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    Too Early To Wake Up And Smell The Coffee

    , | VA, USA | Crazy Requests, Criminal/Illegal, Food & Drink

    (I have just gotten off my job, working retail at a clothing store. I stop by a popular, well-known fast food restaurant for dinner. The drive-thru is backed up, and there are several police officers mulling around. Despite this, I’m still hungry, so I go inside and order my food.)

    Me: “So, what’s going on here anyway?”

    Cashier: “This customer won’t move her car away from the pay window in the drive-thru.”

    Me: “Why not?”

    Cashier: “We’re having a promotion where you can get a free coffee during breakfast hours. But it’s 11 pm. She shows up and wants her free coffee, and we tell her it’s only for the mornings, and she refuses to move. So we called the cops. I guess they’ll tow her.”

    Me: “Wow, all that fuss over a free coffee? That’s pretty sad. I understand crazy customers, I work at [Clothing Shop].”

    Cashier: “Honey, until you’ve worked at [Fast Food Place], you ain’t seen s***!”

    Need To Reroute This Transaction

    , | Hokes Bluff, AL, USA | Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month

    (I hear my coworker, who is somewhat new, reading our entire list of drinks off to a customer over the speaker. I go over to see what is going on, and hear this.)

    Customer: “I want a ‘route 44!’”

    Coworker: “Yes, ma’am, and what would you like to drink?”

    Customer: “A ‘route 44!’”

    Coworker: “What kind? We have—” *reads off drinks again*

    Customer: *angry* “A ‘ROUTE 44!’”

    Coworker: *to me* “I don’t know what to do. She’s just not getting it.”

    Me: *to Coworker* “They need you over there. I’ll take over here.” *to Customer* “Hi ma’am, what can I get you to drink with your order?”

    Customer: “Oh, my god. I WANT A ‘ROUTE 44!’”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am, but a route 44 what?”

    Customer: *screaming* “A ROUTE 44 LARGE! I WANT A ROUTE 44 LARGE!”

    Me: “Ma’am, route 44 is a size. What would you like to drink?”

    Customer: *pauses, mutters something to another person in the car* “I want a route 44 Coke…”

    Taking Action On The Distraction

    , | Estado de México, Mexico | Awesome Workers, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month

    (I’m the customer in this story. I’ve come to the mall and on the way out I visit a stall that makes crêpes.)

    Me: “Yeah, I’d like a ham with manchego one, please.”

    Worker: *Inputs the order in the computer* “Would you like chipotle or jalapeño, sir?”

    (I’ve wandered into my own thoughts and don’t listen.)

    Worker: “Sir?”

    Me: *snapping back* “Uh?”

    Worker: “Chipotle or jalapeño, sir?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    (The worker stares at me awkwardly and then I realize what I just said.)

    Me: “Sorry, sorry! Chipotle, please.”

    (The rest of the transaction goes without any trouble and then they proceed to make the crêpe.)

    Worker: “You tell me how much chipotle do you want, sir.”

    (I look at her dabbing a little of the stuff and then adding more and more.)

    Worker: “Uh… are you distracted again?”

    Me: “Not this time. I just like it spicy.”

    Bird Is The Word

    , | Montgomery, AL, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Religion

    (I am working the drive thru on a Sunday, a time when we have a lot of regular customers after church lets out. I recognize a man from last Sunday.)

    Me: “Hey, I remember you from the other day!”

    Customer: “That’s right! You have a good memory! I like to hear the word and eat the bird!”

    Needs Some Light Soul Food

    , | CA, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

    (I am working the drive thru of the store very early in the morning.)

    Me: “Welcome to [Fast Food Store], what could I get for you today?”

    Customer: “Just a small coffee.”

    Me: “How will you take your coffee today?”

    Customer: “Black, just like my soul.”

    Me: “… okay?”


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