

Me: “No meat.”

Cashier: “Small, medium, or large?”

Me: “Medium.”

I’m thinking, “Seriously?”

She tells me the total and I pay it with my card. The machine asks if I want to leave a tip, and I hit the “no” button. 

Cashier: “I think you hit the wrong button by mistake. Do you want me to fix that?”

Me: “No. I didn’t. I’m good. May I have our drink cups, please?”

I’m a manager at a fast food restaurant. A woman came through our drive-thru, and then she called us, screaming.

Customer: “My order was wrong! I need to talk to—” *read: yell at* “—the person who was at the window!”

Me: “They’re busy right now.”

Customer: “They can get their fat a** off the window and come talk to me!”

I hung up on her. She called back repeatedly saying the same sort of thing. On the third or fourth call, I informed her:

Me: “Ma’am, if you keep being disrespectful to my employees, I’m going to keep hanging up on you.”

And I did exactly that. It was hilarious.

And the best part? I started declining her number instead of picking up the phone. She kept our phone ringing for forty-five minutes — maybe eighty or so calls.