A Cold Assumption

| OH, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, School

(It has been a very harsh winter. I am washing dishes as well as collecting money at the drive through window, so I am constantly shivering due to my arms and hands being wet. This customer pulls up to the window with her daughter.)

Customer: “It must be really cold like that!”

Me: “It’s not too bad.”

Customer: *turns to her daughter* “Honey, this is why you MUST get good grades in school, so you don’t end up living a horrible life like her!”

(I am shocked and offended by what the customer has said to her daughter about me, right in front of me.)

Me: “You mean going to [Well-known Private University] and working to pay for tuition?”

Customer’s Daughter: *to her mom* “Didn’t Dad graduate from [Well-known Private University]?”

(The customer drove off once she paid, looking very sheepish. Her daughter now attends the same university as I do, but works in the cafeteria to pay for her tuition.)

Not Too Chicken To Confront About The Chicken

, | Lethbridge, AB, Canada | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I’m ordering on a busy day at a popular sandwich chain.)

Me: “I’ll have the egg and cheese, please.”

(The worker puts an egg patty on my sandwich.)

Lady Behind Me: “Ew! Gross! What is that? WHY would you EAT that?”

Me: “Oh, it’s just an egg patty. They’re pretty tasty, actually.”

Lady Behind Me: *grumbles* “Gross.”

(I don’t think anything more of her until it is her time to order.)

Lady Behind Me: “Now, I want a chicken sandwich. But not that chicken. That chicken looks too pink. Do you have anything fresher and more well-cooked?”

Worker: “No, sorry, that’s the only chicken we have.”

Lady Behind Me: “FINE. But if I get food poisoning I’m coming back to sue you PERSONALLY. Now, I want two and a half slices of cheese on the bottom of my sandwich.”

(The worker starts putting cheese on.)

Lady Behind Me: “I said on the bottom!” *now screaming* “ON. THE. BOTTOM. HOW IS THAT SO HARD?!”

(I am now biting my tongue, despite being pretty shy about speaking to strangers. The worker moves the lady’s sandwich to the vegetables section.)

Lady Behind Me: “I want some shredded lettuce.”

(The worker puts a handful of lettuce on.)

Lady Behind Me: “More.”

(The worker adds another handful.)

Lady Behind Me: Less.

(The worker takes some off.)

Lady Behind Me: “More.”

Me: “OH, MY GOD. Go home and make your own f****** sandwich! There’s a grocery store next door. Go buy your own cheese and your own chicken and your own stupid lettuce and quit harassing the employees! As a bonus, you won’t have to look at ‘gross’ food like mine!”

(The customers who had been stuck behind her applaud slowly. The lady turns beet red and storms out, leaving her sandwich. The next customer points at me.)

Next Customer: “I’d like to pay for her sandwich, please!”

Holy Guacamole, Get Off The Phone!

, | College Station, TX, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

(I’m a customer in line at a fast food restaurant that makes burritos. I am behind a customer in line who is talking on his cell phone, not acknowledging the employee trying to take his order and holding up the whole line. There are two employees making the food, the first one putting the hot ingredients into the orders and the other handling the cold. The first employee is smiling and being patient with the customer on the phone, but I can tell it’s difficult.)

Employee #1: “Sir, what type of beans—”

Customer: *to phone* “Hang on, this guy is asking me something.” *he looks up, annoyed* “What?”

Employee #1: “Black or pinto beans, sir?”

Customer: “Ugh, black. So anyway—” *he launches back into the conversation with the person on the phone*

Employee #1: “The meat, sir? Sir, what type of meat would you like? Excuse me, sir?”

(The employee waves to catch the man’s attention, but he completely turns his back to him. The employee looks taken aback, but leaves the customer’s unfinished burrito where it is on the line and comes back to me, smiling as best he can.)

Employee #1: “All right, then. Hi, what can I do for you?”

Me: Hi. I’ll have a bowl for here: white rice, veggies, no beans, steak, please.”

(I catch Employee #1’s eye, point to the guy in front of me, mimic putting a telephone to my ear, and do a ‘what the h***?’ expression. He laughs, shrugs in a resigned sort of way, puts my order together efficiently, and moves on to the next customer. Meanwhile, Employee #2 has completely cleaned out all the customers in front of the phone guy, and brought his meatless burrito up into the area of the line with cold ingredients. The phone guy finally turns back around.)

Employee #2: “Vegetarian burrito, sir? Would you like any mild, medium, or hot salsa?”

Customer: “Chicken.”

(Employee #2 quickly reaches over to scoop out a portion of chicken, even though it’s on Employee #1’s area of the line.)

Employee #2: “Yes, sir. Mild, medium, or hot salsa? Maybe some corn or sour cream?”

Customer: “CHICKEN!”

(I swear I can see Employee #2’s eye twitch, but she keeps smiling as the chicken scoop makes it to the burrito.)

Employee #2: “Yes, sir! Would you like any salsa today?”

Customer: *into the phone* “Ugh, hold on again.” *slowly and loudly, to [Employee #2]* “CHIIIICKEEEEEN.”

(At this point Employee #1’s side of the line is totally full of customers’ orders waiting to move on to Employee #2’s area, and Employee #1 cannot physically fit any more orders in the line to get them started. More people come in, and the line’s getting halfway to the door. I have had enough.)

Me: “Excuse me? If you were paying attention, you’d see she got your chicken already. Do you want mild, medium, or hot salsa?”

Customer: “What? Who do you think you are?”

Me: “I’m the first in a long line of people who wants you to get off your phone and finish your order already.”

Customer Behind Me: “Seriously!”

Me: “Mild, medium, hot. Pick.”

Customer: “Wh- uh, medium.”

Me: “Corn, sour cream, cheese.”

Customer: “Sour cream and cheese, and uh, guacamole, but—”

Me: *instinctively, without even thinking about it* “It’s going to cost extra; is that okay?”

(The employees all laugh.)

Employee #2: “That’s my line!”

(The flustered customer finally finished up. I went back and finished off my order, and I got it for free!)

Driving Through The Line

, | IN, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

(I am working at the drive-thru and our customer traffic is far higher than usual. A vehicle drives up to the pick-up window. It’s a large white fleet van for an HVAC contractor, and the driver is wearing matching overalls. I read his order from the monitor.)

Me: “That’ll be [amount], please.”

Customer: “I haven’t ordered yet.”

Me: “You didn’t order [items]?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Then why are you in line?”

Customer: “I cut in line. I want you to take my order now.”

Me: “Sir, that’s not fair to the many vehicles in line behind you. Please get in line and order like everyone else.”

Customer: “I’m f**** here right f**** now, and you’re gonna take my f***** order!”

Me: *pointing at headset* “I can’t take your order unless you use the radio unit by the menu at the start of the line.”

Customer: “I wanna talk to your manager!”

(My manager had been listening in on the other headset, and was already at the window.)

Manager: “How can I help you?”

Customer: “This f***** won’t take my order!”

Manager: “I will take and fill your order personally, but only after you personally explain to all the cars in line behind you why they have to wait an extra fifteen minutes because of you.”

(The customer launched into a hysteric stream of profanity and drove away. My manager was already dialing the HVAC contractor’s phone number written on the side of the customer’s van. The HVAC contractor’s boss assured us that a stern reprimand would be in order.)

In Need Of A Golden Nugget

, | LA, USA | Food & Drink, Pets & Animals

(I’m working the drive-thru window when a customer orders two meals, plus two extra 12-nugget boxes. I don’t think anything of it, as this is fairly normal, but then they drive up. There are two large dogs in the back, where the seats are folded down, and the customer and her husband in the front seats.)

Me: “That will be [price].” *sees the dogs* “Oh, I love dogs! Yours are gorgeous! Are they Huskies?”

Customer: “Aw, thank you, honey! Well, one is, and one’s a Malamute.”

(I have quickly processed the transaction as we chat, and I hand her card back, then her drinks, and then the bags.)

Me: “They look really well-behaved, too.”

Customer: “Oh, yes. They were so good at the dog park, we had to come get them a treat. They just love [Restaurant].”

(As she’s saying this, she hands one nugget box to her husband, they both open them as if on cue, and put them in the back where the dogs gobble them down.)

Me: *blinks* “Have a good day, ma’am.”

Customer: “Oh, we will. Bye!”

(They drive off, and my coworker and I look at each other.)

Coworker: “She just spent ten bucks on those dogs… I need that kind of money.”

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