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    This Customer’s Spirit Is Unsinkable

    , | Derbyshire, England, UK | Awesome Customers, Movies & TV, Top

    (I am quite well-spoken and have what many people refer to as a ‘posh’ accent.)

    Me: “Alright, so that will be £24, please!”

    Customer: “You’re far too posh to be working in a place like this!”

    Me: “Why, thank you! I do tend to hear that rather often! I’ve got to pay my way through university somehow, I suppose.”

    Customer: “Ooh yes! You sound just like that Kate Winslet!”

    Me: “Um, thank you! Have a good night!”

    (About one week passes, when the customer comes through again, this time with her entire family in tow.)

    Customer: “It’s Kate Winslet!”

    Me: “Hello again! How are you all this evening?”

    Customer: “I’d be better if you could just talk at my kids a second!”

    Me: “Okay then. I mean, what would you like me to say?”

    Customer: “They’ve been watching Titanic all week getting ready for this. Say that bit when she’s stuck on the door at the end!”

    Me: “Um… ‘I’ll never let go, Jack!’”

    Customer: *to her kids* “Ha! Didn’t I tell you she sounded just like her?!”

    Me: “Well, I’m glad you liked it. Is there anything else I can help you all with tonight?”

    Customer: “Oh, no thank you, darling. Just stay as you are. It’s so nice to be served by people that are just so happy!”

    (These customers are now regulars, who not only ask me to quote Titanic every time they come through, but also got one of my coworkers to do the ‘Gangnam Style’ dance.)

    A Change In Atti-two-de

    , | Sacramento, CA, USA | Awesome Customers, Money, Top

    (I am working the register where a customer has just paid with a bunch of two dollar bills. Just to be sure we can take them, I ask my manager, who says yes. Upon hearing this, the customer starts making fun of me.)

    Customer: “Haha! Haven’t you ever seen a $2 bill before?! Aren’t you a real American? I’ve never seen anyone who doesn’t know what a $2 bill is. Haha!”

    Me: “I’m… I’m sorry, sir.”

    (The customer then proceeds to get the rest of the line behind him to laugh at me. I am humiliated and stewing by this point, but send him on his way, smiling the whole time. Later, I’m in the back room counting the money in my register into the safe for the end of my shift. My manager comes into the back to talk to me.)

    Manager: “There’s a customer at the front counter who wants to talk to you.”

    (I go out there and it’s the $2 bill customer from earlier. I’m bracing myself for round two when this happens.)

    Customer: “I just wanted to say I’m really sorry for making fun of you earlier. It wasn’t right. I was in a bad mood and I took it out on you, and you didn’t deserve it.”

    Me: “It’s okay, sir.”

    Customer: “No, it isn’t. You were just trying to do your job and I embarrassed you. That’s not okay. I’m very sorry. Buddies?”

    Me: “Buddies.” *we shake hands*

    (After I got off work he told me some of the history of $2 bills. When he left he said, “Don’t let them get to you!” He comes in almost every day now, and it’s always nice to see him!)

    Count On This Customer To Be Considerate For A Change

    , | Omaha, NE, USA | Math & Science, Money

    (A woman in her thirties comes in with her young daughter, and they order two meals to go. The total is just over $18 and she hands me a twenty.)

    Me: “Out of twenty?”

    Customer: “Oh! Oh! I have the change. Is that okay? Do you want the change? Is it okay if I give you the change? Will it mess you up? Will you have to re-ring it?”

    Me: “No, it’s fine. Thanks.”

    Customer: “Are you sure? It won’t mess up the till?”

    Me: “No. Actually, we have no way to enter in how much customers give us. We just have to use math to figure it out!”

    Customer: “Really? Oh my gosh. There’s really no way to figure it out?”

    Me: “Nothing but counting.” *I hand her the change* “There you go. That’ll be right out.”

    Customer: *in awe* “Wow!”

    Caught With Your Hand In The Cookie Case

    , | California, USA | Criminal/Illegal

    (A kid who I barely know from high school comes into the store where I work.)

    Kid: “Hey, [my name], give me something free!”

    Me: “No. Did you actually want to order something?”

    Kid: “Depends. Can I at least have a discount?”

    Me: “No.”

    (The kid then proceeds to reach his hand inside the display case where the cookies are held. I notice this and shove the cookie tray against the case, causing his hand to be trapped.)

    Me: “Take your hand out of there and leave before I call the cops.”

    Kid: “But it’s stuck!”

    Me: “I don’t care. Get your hand out now!”

    (He pulls his hand out and ends up leaving with out ordering anything. Thankfully, he was never seen at our store again.)

    Some Customers Are Asking For It

    , | Vancouver, BC, Canada | Food & Drink, Top

    Me: “Hey there, what can I get for you today?”

    Customer: “I’ll have a coffee, a burger, and a muffin.”

    Me: “Okay, what size coffee would you like?”

    Customer: “Small.”

    Me: “Any cream or sugar in that?”

    Customer: “Double double.”

    Me: “And what kind of muffin would you like?”

    Customer: “Do you have to ask so many questions?”

    Me: “Yes, sir, it’s hard when you don’t specify anything you want.”

    Customer: “Are you kidding?! I told you very clearly a coffee, a muffin, a burger!”

    Me: “Yes, but you didn’t tell me what size, how you like the coffee, what muffin, and what burger, and as you can see there are a few different—”

    Customer: “I’d like to speak to your manager!”

    Manager: “I’m right here. If you’d like a large black coffee, a bran muffin, and a bacon cheese burger, then we don’t have to ask you any more questions.”

    Customer: “That’s not what I want at all!”

    Manager: “Then let’s answer the questions and stop complaining, shall we?”

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