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    Screaming Until They’re Blue In The Face

    , | AB, Canada | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (It’s about 6:45 on a slow-ish night working in fast food. We’re selling a popular promotional burger which includes blue cheese. Suddenly, I see a red faced customer storming towards the door, obviously furious. As store policy, I find the nearest supervisor to deal with an obviously irate customer. I hide in the mug room to watch.)

    Supervisor: “Hi. Welcome to…”

    Customer: “ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME?”

    Supervisor: “No ma’am. What seems to be—”

    Customer: *pulls half eaten blue cheese burger out of bag* “HOW DARE YOU FEED YOUR CUSTOMERS THIS! THIS BLUE CHEESE IS EXPIRED AND MOLDY!”

    (At this point I can hear laughter from the kitchen, who can hear every word.)

    Supervisor: “Ma’am, this is a blue cheese burger. Perhaps you were given it by mist—”

    Customer: “I KNOW WHAT A D*** BLUE CHEESE BURGER IS!”

    Supervisor: “Then you understand that it is an aged cheese, where this ‘mold’ is normal. I will happily return your money to you if you wish, however.”

    Customer: “HOW DARE YOU LIE TO ME! I’VE EATEN BLUE CHEESE ALL MY LIFE AND I HAVE NEVER ENCOUNTERED MOLD!”

    (My supervisor, obviously getting annoyed, gives the customer her refund.)

    Supervisor: “Here is your refund. However, if you can find me blue cheese in the local supermarket that doesn’t have or taste ‘moldy,’ I will gladly give you every cent I have in this cash register.”

    (I see the customer’s eyes gleam right before she storms out. She never does come back. )

    Supervisor: *to me* “Go write ‘customer found mold in their blue cheese’ in the complaint book.”

    Good Customer Service Is Saving The Girl

    , | ON, Canada | Awesome Workers, Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Top

    (I am working the cash register at a fast food restaurant when a girl no older than 15 comes up to order.)

    Girl #1: “I’ll have a number three with a [Soda], please.”

    Me: “Sure. Will that be everything?”

    Girl #1: “Umm… no, actually. I think I was followed here. If you see some girls come in and bother me, can you ask them to leave?”

    Me: “I’ll see what I can do.”

    (The girl takes her food over to the only table where she can be easily seen by all of the front counter staff, and she takes out some homework. Less than five minutes later, three girls come in, go straight to Girl #1′s table, and start talking to her. In the 30 seconds it takes to ask my manager for permission to kick the group out, Girl #1 has started crying.)

    Me: *to the group* “You guys are harassing this girl. I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

    Girl #2: “It’s okay. We know her.”

    Me: “No, it’s not okay. You can’t be harassing paying customers.”

    Girl #2: “We can buy something. We’ll be paying customers, too.”

    Me: “Too late. I won’t just stand back and watch while you harass this girl. If you don’t leave right now, security will be called and you’ll be banned from the property.”

    (As our restaurant was located in a mall parking lot, being banned from the property also meant being banned from the mall, so they left pretty quickly with no more argument. Since Girl #1 was still extremely upset, my manager let me give her a free milkshake and sit with her for a bit until she calmed down.)

    Me: “So, what was that all about? Do you know those girls?”

    Girl #1: “They go to school with me. I live in a group home. Ever since they found out, they’ve been following me around and making fun of me for it. I’ve been looking for a quiet place to do my homework for weeks. I can’t do it at the home; it’s too noisy, and I get no privacy there. And I’ve been to a few different coffee shops, and restaurants, and even the library, but they follow me everywhere, and no one has ever kicked them out, because they’re never loud or disruptive. This is the first place to help me.”

    (I let Girl #1 get back to her homework. After that, she came in a few times a week to do homework. I let the managers and other staff know of her situation, so there was always someone there for Girl #1 to talk to or someone to threaten the bullies with banishment from the mall if they ever came back, which they didn’t.)

    A Major Minor Mishap

    , | Wales, UK | Criminal/Illegal, Food & Drink, Rude & Risque

    (I am 15 years old, and I work in my cousin’s burger van or cafe during the school breaks. Often I will be in the kiosk late at night when all the clubs close while my cousin is still working. One night a group of guys in their 30s comes up, slightly drunk, and ordered a bunch of food.)

    Customer #1: “You having fun tonight?”

    Me: “Uh, yeah. Sure.”

    Customer #2: “Oh, god, leave her alone, dude!”

    Me: *laughs nervously*

    Customer #1: “Oh, come on… Hey, you see that sausage on the hotplate?”

    Me: “Uh, yeah?”

    Customer #1: “I could give you double the sausage on that hotplate if you come back with me.”

    Me: “Oh, is that so?”

    Customer #1: “Oh yeah, totally.”

    (I laugh and let him carry on, his friends just laughing at him.)

    Me: “So, I’m curious. Do you always talk to minors like that?”

    Customer #1: “What?!”

    Me: “Well, I’m 15.”

    (Customer #1 runs off in a hurry without his order, red faced.)

    Customer #2: “Well, he won’t live that down any time soon!”

    Knowledge On Fizzy Is Fuzzy, Part 2

    , | Williamston, MI, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Technology

    (I’m a manager at a fast food restaurant. It’s a little past six am, and we have just opened, when the phone rings.)

    Me: “This is [Store]. How may I help you?”

    (The caller sounds like a teenage girl.)

    Caller: “Hi! Um… so… I was wondering… Do you have any pop without fizz?”

    Me: “Well, we have Orange HiC, Frutopia, and Powerade. Those are all of the fountain drinks that don’t have fizz.”

    Caller: “But don’t you have any POP without fizz?”

    Me: “No ma’am, I’m sorry. We don’t.”

    Caller: “Well, couldn’t you just… take the fizz out?”

    Me: “No, ma’am, I’m sorry. I don’t really have a way of doing that. It comes out of the fountain that way.”

    Caller: “But, aren’t the syrup and the fizz separate? Couldn’t you make it come out without the fizz?”

    Me: “I don’t believe so.”

    Caller: “Well, couldn’t you try?”

    Me: “I don’t think so. I’d be messing with a lot of equipment that I’m not really qualified to operate, and I wouldn’t want to break anything.”

    Caller: “Oh. Well, that’s very disappointing.”

    Me: “I’m sorry about that. Is there anything else I can help you with today?”

    Caller: “Yes! Can I get a burger?”

    Me: “Yes, if you come into the store and order one.”

    Caller: “Oh. I could come in right now and get one? It isn’t breakfast or something?”

    Me: “Well, yes, we do serve breakfast until 11 am. I just meant that I can’t take your order or give you food over the phone; if you want to order food, you’d need to come up to the store and order it in person.”

    Caller: “But you’re on breakfast until 11 am?”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

    Caller: “Oh. Well… thanks… I guess…”

    Me: “Is there anything else I can help you with today?”

    Caller: “No, I guess not.”

    Me: “All right! Thank you for calling. Have a great day!”

    Caller: “Bye!”

    Me: *bursts out laughing*

    Coworker: “What the heck was that about?”

    Me: “Either that was one of the most entertaining prank calls I’ve ever gotten, or… Well, I don’t want to think about it if she was actually serious!”

    Related:
    Knowledge On Fizzy Is Fuzzy

    A Continuous Sauce Of Stress

    , | Montgomery, AL, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

    Customer: “Give me an extra sauce.”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am, but I have to charge you an additional 28 cents.”

    Customer: “I come here all the time! Just give me the f****** sauce!”

    (I’ve worked there for three years both day and night shift and have never seen this lady.)

    Me: “I’m sorry. I can’t give you the extra sauce unless you purchase it.”

    (The lady digs in her purse and pulls out some change. I hand her the sauce.)

    Customer: “Can I have a cup of water?”

    Me: “We charge for our cups as well. It would be 28 cents.”

    (I’m trying to hold back a smile as the customer glares at me.)

    Customer: “Have a good f****** night, b****!”

    (I smile at her politely.)

    Me: “Thank you, ma’am! I hope you have a wonderful evening as well!”


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