Featured Story:
  • A Caffeinated Christmas Miracle
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  • So-da Pressing

    , | WI, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

    (A customer asks for the manager, and seems clearly upset.)

    Manager: “Is there something I can help you with?”

    Customer: “Yes! Why are you using [soda brand] products? You know they have fetuses in them! How dare you use their product?”

    Manager: “Ma’am, I can assure you there are no—”

    Customer: “YES THERE ARE! I want to know why you’re using their product when they have fetuses in them!”

    Manager: “Let me get the head manager.”

    (She comes back with the head manager.)

    Head manager: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we can’t decide what kind of soda products we use. That is up to corporate to decide. It’s not our personal decision to choose a specific type of soda.”

    Customer: “But they have fetuses in them!”

    Head manager: “Well, if you would like to complain, I would go ahead and contact corporate about the soda. I’m sorry, but I can’t do more for you.”

    Customer: “Well, I can’t believe you would use [soda brand]! They have fetuses in them!”

    (I’ve dealt with some unique people at that place, but she takes the cake!)

    Taking A Holiday From Reason

    , | Fast Food, RestaurantMT, USA | Bizarre, Holidays

    (I am working the day before Christmas Eve. Our management has been pressing us to say ‘Happy Holidays’ so that people don’t get offended. However, sometimes I would slip up and say ‘Merry Christmas’ because of habit. I am also Wiccan, and therefore do not follow Christian practices.)

    Me: “Here is your order! Have a nice day, and Merry Christmas!”

    Customer: “Excuse me?”

    Me: “Um… here is your order?”

    Customer: “No, what you just said. You just wished me a Merry Christmas.”

    Me: “Yes… yes I did?”

    Customer: “How dare you! What if I didn’t believe in Christ! Do you know how offensive that would have been?! What if I was Jewish or Atheist?! You have really offended me! What do you have to say for yourself?!”

    Me: “Well, ma’am, I do apologize if I offended you. However, I don’t believe in Christ. I’m Wiccan. But I still celebrate Christmas because it’s a beautiful family holiday.”

    (The customer goes quiet for a moment. All of a sudden she starts yelling.)

    Customer: “How can you not believe in Christ?! He died for your sins on the cross! Do you have any idea what Christmas is about! It’s not about family; it is about the birth of Jesus! How dare you! I will never eat here again!”

    The Grinch Comes Earlier Every Year

    , | IN, USA | Holidays, Language & Words, Theme Of The Month

    (I have rung up a customer, and hand her the food. She is getting ready to drive away.)

    Me: “Have a happy Thanksgiving!”

    Customer: *yelling fairly loudly* “Well, that was rude! It’s ‘Happy Holidays.’ Saying Thanksgiving is politically incorrect! Stupid girl!”

    Not Sweet On The Potato

    , | CA, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

    (I work for a small, privately-owned fast food chain, and we often receive many questions about our food and what goes into each item. I notice a man that ordered a few moments ago is lingering at the counter trying to look into the back. I excuse myself and approach him.)

    Me: “Did you have any questions, sir?”

    Customer: “Yeah, what do you put in your fries?”

    Me: “Our fries?”

    Customer: “Your fries. What do you put in them?”

    Me: “Well, we salt them, but that’s—”

    Customer: “No! What do you put in the fries?!”

    Me: “Um… potatoes?”

    Customer: “Do you have a manager? Where is your manager?!”

    (My manager comes up to the counter to see what is wrong.)

    Manager: “What seems to be the problem?”

    (By now, the customer is speaking loud enough for the whole dining room to hear him.)

    Customer: “What do you put in your fries?!”

    Manager: “…I’m sorry?”

    Me: “I think he wants to know what the ingredients for the fries are.”

    Customer: “Yes! What do you put in the fries?”

    Manager: “Potatoes.”

    (The customer points in a very angry manner toward the back of the kitchen where we cook the fries.)

    Customer: “No! I want to know it says on that box of what you put in your fries! Bring me that box, RIGHT NOW!”

    Manager: “Sir, I’m not allowed to bring it to the front. Now, please…”

    (After a minute or two of talking with my manager, the man seems to quiet down. I figure everything has been resolved and began chatting with the pair of customers from earlier. Soon, the irate customer receives his food and starts walking out of the store.)

    Me: “Thank you for coming to [restaurant].”

    Customer: “I’M GOING TO GIVE THIS TO MY SON EVEN IF YOU WON’T TELL ME WHAT’S IN IT!” *leaves*

    Not Quite The Muffin Top Of The Class

    , | QLD, Australia | Food & Drink, Language & Words

    (I am working on drive-thru at a major fast food restaurant.)

    Me: “Welcome to [restaurant]. Please place your order.”

    Customer: “Can I have a bacon and egg muffin and a bacon and egg muffin?”

    Me: “So, two bacon and egg muffins.”

    Customer: “No… I want a bacon and egg muffin and a bacon and egg muffin.”

    Me: “Umm… so, two bacon and egg muffins?

    Customer: “No!”

    Me: “You just said you want a bacon and egg muffin and a bacon and egg muffin.”

    Customer: “I want a bacon muffin and a bacon and egg muffin.”

    Me: “So, two bacon and egg muffins, one without egg.”

    Customer: “No! Just give me two bacon and egg muffins.”

    Me: *gives up* “…Sure. That will just be $7.30 at the first window.”

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