Fast Food | Calgary, AB, Canada
(I’ve just come in from putting out some trash and notice a woman a few meters behind me, so I decide to wait and hold the door open.)
Female customer: “Excuse me, what are you doing?”
Me: “I’m holding the door op–”
Female customer: “No, you’re being sexist! That’s what you are!”
Me: “Excuse me?”
Female customer: “You think that just because I’m a woman I can’t open a door for myself? I’ll have you know that I have been opening doors all my life.”
Me: “I don’t doubt that, ma’am. I was just trying to be polite.”
Female customer: “Pig! I am never going to eat here again!”
(She storms off as my manager, who is also a woman, walks by.)
Manager: “God, that girl needs to get laid!”
Fast Food | Novi, MI, USA
(This is at a soup shop where we offer samples.)
Customer: “Hi. Can I try the **** soup?”
Me: “Sure, but be careful – it’s very hot.”
(She proceeds to sip it without grabbing a spoon which is in her line of sight.)
Customer: “OW! That is really hot!”
(She hands it to her 6-year-old son who proceeds to do the same thing she just did.)
Child: “That burned my tongue!”
Customer: “You should warn people that your soup is hot!”
Me: “Would you buy the soup if it was cold?”
Customer: “Absolutely not.”
Fast Food | Ontario, Canada
Customer: “Just give me ketchup and mustard on the cheeseburger.”
Me: “Okay, ma’am.”
(I start to put the ketchup on the burger.)
Customer: “I didn’t ask for ketchup! I want a free cheeseburger now!”
Me: “Oh, I thought you did…”
Customer: “No, I didn’t. Give me a free cheeseburger.”
(I send the other cheeseburger back.)
Customer: “What are you doing?”
Me: “Getting you a new one?”
Customer: “What? Why?” I’m going to eat that one!”
Me: “Well, we can’t give you a free hamburger if you’re going to eat the new one.”
Customer: “Well, it’s for my baby.”
Me: “Ma’am, your order is for here, and you don’t have a baby with you.”
Customer: “Maybe it’s an invisible baby!”
Me: “… have a great day, ma’am.”
Fast Food | Minnesota, USA
Cashier, to me: “Can you please help me? I have no idea what this guy is saying.
Me: “Hi sir, how can I help you?”
Customer: “Yeah, I wanna cup of onions and cheese.”
Me: “Um, we don’t have that on the menu. Did you just want a side of onions?”
Customer: “NO! I want the onions… those little things.”
Me: “What do you mean? Did you want a burger with only onions?”
Customer: “NO! I want onions and cheese!”
Me: “Ok…” *I go to the back and get some onions in a cup* “Is this what you wanted?”
Customer: “No. I want a cup of onions and cheese.”
Me: “These are the only kind of onions we have here, sir.”
Customer: “No. What is this?” *picks up a milk jug*
Me: “A jug of milk…”
Customer: “Yeah, that’s what I want! What is so hard to understand what I’m saying?”
Me: “I don’t know… but those aren’t onions or cheese.”
Customer: “It’s a hamburger!”
Fast Food | Wisconsin, USA
(Our restaurant is in walking distance of an assisted living center so many of regulars are special needs adults. We get a regular group of four people who have to make their order the same way every time. The routine involves the four of them reading the menu board for about five minutes and then one of them ordering each of them a hamburger individually.)
Me: “Hey! What can I get you?”
Special Needs Adult: “I would like a hamburger and a hamburger and a hamburger and a hamburger.”
(An agitated customer who has been standing in line behind the group the entire time chimes in.)
Customer: “He would like four hamburgers. Can we hurry this up?”
Special Needs Adult: “No! I would like a hamburger and a hamburger and a hamburger and a hamburger.”
Customer: “Oh my god!”
Me: “So if I got this right you would like a hamburger and a hamburger and a hamburger and a hamburger?”
Special Needs Adult: “Yes, that’s right!”
Me: “You know what I think you need? A high five!”
Special Needs Adult: “You know I do!”
(I high five the guy over the counter and the other three all take a turn getting a high five.)
Customer: “This is just ridiculous!” *storms out of the store*
Fast Food | Medford, OR, USA
Me: “Hello, May I take your order?”
Customer: “Yes I’d like two bean burritos, 2 fah-jee-tuhs, grilled stuffed burritos, and a large drink.”
Me: “Fah-jee-tuh?”
Customer: “Yes!”
Me: “You mean fajitas?”
Customer: “No, we don’t pronounce it like that! We’re in America, not Mexico!”
Fast Food | Oregon, USA
Me: “Okay, will that be everything for you? For here or to go?”
Customer: “Here.”
Me: “That will be $8.42.”
(The customer pulls out a $1 bill and slaps it on the table.)
Customer: “Wham!”
Me: *blank stare*
(The customer’s girlfriend starts cracking up.)
Customer: “Oh. whoops! Lets try that one again…” *pulls out a $10 bill* “Wham!”
Fast Food | Edmonton, Canada
(I’m restocking a salad bar at a restaurant when a customer walks up to me.)
Customer: “Excuse me? You’re running out of espionage in the Salad bar.”
Me: “….excuse me? Espionage?”
Customer: “Yes, espionage.”
(He meant spinach, since I hadn’t gotten around to restocking that.)
Fast Food | Liberty, MO, USA
Customer: “I want a refund. NOW!”
Me: “What seems to be the problem, sir?”
Customer: “I came through the drive-thru about fifteen minutes ago, and you shorted me six tacos!”
Me: “…”
Customer: “Well?!”
Me: “We don’t have a drive-thru.”
Customer: *slinks out of the store*
Related:
Fibbing Fail
Cheapskates: FAIL
Guilt Trip: FAIL
Impersonating Your Boss: FAIL
Fast Food | Dallas, TX
Me: “Thank you for choosing ***, how may I help you?”
Customer: “Yes, I would like the patty melt meal.”
Me: “Okay, would you like the single or double meat?”
Customer: “I just want it the way it comes.”
Me: “Well, we have it in a single and a double meat.”
Customer: “I JUST WANT IT THE WAY IT COMES!”
(I didn’t want to piss her off anymore, so I just rang up the double meat. She eventually pulls to the first window.)
Customer: “EXCUSE ME SIR! Why weren’t you listening?”
Me: “I was, ma’am.”
Customer: “NO YOU WEREN’T! I HAD TO TELL YOU 3 TIMES!”
Me: “Ma’am, we have a double meat or a single meat of the burger. You wouldn’t answer my question.”
Customer: “I JUST WANT IT THE WAY IT COMES!”
(At this point, I’m just like screw it and I apologized and gave her the change.)
Me: “Have a good–”"
Customer: “Oh, and I want that with mayonnaise instead of the sauce you put on it.”
Me: “……”
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