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    Husband And Strife

    | Maine, USA | Food & Drink, Spouses & Partners, Wild & Unruly

    (A man walks in with his wife and starts ordering their food. She goes over to the soda machine to grab a drink, but the ice machine stops working. Frustrated, the wife starts slamming on the bar you push to get ice.)

    Wife: “IT’S NOT WORKING!”

    Me: “I’ll be right over. Sometimes it jams and you just have to hold down the handle for a bit.”

    (I go over and hold down the handle for a good 30 seconds which is usually enough time for the ice to start coming out again, but it still doesn’t work.)

    Me: “I’m really sorry about that. Usually there’s an additional charge for bottled drinks but you can have one for no extra cost if that’s okay.”

    Wife: “Okay, thanks.”

    (The wife goes to grab a drink but just stands there for a moment.)

    Wife: “You know what? WHATS THE POINT OF GRABBING A G**D*** DRINK IF THERE’S NO G**D*** ICE?!”

    Husband: “Baby, it’s fine. Just grab a bottled drink.”

    Wife: “NO, IT REALLY ISN’T!” *throws cup on the ground and stomps out the door*

    Me: “I’m so sorry… you can have a bottled drink for free at this point.”

    Husband: “Really?”

    Me: “Yeah, sure. I’m sorry about the ice.”

    Husband: “No, no, don’t worry about it. She’s just a huge b****!”

    Breaking Bread Can Break You Up

    , | Maine, USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Spouses & Partners

    (A couple comes in and races up to the sandwich unit.)

    Woman: “Hi, we only need one sandwich for our kid. I’m gonna make it quick, I promise. He wants a six inch white—”

    Man: “No, he doesn’t. He wants flatbread.”

    Woman: “No, he wants white!”

    Man: “Flatbread!”

    Woman: “Shut up, I know what he wants!”

    Man: “No, you don’t! He won’t eat white bread!”

    Woman: *sighs* “Is there any way I can get the sandwich on a flatbread, but put white bread on the side? I know I’m right, and he hates flatbreads.”

    Me: “Yes, of course. It’s just costs a bit extra.”

    Woman: “Okay, so turkey and cheddar cheese.”

    Man: *shakes his head* “He likes American.”

    Woman: “No, he doesn’t!”

    Man: “Yes, he does!”

    Woman: “Shut up! You’re confusing people!”

    Me: “Would you like me to put some American on the side?”

    Woman: “No! He HATES American, so there’s no point. Besides, he wants it toasted.”

    Man: “Finally! Something right!”

    Woman: “Right, so toasted with olives and mustard, and that’s it.”

    Man: “He wants lettuce, too.”

    Woman: “Fine, s***! Put lettuce on there and when he won’t eat it. Whatever!”

    Me: “…Anything else?”

    Woman: “No. HE’S probably confusing you already.”

    Man: “YOU’RE the confusing one.”

    (I ring them up and they calm down as they get ready to leave.)

    Woman: “Thanks, sorry about that. We didn’t mean to confuse you!”

    Please Pull Up To The Next Fast One

    , | Maine, USA | Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers, Top

    (I am working the first window of the drive-thru taking people’s money. Our store has a policy that if you don’t get a receipt or if you are not offered a receipt, then your order is free. A man comes up to my window and shoves a wad of bills and change into my hand and immediately drives off to the next window. I don’t think much of it, because the guy had exact change. A short time later, my manager comes up to me.)

    Manager: “A customer is insisting on getting their food for free. He says that you didn’t give him his receipt nor ask him if he wanted one.”

    (I explain to my manager what happened, and then go and talk to the customer.)

    Me: “Sir, you didn’t give me a chance to offer you a receipt or to complete the transaction. As soon as you gave me your money, you sped off.”

    Customer: “That’s NOT what the sign says! It’s not my fault you’re slow! I was not given a receipt, correct? You did not ask me if I wanted a receipt, correct? Therefore, I get my food for free!”

    (My manager decides not to argue with the man and refunds his money. A few days later, a man places an order and I am pretty sure it is the same customer. Sure enough, I immediately recognize him when he pulls up to my window. Again, he shoves a wad of bills and change at me. However, I don’t reach out to take it just yet.)

    Me: “Good evening, sir! Would you like your receipt today?”

    Customer: “D*** it! You recognized me, didn’t you?”

    Androcles And The Liquor

    , | Missouri, USA | Food & Drink

    (We have a difficult customer who comes in every day with his wife. Usually, he is just fine, but if he doesn’t get his coffee exactly right, he throws a huge fit. He’s even made a few girls cry from screaming at them.)

    Me: “Good morning! How are you doing today?”

    Difficult Customer: “Not good. I need my coffee.”

    Me: “Yes, sir! Coming right up!”

    Difficult Customer: “And, one other thing…”

    Me: “…Yes?”

    Difficult Customer: “Can I get a shot of whiskey in that?”

    Me: “If I could give you coffee and whiskey, I think we would all have a better morning!”

    Teaching A Righteous Dimwit Is Stressful

    , | USA | Geeks Rule, Language & Words

    (My friend and I are really big Doctor Who fans, and we are also crafty. One day, she makes me a T.A.R.D.I.S. bracelet out of duct tape. FYI: the T.A.R.D.I.S. is the Doctor’s transport and is in the shape of big, blue police box. I am working in the drive-thru when this took place.)

    Me: “Hello, that is going to be [price].”

    Customer: *hands me her money*

    Me: “Your change is [amount].”

    Customer: “What an interesting bracelet!”

    Me: “Oh, thank you. A friend of mine made it.”

    Customer: “What is it supposed to be?”

    (I’m holding my hand out so that she can take a better look at it.)

    Me: “It’s a Tardis.”

    Customer: *blank look*

    Me: “Ma’am?”

    Customer: “That is just terrible!”

    Me: “Huh?”

    Customer: “Using the ‘R’ word isn’t bad enough for you kids? Now you have to come up with some slang term? That is terrible!”

    Me: “The… ‘R’ word?”

    Customer: “RETARD!”

    Me: “Ma’am, the Tardis is a shop from a sci-fi show… not slang for retard.”

    Customer: “Don’t you give me any excuses, little missy. You are in a lot of trouble. Wearing something to promote calling retards retarded is despicable. I need to speak to your manager!”

    (Despite trying to explain otherwise, my manager had to give her a free coupon to keep her from calling corporate to complain. I also can’t wear the bracelet to work anymore. It sometimes sucks being a nerdy girl in a small town.)

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