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    It Always Hurts To Ask

    , | California, USA | Food & Drink

    Me: “Hello! What can I get for you this evening?”

    Customer: “Yeah, can I get a Caramel Mocha?”

    Me: “Sure, did you want the Caramel Mocha or did you want the blended Caramel Frappe?”

    Customer: *impatiently* “I WANT the Caramel MOCHA!”

    Me: “Okay, did you want that hot or cold?”

    Customer: *annoyed* “I want that cold! DUH!”

    Me: “Okay, did you want that medium or large?”

    Customer: “I want it F***ING LARGE! WHY YOU GOTTA ASK ME SO D*** MANY QUESTIONS?!”

    Me: “I’m sorry. I just want to make sure I have your order correct. Here’s your total. Please have your money ready at the first window…”

    (The customer gets to the window, practically throws her money at me, and speeds off to the next window to get her drink.)

    Customer: *at the next window* “I DIDN’T WANT THIS NASTY PIECE OF S***! I WANTED THE BLENDED ONE!”

    A Day Late And A Month Short

    , | Connellsville, PA, USA | Time

    (Note: our company sent out coupons a few months ago, and they expired June 3rd. A customer walks in and slaps the coupons down on the counter.)

    Customer: “I want to use this for my salad.”

    Me: “Sorry, sir, those expired at the 3rd of the month.”

    Customer: “NO! It says they expire June 32nd!”

    Me: “Sir, there is no June 32nd.”

    Customer: *glances at the coupon and then storms out of the building cursing*

    Be Discrete On The Receipt

    , | Kansas, USA | Bizarre

    (I am ringing up a customer. Note that the receipts automatically print on credit transactions.)

    Me: “Would you like your receipt?”

    Customer: “No! How dare you! You better not give me receipt! I will be so pissed!”

    Me: “Oh, um, okay then!”

    (I finish ringing her up and the receipt prints automatically.)

    Customer: “Why did you print that?! I told you I didn’t want it! Do I need to slap you?!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. They print automatically when you use a credit card. You don’t have to take it or anything.”

    Customer: “I hate you young kids who think you know everything! You print receipts like it’s nothing!”

    Me: *not knowing what to say* “Well, have a great evening.”

    Customer: “How could I?! You printed the receipt!”

    Two Oblongs Don’t Make A Right

    , | Minnesota, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Rude & Risque

    (Note: I’m working the drive-thru.)

    Coworker: “Hey, ask this next guy how his mom’s doing.”

    Me: “Uh, okay…” *to customer* “Hey, how’s your mom doing?”

    Customer: “She’s in f***ing jail! Thanks for asking!”

    (The customer drives from the intercom to my window, pulls down his pants, shakes his butt at us, and then drives away. The next customer in line pulls up.)

    Next Customer: “What the H*** was that?!”

    Also seen on Not Always Working.

    Dingbats In The Drive-Thru

    , | Derby, UK | Food & Drink, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (I work in the drive-thru area of a well known fast food store. I’m taking an order out to a customer who, instead of parking in the designated bays, has parked in the main car park. The car he is parked next to just happens to be mine.)

    Me: “One burger meal?”

    (The customer throws open his door with great speed, slamming it into my car and leaving a noticeable dent. In shock, I drop his paper bag.)

    Customer: “What on EARTH do you think you’re doing?!”

    Me: “You just hit my car!”

    Customer: “Oh, I didn’t realise it was yours.”

    (At this point I’m too shocked to do anything other than stand there and try not to cry.)

    Customer: “So, are you going to compensate me?”

    Me: “What for?”

    Customer: “You just dropped my food on the floor. I demand a full refund and maybe some extras.”

    Me: “Sir, you just dented my car with extreme force. I don’t particularly feel inclined to do anything other than replace the meal I dropped, to be completely honest.”

    Customer: “That is RIDICULOUS! You owe me £5 for that meal!”

    Me: “With all due respect sir, if I may please have your insurance details, we’ll see just how much you owe me!”

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