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    Not Quite The Muffin Top Of The Class

    , | QLD, Australia | Food & Drink, Language & Words

    (I am working on drive-thru at a major fast food restaurant.)

    Me: “Welcome to [restaurant]. Please place your order.”

    Customer: “Can I have a bacon and egg muffin and a bacon and egg muffin?”

    Me: “So, two bacon and egg muffins.”

    Customer: “No… I want a bacon and egg muffin and a bacon and egg muffin.”

    Me: “Umm… so, two bacon and egg muffins?

    Customer: “No!”

    Me: “You just said you want a bacon and egg muffin and a bacon and egg muffin.”

    Customer: “I want a bacon muffin and a bacon and egg muffin.”

    Me: “So, two bacon and egg muffins, one without egg.”

    Customer: “No! Just give me two bacon and egg muffins.”

    Me: *gives up* “…Sure. That will just be $7.30 at the first window.”

    Give Them An Inch And They’ll Take A While

    , | USA | Food & Drink, Money

    (The chain restaurant I work for makes kid’s meals. They’re composed of a four-inch sandwich, a milk, soda, or juice box to drink, and apple slices, a cookie, or a bag of chips for a side. If the kid or parent wants something a tad different, we can always fudge the order a little. However, we can not stick a larger sandwich in instead of the four inch.)

    Customer: “Okay, I’d like a six-inch kid’s meal, please.”

    Boss: “I’m sorry, but the kid’s meals are only four-inch subs. You can get a six inch and make it a meal with a milk and apples instead however.”

    Customer: “That’s fine. I’ll pay extra for the six inch, then.”

    (I make the customer’s order and proceed to ring her through. Since it’s busy and I don’t want to cause issues, I throw in the reusable bag and toy for free, and don’t charge extra for the milk.)

    Me: “Okay, that will be [price].”

    Customer: *stares at me* “Why is it so expensive?”

    Me: “Well the six inch is [price], but since you said you wanted to treat it like a kid’s meal, I didn’t charge extra for the milk and threw in the bag without charge.”

    Customer: “But I’m confused. I’m looking at the menu and it says the kid’s meal is less than that. Why are you charging me so much?”

    Me: “Because you got a six inch instead.”

    Customer: “Whatever. I guess that’s fine. It’s just no one explained this to me. I’m so used to paying less! I mean, I come here all the time and you let me get a six inch kids meal for the price of a four inch one. So, why is this different?”

    Boss: “Because whenever people order a six inch, they get to the register and declare they’re getting a kid’s meal. We don’t want to cause friction, so we just charge it as such. However, she heard you order.”

    Me: “I can charge it as a four inch sandwich, just this once.”

    Customer: “FINE! Now I know, I guess. I just hate paying so much!”

    A Disservice To Good Parenting

    , | UK | Awesome Customers, Criminal/Illegal, Family & Kids, Wild & Unruly

    (I work in a department store. It is Halloween, and our best kid’s costumes are out on display. I am decorating the store with fake spiders, when a angry customer and his bratty kid comes up to me.)

    Me: *looking at child tearing down bunting* “Uh, kid? I’m going to have to ask you to stop that.”

    Customer: *scowls at me* “Don’t you DARE!”

    Me: “Is this your child, sir?”

    Customer: “Yep! He’s not going to stop for a minimum wage weirdo!”

    Me: “But, sir, he’s defacing store property! I have to ask you to replace that mannequin and the torn bunting.”

    Customer’s Kid: “Shut the f*** up!”

    (I pause in shock.)

    Customer: “That’s it boy! We don’t be polite to serving people! They’re below us!”

    Coworker: “Excuse me sir? I’m going to have to ask you to go, or I’ll call security.”

    Customer: “I’m not scared of you! I’ll bet you’re not even Christian!”

    (At this point, a nearby customer who has overheard everything walks over.)

    Nearby Customer: *completely calm* “No, I’m not. I do, however, have a brown belt in Brazilian Floor Ju-jitsu. Let’s step outside and discuss this, shall we? Or you can kindly replace the decorations and leave these kind people alone.”

    Customer: *turns pale* “L-let’s go son. I wanna leave this devil store.” *mumbles while shoving a note into my hands* “This stuff is crap anyway.”

    (The best part? The man and his kid had walked into some off-duty police officers, who found the man had stuffed a bunch of MP3 Players into his top!)

    How Quickly People Change

    , | Hilo, HI, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Top

    (I am working the cash register at a popular Tex-Mex chain. I am serving a customer who has been kind of rude, and seems like he is in a huge hurry. I have tried to be as pleasant and quick as possible.)

    Me: “So, your total is $34.”

    Customer: “Can you guys take tips?”

    Me: “No, I wish.”

    Customer: “Okay. Here. I’ll give you this $50, and just… um… forget my change.”

    (He did. He walks out leaving me the remainder, about $16!)

    Hot Food Can Leave You Feeling Warm & Fuzzy

    , | New Mexico, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Top

    (I am working the closing shift at a popular fast food place. It is a few minutes to closing, and I am in a hurry to get everything cleaned so I could go home when a police officer walks in.)

    Officer: *pulls out a note* “Um, you guys have baked potatoes, right?”

    Me: “Yes sir, sour cream and chive, bacon and cheese, and chili and cheese.”

    Officer: “The bacon and cheese, and a cheddar burger?”

    Me: “No problem. Was there anything else for you tonight?”

    Officer: “No, I think that’s it. It’s for a girl we just rescued. She got caught up in human trafficking and we wanted to get her something warm to eat.”

    (Shocked, I finished ringing up his order. I immediately tracked down my manager and convinced him to ring it up as a manager meal, which is free. I also wrote a note that said good luck. The officer thanked me and left. A week later, I saw on the news that she made it home safe.)

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