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    Running Onion Rings Around Common Sense

    , | Eagle River, AK, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Math & Science, Money

    (At our store, ordering a combo will always be cheaper than ordering the three items separately. This applies for all sides, not just fries. Our menu and prices reflect this, and most people have no problem understanding.)

    Customer: “I’d like a number three combo, but with onion rings instead of fries.”

    Me: “No problem. That’ll be [price].”

    (The customer gets his food to go, pays, and then demands to talk to me when he sees his receipt.)

    Me: “What’s the trouble, sir?”

    Customer: “I was supposed to pay an dollar for those rings!”

    Me: “No, sir. If you’ll notice our prices, you ordered the combo meal, which means the onion rings are cheaper than if you’d ordered them separately.”

    (I point out the two different prices, clearly labelled as ‘alone’ and ‘replacing fries’. However, he barely glances at where I’m pointing.)

    Customer: “Your menu is misleading!”

    Me: “I’m sorry if you thought that sir, but you are paying for a dollar cheaper than if you’d—”

    Customer: “I want to see the manager!”

    (The manager has been listening this whole time, and comes over. He tells the customer the exact same thing I’ve been telling him.)

    Customer: “Well… your prices are still misleading! I can’t believe I paid this!”

    Manager: “Sir, I’m sorry you feel that way, but as my employee has been telling you, our prices are clearly listed, and you actually saved money by getting the combo. I honestly don’t see the problem here.”

    Customer: “The problem is that your prices are misleading!”

    (He takes his food and storms out. The manager just shrugs and makes to return to his office, but an eat-in customer steps up to the counter.)

    Customer #2: “Excuse me, folks? I want to register a complaint against you!”

    Me: “Yes, sir?”

    Customer #2: *smiles* “I want to complain because I’m actually saving money, and you’re giving me a good deal!”

    Training Draining

    , | Australia | At The Checkout, Food & Drink

    (It’s around 12 pm. I’m training a new girl on her third shift. She’s never been on register before, so I’m walking her through it before I teach her how to serve. Our register layout has changed that day, so every employee on shift is re-learning it. All of a sudden, a woman who has been standing in line for around two minutes walks straight up to the register. The register has a sign on it clearly stating that it is closed.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, do you have to do that now?”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Customer: “It’s lunchtime, and you’re training! Do you have to do that now?”

    Me: “I’m sorry ma’am, but this is her training shift and—”

    Customer: “I don’t care! I’ve been standing here for ten minutes! You have one girl serving and it’s extremely busy!”

    (We have around five customers besides her, three of whom have ordered and paid.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, I’ll get you my manager.”

    Customer: “It’s lunch time!”

    Manager: “Hi, what seems to be the problem today?”

    Customer: “This girl is being extremely rude to me and refusing to serve me!”

    Manager: “I’m sorry, but as you can see, this register is closed. Our trainee is currently being trained. If you’ll just step into that line over there, we’ll take your order.”

    Customer: “It’s lunch time! Are you all stupid!?. Some of us are on our meal breaks!”

    Manager: “I’m sorry about that, ma’am.”

    Customer: “This line isn’t even moving!”

    (The manager is needed in two other parts of the store at this point, so she instructs me to have the trainee serve the customer, and then get back to training her.)

    Customer: “Finally. It’s lunch time!”

    (The customer then proceeds to rattle off a long and extremely complicated order. This is difficult for both the trainee and myself and takes around five minutes to put through her order. She begins screaming about slow service around halfway through. The trainee is nearly in tears by this point.)

    Customer: “Oh, for God’s sake! You’re so f***ing slow! Don’t you know how to use a register?”

    Me: *finally losing my patience* “No, she doesn’t. That’s what I was trying to teach her before.”

    Customer: “I want to talk to your manager!”

    Manager: “I’m sorry, I’m going to have to ask you to leave. You have been extremely rude to my staff, who are only doing as they have been instructed to do. Here is your food.”

    Customer: “You can’t do this to me! I’m going to your owners, and I’m going to your head office! What’s your name? What’s her name?”

    (The manager gives both of our names.)

    Customer: “I’M GOING TO HAVE YOU BOTH FIRED!”

    (The customer then proceeds to charge out of the store, still ranting about poor service.)

    Manager: “Yeah, have fun with that.”

    Santa Vs Jason

    , | Campbellton, NB, Canada | Extra Stupid, Holidays, Theme Of The Month, Time

    (Our restaurant is promoting several new products for the holidays, and the lobby and seating area are festively decorated. Two young women walk in with bags of Christmas wrap and the like. My manager and I overhear them having a brief conversation.)

    Customer #1: “So, I guess Christmas falls on a Friday this year.”

    Customer #2: “Oh my God. I really hope it’s not on the 13th!”

    Customer #1: “Really, right? That would suck. Let me check the calendar on my phone to make sure.”

    Customer #2: “Good idea! I’m celebrating the night before if it is!”

    Putting Pickles Before People Will Put You In A Pickle

    , | Raleigh, NC, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

    (It’s very close to Christmas and I’m on my break in the mall’s food court. The line I’m in is long; I notice there’s a customer with a young daughter throwing a fit, which is holding up the line.)

    Customer: “I specifically said no pickles! I’m a very busy woman; I don’t have time for you to correct your stupid mistake! You should have gotten it right the first d*** time!”

    (The customer continues to rant, at length, about how poor the service is and how she’s too busy to deal with it. This goes on for a few minutes while her daughter looks embarrassed and the rest of the customers in line are getting agitated. Finally, I decide to speak up.)

    Me: “Hey! Lady! It’s Christmas! We’re all busy. So how about you shut up, take the pickles off your own d*** sandwich, and stop acting like an a** in front of your kid? We all have lives we’d like to get back to!”

    (The customer tries to respond, but stops when she realizes the rest of the customers in line are applauding. She takes her food and drags her daughter off with a huff. The other customers actually push me to the front of the line, where the cashier looks nearly in tears, but is very relieved.)

    Cashier: “Thank you so much.”

    Me: “You’re welcome. Nobody deserves that kind of attitude today!”

    (The cashier gave me a free drink, and the man behind me in line insisted on paying for my order out of ‘The Christmas Spirit’.)

    So-da Pressing

    , | WI, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

    (A customer asks for the manager, and seems clearly upset.)

    Manager: “Is there something I can help you with?”

    Customer: “Yes! Why are you using [soda brand] products? You know they have fetuses in them! How dare you use their product?”

    Manager: “Ma’am, I can assure you there are no—”

    Customer: “YES THERE ARE! I want to know why you’re using their product when they have fetuses in them!”

    Manager: “Let me get the head manager.”

    (She comes back with the head manager.)

    Head manager: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we can’t decide what kind of soda products we use. That is up to corporate to decide. It’s not our personal decision to choose a specific type of soda.”

    Customer: “But they have fetuses in them!”

    Head manager: “Well, if you would like to complain, I would go ahead and contact corporate about the soda. I’m sorry, but I can’t do more for you.”

    Customer: “Well, I can’t believe you would use [soda brand]! They have fetuses in them!”

    (I’ve dealt with some unique people at that place, but she takes the cake!)

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