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    Weekend Roundup: Prank You Very Much

    , , , , | Not Always Right | Roundups

    Prank You Very Much! Happy April Fools’ Day, readers! This week, we share five stories that show the foolish hazards of pulling a fast one!

    1. Impractical Jokes:
      Guys, take note: a fake stabbing to freak out your wife might result in a real stabbing—by your wife!
    2. Bohemian Nobody:
      Customer, oo-oo-oo-ooh // Didn’t mean to make you cry // If you’re not back again this time tomorrow // Go away, go away // Your pranks don’t really matter…
    3. Prankin’ Like It’s 1929:
      This elderly caller’s prank is probably older than your grandparents, but he proves laughter IS the best medicine—especially when it’s at your expense!
    4. Your Prank Got Spanked, Part 2:
      A caller learns the hard way that if you’re gonna prank an employee, at least be original!
    5. Morbid Curiosity Killed The Cat:
      Note to prank callers: your cat is NOT a get-out-of-jail-free card!

    PS: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

    Here Today, (Not) Gone Tomorrow

    , | Melbourne, Australia | Extra Stupid

    (A man approaches the counter.)

    Me: “Hello, sir, what can I get for you today?”

    Customer: “Yes, I was wondering what days you guys are closed.”

    Me: “We’re open everyday.”

    Customer: “Yes, but which days aren’t you open?”

    Me: “None. We are open every day.”

    Customer: *irritated* “Are you deaf? Which days AREN’T you open?”

    Me: “Sir, we are open on days that end with the letter Y.”

    Customer: “Right! So you’re open 4 days a week! Why didn’t you just say that?”

    Illegal Tender

    , | Australia | Criminal/Illegal, Food & Drink

    (I work late at night at a well-known fast food chain. We often get customers who are a little bit under the influence at night.)

    Me: “That comes to $23.95, thanks.”

    (The customer goes through his wallet and pockets and comes up about $5 short.)

    Customer: “Do you want to buy some weed off me so I can pay for this order?”

    Hashpocalypse Now

    , | Sydney, Australia | Bizarre, Food & Drink

    (I’m working the breakfast shift when a man comes in with his children who look about 5 or 6. He orders a large amount of food.)

    Customer: “And can I get…four hash browns with that?”

    Me: “Certainly.”

    (I type in the total and show it to him.)

    Customer: “What? $4.80? Are you kidding?”

    Me: “That’s how much it is.”

    Customer: “No way! That’s too expensive! I can’t justify that. Get rid of them!”

    (I cancel the last item while the customer continues ranting.)

    Customer: “It’s also the fact that they’re just hot oil! I can’t give my kids that poison!”

    Me: “What?”

    Customer: “This whole place is poison! All of it! You know the cancer charities you guys set up? Your food is causing the cancer that those kids are dying from!”

    Me: “Uh…”

    Customer: “You’re poisoning people! Poisoning my kids! Working here, you kill more people a year than smoking!”

    Me: “Really?”

    Customer: *mimicking me* “‘Really?’ Why don’t you do some bloody research before you start a job, girl?!”

    Me: *speechless*

    Customer: “This whole place is evil! You should have a freaking skull and crossbones out the front! I can’t justify buying hash browns and poisoning my kids!” *leaves with his kids and his food, minus the evil hash browns*

    Warning: Reacts Poorly To Chemistry

    , | Ohio, USA | Food & Drink

    Customer: “And a cheeseburger with—” *mumbling*

    Me: “I’m sorry, but with what?”

    Customer: “No salt. S, A, L, T.”

    Me: “Oh, salt, like sodium chloride…NaCl. Sure.”

    Customer: “What!?”

    Me: “Oh, sorry, I’m a chemistry nerd.”

    Customer: “What’s NaCl?”

    Me: “Sodium chloride. The chemical name for table salt. I just left school so I am in that mindset.”

    Customer: “You put chemicals in your burgers!?”


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