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    The Less This Employee Nose, The Better

    , | Kennebunk, ME, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Health & Body

    (Our store has just started their avocado promotion which seems to be very popular.)

    Customer: “My husband wants avocado on his sandwich… weirdo!”

    Me: “Yeah, I’m not a big fan either, to be honest.” *starts putting avocado on her sandwich*

    Customer: “Ew! I don’t know how he can cut an avocado in half and just scoop out the guts. Gross!”

    Me: “Oh, does he?”

    Customer: “Yeah! It’s so nasty! He’s so weird! If I want to eat anything green and goopy, it better be coming out of my own nose!”

    For Bitter Or Worse

    , | Montana, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

    (I have been working at the same fast food restaurant since high school. That was a little over four years ago, so a lot of the regulars know me pretty well. I’m also usually mistaken for being much younger than I actually am, especially when I have my hair pulled up. I am also a recent newlywed, and my wedding band doesn’t look like the typical wedding band.)

    Me: “Hi, welcome to [fast food restaurant]. What can I get you?”

    Regular Customer: “Oh, that is a pretty ring!”

    (The customer points to my wedding band, which is silver with a gold Celtic Claddagh in the center.)

    Regular Customer: “Who got that for you?

    Me: “Oh, it is my wedding band. My husband got it for me.”

    Regular Customer: *blank stare*

    Me: “…Ma’am?”

    Regular Customer: *starts yelling* “You are FAR to young to get married! This is insane! I need to speak to your manager!”

    (At this point, I don’t know what to do, so I go get one of supervisors.)

    Supervisor: “What seems to be the problem, ma’am?”

    Regular Customer: “Did you know that this young woman is married? She is too young to get married! Was she forced? How can you allow something like this to happen to one of your coworkers?”

    Supervisor: “Ma’am, how old do you think she is?”

    Regular Customer: “She can’t be more than seventeen… Oh, I know!” *to me* “You are pregnant, aren’t you?”

    Me: *completely shocked* “No, ma’am, I’m not pregnant. And I’m not seventeen. I’m 21.”

    Regular Customer: “No, you aren’t, I’ve been coming here for years. You are seventeen, and you are probably pregnant which is why you were forced into marriage.” *to my supervisor* “What is this world coming to these days?!”

    Me: “Here ma’am, take a look at my ID.”

    (The customer looks at my ID, which clearly shows that I am 21.)

    Regular Customer: *frustrated* “Well, you’re still young to be married. It must have been a shotgun wedding!”

    Teachers Make A Difference

    , | Sydney, Australia | Math & Science

    (I’m working in the drive-thru, and am taking customer’s orders and their money. His daughter is sitting in the passenger’s seat.)

    Me: “So, that’ll be $28.10. Thanks!”

    (The customer hands me $50.10.)

    Customer: “So, how much change do I get?”

    Me: “$22.”

    Customer: “You cheated! That was an easy one! Sorry, I’m a maths teacher.”

    Me: *laughs* “Oh, that’s alright. But it’s the school holidays!”

    Customer: “Maths doesn’t take holidays!”

    Me: “You’re right. Well, enjoy the rest of your holidays!”

    Customer’s Daughter: *looks very embarrassed* “Sorry, he does this everywhere we go!”

    This Sauce Has A Bite To It

    , | Maryland, USA | Food & Drink, Language & Words

    Me: “Would you like any sauces or ketchup, sir?”

    Customer: “Yea, I’ll take some of that Pomeranian Sauce.”

    Me: “Pardon?”

    Customer: “Pomeranian Sauce!”

    Me: “Uh… you mean Polynesian Sauce?”

    Customer: “Oh! Yeah, that’s it!”

    Would You Like Your Scam For Here Or To Go

    , | Missouri, USA | Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers

    (It is not very busy, but we are short-staffed so everyone is working hard. My manager helps me bag a particularly big order.)

    Me: “Okay, ma’am, I believe my manager and I got all of your food. But, just in case, let me go over your receipt again.”

    Customer: “Okay.”

    (We go over the receipt together and find everything is correct.)

    Customer: “Thank you, dear.”

    Me: “You are very welcome, ma’am!”

    Manager: “Did you go over her order again before you let her leave?”

    Me: “Yes!”

    (Five minutes later a man walks in brandishing a receipt and yelling.)

    Man: “You idiots messed up my order!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. Can I help you?”

    Man: “Yeah, I came through drive-thru and didn’t get half of my order!”

    (I look over the receipt and see it is from the previous customer that I just helped.)

    Me: “Sir, I don’t think this is your order. I packed this order a few minutes ago, and it was for a lady on counter.”

    Man: “How dare you accuse me of lying! I want to talk to your manager!”

    Me: “Fine.”

    (The manager proceeds to tell him the same thing, but he won’t stop screaming at her. Eventually, he demands to see the store manager.)

    Store Manager: “What seems to be the problem, sir?”

    Man: “Look, I came through the drive-thru. This is my receipt, but your stupid employees won’t give me my food!”

    Store Manager: “Well, sir, I am certain this is not your receipt.”

    Man: “Oh yeah? Prove it!”

    Store Manager: “Well, the top of the receipt says the order was taken from the register at the counter, which means it could not have been for a drive-thru order. And, according to the receipt, this was ‘Katie’s’ order. You don’t look like a ‘Katie.’”

    Man: *thinks for a minute, then leaves defeated*


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