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    Weekend Roundup: Don’t Mess With Employees

    , , , | Not Always Right Archives | Roundups

    Introducing Weekend Roundups: each week, we’ll be featuring some of our favorite stories from the Not Always Right archives.

    Don’t Mess With Employees! This week, we feature five stories that teach misbehaving customers the consequences of messing with employees.

    1. In Real Hot Sauce Now:
      A young teenage employee decides her dignity is worth more than £3.71 and dealing with a cowardly manager.
    2. A Good Ol’ Fashioned A** Whoopin’:
      A customer tries to rough up an employee, but ends up getting roughed up by the manager instead.
    3. Hard Drugs And Harder Pharmacists:
      Teenage robber, meet Doug. Doug is our new pharmacy tech. Doug is also built like a fridge.
    4. Who’s Got The Power Now:
      Tech support is happy to support your technology. Supporting your potty mouth, not so much.
    5. Your Prank Got Spanked:
      A prank caller picks the wrong, well-armed store to call.

    One Whopper Of A Mistake

    , | Massachusetts, USA | Food & Drink

    (A customer walks in and slams a bag down on the counter in front of me.)

    Me: “Yes, can I help you, sir?”

    Customer: “Yes! I drove all the way home and had to come all the way back here! That young lady right there said my mozzarella sticks were in this bag, but THEY’RE NOT!”

    (He points rather exaggeratedly at the girl in the drive thru. I look calmly down at the bag, then up at the customer.)

    Me: “Sir, this is McDonald’s. That’s a Burger King bag.”

    (He then looks down at the bag and slowly back up at me.)

    Customer: “Oh.” *picks up bag and runs out the door*

    Also Check Out The Endless “What People Think I Do” Charts

    , | Ohio, USA | Rude & Risque

    (I am a customer at a restaurant. I’m wearing a shirt from a popular web comic. A woman, also a customer, approaches me.)

    Customer: “I love your shirt!”

    Me: “Aw, thanks! Are you a fan of [web comic]?”

    Customer: “No, I’ve never heard of it, but your shirt is so cute. I just have to have one! Where did you get it?”

    Me: “I bought it online. Do you want the name of the website?”

    Customer: *suddenly huffy and angry* “Excuse me?”

    Me: “Um, do you want the name of the place on the internet that I ordered the shirt from?”

    Customer: “Do you think I’m stupid? Are you trying to trick me? There’s no such thing as a website with shirts on it! The only things on the internet are porn and pedophiles!”

    Me: *completely speechless*

    Nearby customer: “Ma’am, could you please settle down? There are children around, and I’m sure their parents don’t want them hearing about–”

    Customer: “Porn and pedophiles!” *rushes out of restaurant*

    Let Me Give You A Pita My Mind

    , | Ontario, Canada | Food & Drink

    Me: “Hi, there. What could I get for you?”

    Customer: “Hi. Uh, do you guys sell slices?”

    Me: “No, this is a pita shop.”

    Customer: “So you don’t have pizza?”

    Me: “No.”

    Customer: “Well, what do you have?”

    Me: “Pitas. We’re a pita shop.”

    Customer: “Well, what’s a pita?”

    Me: “It’s like a wrap.”

    Customer: “That’s gross!”

    Related:
    Let Me Give You A Pizza My Mind, Part 2
    Let Me Give You A Pizza My Mind
    Giving A Pizza My Mind

    Desperate Drive-Thru-Wives

    , | Fort Wayne, IN, USA | Rude & Risque

    (I’m presenting at the drive-thru of a well-known franchise. A van full of women in their 30s and 40s pulls up. I hand them their drinks and proceed to make small talk with them while waiting for my runner to finish assembling the meal.)

    Me: “So, it’ll be just a moment and your food will be ready!”

    (As I talk to the driver, she pulls a weird, thick, peach-colored item from her bag. She and her friends start laughing.)

    Driver: “Oh, that’s fine, honey! Take your time!”

    Me: “Haha, all…right…”

    (Suddenly, I realize what the item is. It’s a phallic-shaped pen.)

    Me: “That’s…um. That’s an interesting pen you have there, haha!”

    Driver: *waving it around* “Oh yes, isn’t it?”

    Me: “Er…yes! Here’s your food! You have a good day, now!”

    Driver: “Oh, I don’t think this is big enough, but I’ll try!”

    (All the women in the van laugh as they drive off.)

    Me: *speechless*


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