A customer gets a cup for the soda fountain. I see him fill the cup with ice and soda as normal. Then, he walks up to his table and suddenly turns the cup upside down, spilling its contents on the floor. He looks confused for a moment and then looks at me as if I could offer an explanation.

Me: “Sir, why did you do that?”

Customer: “I don’t know.”

Me: “Okay, well… please don’t do that again.”

Customer: “Okay.”

I cleaned up the spill and he refilled his drink. I eyed him closely as he returned to his table, looked decidedly at his cup, at his table again, at me, at the cup, and at the table again, and then slooooooowly placed the cup down on the table, right way up. 

He beamed a smile at me at his accomplishment. I smiled and gave him a thumbs-up. I don’t have an explanation.

My coworker is taking drive-thru orders when a woman pulls up.

Customer: “I’d like a crunchy taco. But what kind of meat comes with it?”

Coworker: “The crunchy taco typically comes with beef, but it could be substituted for a different sort of meat.”

Customer: “Okay. I want hamburger meat on my taco.”

So, my coworker rang the taco up as normal, but when the customer saw the word “beef” on the screen, she got mad.

Customer: “NO! I DON’T WANT BEEF IN MY TACO; I WANT HAMBURGER MEAT!”

My coworker looked extremely dead inside.

My husband and I are driving home, and we decide to drive through [Fast Food Chain] for lunch. Important to know is they are selling quesaritos at this time. We have a little trouble ordering, but we attribute that to bad speakers.

When we pull up to the window, it is clear the guy at the window is high. After we finally pay for our food and get the bag, my husband asks me to check we got our food. We are missing a quesadilla.

Husband: “Excuse me.”

Worker: “Yeah, man.”

Husband: “We’re missing a quesadilla.”

Worker: “Oh! I thought you wanted a quesarito.”

Then, he just smiles at us, hanging out the window, completely amused by the mistake. After a minute or so goes by, my husband speaks again.

Husband: “So, can we have our quesadilla?”

Worker: “Oh! Oh, sure. Yeah, man, you can have a quesadilla.”

Then, he just stands there again, looking at us.

Husband: “So, do you want to get it for us, or should we come inside?”

Worker: “Yeah! Yeah, I can get it for you.”

He closes the window and hopefully asks someone else to make the food. He opens the window to give it to us.

Husband: “Do you want us to give you back the quesarito?”

Worker: “I mean, like, why?”

Husband: “Because we’re getting our quesadilla?”

Worker: “Nah, man, you should eat it! It’s good. We’re all good.”

The window closed and we drove off.

An elderly man comes into the drive-thru with a coupon: two combos for $10.99. I punch everything in.

Me: “Your total is $11.54.”

He hands me fifty-five cents. I’m thinking, “Oh, he just handed me the loose change first and is going to hand me a twenty soon or something.”

Nope.

Me: *Politely* “Sir, you still need to pay the $11.”

Well! He isn’t having that!

Customer: *Upset* “But I gave you the coupon! Why should I have to pay?”

Me: *Again, politely* “The coupon is a discount off the full price, and the full price is somewhere closer to $18.”

Customer: *More upset* “But I gave you the coupon!”

Me: *Somehow still politely* “Yes, sir, and thank you, but the coupon is not money and it is not a gift certificate. It’s only good for about $7 off of the total, which is $18. You still have to pay $11.”

This goes on for a few more minutes. Thankfully, I have no other customers.

Customer: “I want to speak to the manager!”

No problem. I called her up from the office, and she tried to explain to him how coupons work before he declared that we were all idiots and he was never coming back here again.

The phone rings at work and I answer it.

Customer: “I want to speak to a manager.”

Me: “I’m a manager. How can I help you?”

Customer: “You’re a manager?”

Me: “I’m the assistant manager. The main manager is in a meeting right now.”

Customer: “Of course, they would be.”

Me: “What can I help you with?”

Customer: “When I order no tomatoes on my sandwich, that means I expect to not have tomatoes on my sandwich.”

Me: “I’m sorry that happened, but if you’d like to come up here, we’ll remake it for you.”

Customer: “No, you don’t understand. I had to pick tomatoes off my sandwich and got ketchup on my fingers. Then, when I checked the bag, there were no napkins!”

Me: “Again, I’m sorry for—”

Customer: “No, you need to work on your customer service skills and make sure you’re doing your job right. I don’t want apologies; I want you to do your job right and make sure that my order is correct before you give it to me!”

Me: “I’m sorry your order was incorrect. We would gladly remake—”

The customer hung up.

This is why I quit customer service. Some people can never be satisfied; they just want to yell.