November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Our Way Or Go Away

| Canada | Bizarre, Food & Drink

(Our meals always comes with rice or noodles and is the first step in the plating process.)

Customer: “Okay! I’d like your orange chicken.”

Employee: “Great! Would you like rice or noodles to start?”

Customer: “I like to start with the orange chicken.”

Employee: “Sure! But our plates start with rice or noodles.”

Customer: *smirks, backs away, puts away his tray* “Well then, if you like it YOUR way.” *mumbles something and walks away; complains to his wife how we like it OUR way*

Getting A Proper Grilling

| NJ, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Funny Names

(The customer is a man about 50 years old. He orders a number 12, which is a chicken sandwich. I ask him if he wants crispy or grilled chicken and he says grilled. A few minutes after getting his food he comes back up to the counter.)

Customer: “This isn’t what I wanted.”

Me: *opens box* “This is a grilled chicken sandwich.”

Customer: “I wanted the grill.”

Me: “…Right. This is grilled.”

Customer: “No. You just said this is chicken! I didn’t want chicken. I wanted the grill.”

Me: “You ordered a chicken sandwich grilled… that’s what it says on your receipt.”

Customer: “I did want the grill, but I didn’t want chicken!”

Me: *blank stare* “I don’t understand.”

Customer: “The grill! I wanted the grill! You asked me crispy or grilled and I wanted the grill!”

Me: “The number 12 is a chicken sandwich, sir. That’s what you ordered.”

Customer: “I don’t want chicken. I want the grill.”

Me: “…Did you want a burger?”

Customer: “Yes! A grilled burger! I wanted the grill!”

A Sour Attitude

, | NJ, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

(I ring up a customer for a sweet tea. The sweet tea is self-serve, but we have lemon slices in the back that we can give the customer if requested.)

Customer: “I want lemon.”

Me: “Sure, no problem.” *puts slice of lemon in a small cup as is customary, and hands it to her*

Customer: *looks inside, makes disgusted face, gives it back* “No. That’s not what I wanted. I want SOME lemon.”

Me: “Um, we usually just give out one slice. How many did you want?”

Customer: “Whatever you consider to be SOME lemon.”

Me: *hesitantly gives her two more slices* “Here you go?”

Customer: “That’s too much.” *gives one back and walks away*

Should Have Explained More Plainly

, | Basildon, England, UK | Food & Drink, Language & Words

(I work throughout college. A woman approaches my till with her young daughter.)

Me: “Hi, what would you like today?”

(The woman leans down and says to her daughter loud enough for everyone to hear:)

Woman: “See? THIS is what happens when you don’t do well at school!” *stands up and gives her order extremely slowly, pronouncing every syllable deliberately while I’m trying not to laugh* “…and a plain burger. PLAIN. Do you know what that means?”

Me: “Yes, I’m aware. That’ll be [total], please.”

Woman: “No… No, is that burger PLAAAIN?”

Me: “Yeees, I put that through. [Total], please.”

Woman: “Explain what plain means for me so I’m sure.”

Me: “It means plain, devoid of condiments, bereft of ketchup, void of mustard, a lack of lettuce and onions, nothing but a solitary burger on a lonely bun, the isolated meat longing for the sweet embrace of salads and sauces but doomed to remain on its barren bed awaiting sweet consumption.”

Woman: “What does that mean?”

Me: *head-desk* “[Total], please.”

Her Attitude Rings Hollow

| San Diego, CA, USA | Bad Behavior

(I got engaged a few months back, and we don’t have a lot of money, but my ring is beautiful nonetheless. This woman comes in, and she orders, notices my ring, and screws up her face like she just ate something really sour.)

Customer #1: “May I see your… ring?”

Me: “Oh, sure.”

(She starts inspecting it and it sounded like she started choking. She goes back to ordering, when I notice that her necklace detached and is falling off of her neck.)

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry but I think your necklace is about to fall.”

(She gets upset with me for some reason, and then sees that it is in fact about to fall on the floor and fixes it, then looks at me with a smug look on her face.)

Customer #1: “Thank you for that. If this had fallen, it would have shattered. This is VERY expensive.”

Me: “Okay.”

Customer #1: “It isn’t costume jewelry.”

Me: “Okay.”

(After she sits down to eat her food with a group of people, I collect trays in the dining area, and their group has a few of them. I think they would like to clear away the trays so they have more room. Another lady who is a regular is sitting with them.)

Me: “Hi, I’d be happy to take your tray for you if you’d like.”

Customer #2: That’d be great! Thank you, [My Name]!”

Me: “It’s no problem. I’m happy to do it.”

Customer #1: “Have you seen her ring?”

Customer #2: “Yes, isn’t it beautiful?”

Customer #1: “No, it’s awful. How come you wear that ugly fake jewelry? Do you think it makes you look important?”

Me: “Um… I wear it because it’s my engagement ring. I think it’s beautiful.”

Customer #2: *to me* “It is beautiful and it’s the meaning behind it that counts.”

(I tried to avoid them the rest of the time they were there, and my coworkers who had overheard had me wash dishes so I wouldn’t have to deal with that customer. The nice customer and the rest of her party are still regulars, but I’ve never seen the rude customer since.)