Allergic To Common Sense, Part 5

, | Peterborough, ON, Canada | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I’m working in the back making orders. One comes up on the screen for a burger, no tomato. The cashier gets my attention.)

Cashier: “[My Name], that ‘no tomato’ is an allergy.”

(I go through the normal process of swapping utensils, cleaning the work area and so forth. I start making the burger and pause halfway as a thought occurs.)

Me: “Hey, [Cashier], that tomato allergy? It’s no ketchup either, then?”

(The cashier asks.)

Cashier: “No, they said it’s fine. Actually they want extra.”

Related
Allergic To Common Sense, Part 4
Allergic To Common Sense, Part 3
Allergic To Common Sense, Part 2

Unfortunate Opening Words

, | Tempe, AZ, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Time

(I am prepping the store for open, and can see [Regular] standing right outside the front door, waiting for nearly 15 minutes.)

Me: *unlocking the door and exactly six am, our open time* “Good morning, [Regular]! I’ve got some coffee already brewed for you.”

Regular: “Boy, you guys sure wait until the laaaast minute to open those doors.”

Me: “Well, we open at six, which it just turned right now.”

Regular: “Yeah, I know. Still. You’ve been here a while already….”

Hotly Disputed

, | Tempe, AZ, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

Me: “Good morning, [Regular]. I was just about to make some fresh coffee, since this pot is almost 45 minutes old. Did you want some of this or would you like to wait for the fresh pot.”

Regular: “The fresh pot; I want the hot, fresh stuff.”

(I bring her a hot, fresh cup six minutes later, right after it finished brewing.)

Regular: “Can you get me some ice cubes for this? I don’t know why you guys have to brew it so hot. I practically gotta let it sit for half an hour before I can touch it…”

A Very Crisp Line

, | Tempe, AZ, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I work the opening shift at a fast food restaurant that’s well-known for their chicken. We have an elderly, regular customer who is originally from the New England area, as made obvious by both her accent and attitude. Every week, she has a new complaint. These are some of my favorites.)

Me: “Good morning, [Regular]! What can I get for you today?”

Regular: “I wanna get a number three with the bacon EXTRA crispy. Last week, you guys didn’t make it extra crispy like I like it!”

Me: “Sorry about that. I’ll make sure it gets made correctly this time.”

(The next week:)

Me: “Good morning, [Regular], having the usual today?”

Regular: “Yeah, but make sure the bacon isn’t too crispy. You guys made it WAAAY to crispy last time.”

Me: “I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize they had burnt it!”

Regular: “It wasn’t burnt, just too crispy. I want it extra crispy, but not TOO crispy.”

Not Feline This Sub

, | ON, Canada | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Pets & Animals

(I work in a popular sandwich shop.)

Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I’d like a tuna sub please.”

(I make the sandwich and the customer pays and leaves. Forty minutes later the customer comes back with an oddly mulled sandwich.)

Customer: “Hi, I’d like to exchange this for a new sub.”

Me: “I’m sorry. Was there something wrong with the tuna?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Then what’s wrong with it?”

Customer: “I brought it home and went to get something done. I came back to the kitchen and my cat was on the table eating it.”

Me: *blinking in shock* “I’m sorry, sir, but we aren’t responsible for your pets eating your food…”

Customer: “YOU SHOULD REPLACE THIS! THE SANDWICH IS DAMAGED AND I CAN’T EAT IT! YOU SHOULD REPLACE IT!”

(I can be very sarcastic when annoyed.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but we can’t. We can, however, see about getting your cat its own sub card.”

(The customer proceeded to throw the sub, which was filled with cat hair, on the counter and scream at my me, threatening to call corporate on me before storming out. If the cat was rating the sub we’d have gotten two paws up because most of it was gone.)

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