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    On The Need For Hazard Pay, Part 4

    , | USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

    (It is late at night. I’m doing headset on all drive-thru lanes, and handling money by myself. I am talking to a customer at the window.)

    Me: “Hello! Your total is $[total] tonight.”

    (I take the money, and another car pulls up. I greet them while I count change.)

    Me: “Good evening! Order when you are ready.”

    (I turn back to the window.)

    Me: “Here is your change, sir. Have a great night!”

    Customer: “Why are you talking to yourself? Are you slow or something? I don’t want your kind handling my money!”

    Me: “Uh… I was just greeting the customer who pulled up to the speaker.”

    (As we are talking, I am typing in the next customer’s order.)

    Customer: “I’m the only one here! What are you doing now? Hey! Answer me!”

    (I am now ignoring the guy yelling at me through the closed window.)

    Me: “Your total will be $[total] at your first window, ma’am. Please pull forward.”

    Customer: *banging on the window* “You can’t ignore me! I’m a paying customer! Open the window!”

    (I yell through the window.)

    Me: “Please pull forward, sir! You are blocking the next customer.”

    Customer: *suddenly very calm* “Okay, I’m sorry. But could I get another copy of my receipt? I dropped the one you gave me.”

    (I oblige and print him a new receipt. When I open the window he suddenly grabs my arm and tries to pull me out of the window. My screaming alerts my manager, who pulls me back inside, and locks the window shut while the customer speeds off with their food.)

    Manager: “What the h*** was all that about?! He nearly kidnapped you!”

    (I don’t work nights anymore…)

    Related:
    On The Need For Hazard Pay, Part 3
    On The Need For Hazard Pay, Part 2
    On The Need For Hazard Pay

    That Would Not Be A Happy Meal

    , | San Diego, CA, USA | Food & Drink, Rude & Risque, Top

    (Everyone in the kitchen wears headsets to hear the drive-thru. This is so we can make the order while the customer is ordering.)

    Me: “Hey, how are you today?”

    Customer: “Just a sec… s***!”

    Me: *deadpan* “I’m sorry, sir; we don’t serve that here.”

    (The entire kitchen erupts in laughter.)

    Customer: *also laughing* “If I wanted that, I’d go to [competitor]!”

    Some Customers Have Good Taste

    , | New York City, NY, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Top

    (I work at a fast food chain. I have just finished dealing with an absolutely horrendous customer, but I cannot take a break yet. My boss is sympathetic, but a little strict about breaks. I steel myself for the next customer.)

    Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”

    Customer: “One second, sorry.”

    (She is writing something on a slip of paper.)

    Customer: “Okay, thanks for waiting. Can I get some sweet tea? Also, that last guy was a jerk. Here!”

    (She hands me the piece of paper. It says: ‘notalwaysright.com’.)

    Customer: “If you need to feel better, then go here!”

    (Thank you so much, miss! I had never heard of this site before today, and I’m so glad you were kind to me!)

    They Are Calorie Counting On Each Other

    , | Eugene, OR, USA | At The Checkout, Bigotry, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month, Top

    (I am a customer. There’s a woman in line ahead of me, already at the register and ordering for herself and three kids, and a guy behind me. Another customer comes in. He looks to be in a rush, muttering under his breath about people not ordering until they know what they want. The young woman working the register has a slight but obvious German accent, but not thick enough to present any difficulty communicating at all. I get to the counter.)

    Me: “Hi! I’d like a regular meal, but can I substitute the drink with a shake?”

    (The cashier repeats it back to me, as one would logically do to make sure. The impatient customer barks at her.)

    Impatient Customer: “If you spoke English right, you’d know that’s what he said the first time!”

    Me: “I’ll bet her English is a h*** of a lot better than your German, dude.”

    Impatient Customer: “I don’t have to know that s***, because we’re in America!”

    Me: “And I can take my time giving her my order… because we’re in America.”

    (I turn to the cashier.)

    Me: “Do you still have any of the strawberry pies tonight?”

    Cashier: “Yes, sir. Would you like one?”

    Me: “I don’t know. Is the calorie amount listed for them on the menu right?”

    (The cashier smiles as she catches on.)

    Cashier: “I believe so, sir. If you’ll wait just a moment, I’ll bring the official list from the office to make sure.”

    (As she starts to turn toward the office, a second cashier comes from the back and tells her that she’ll go get it for her. The impatient customer has had enough. He starts moaning to the customer in line behind me.)

    Impatient Customer: “This is bull-s***!”

    Customer Behind Me: “Those pies sound good. I want to know more about them.”

    (The impatient customer turns to the cashier.)

    Impatient Customer: “Get your manager!”

    (The second cashier is just putting a key in the office door. She turns toward the impatient customer and smiles.)

    Second Cashier: “I’m the manager, sir. I’ll be happy to help you as soon as I get the nutritional information for the gentleman who is being served right now. You’ll be served when your turn comes, or I can ring you up myself as soon as I get the list. I’m not sure where it is in there, though, so I may be a while.”

    (The impatient customer is now red-faced, and turns to each of us as he enunciates each word, looking at me first.)

    Impatient Customer: “F***. ALL. OF. YOU! I’m going to [other fast food chain]!”

    (He storms out and we all start laughing. I look at my watch.)

    Me: “[Other fast food chain] closed three minutes ago.”

    Perhaps He Can’t Count That High

    , | MT, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Top

    (A family approach my counter.)

    Customer: “Uh. Can I get a number six, with mac and cheese? And a medium drink.”

    (His family orders their food, and I make the sandwich—his number six— and plate the rest of the food. Our number six doesn’t come with a biscuit, but his father and mother’s meals do.)

    Customer: “Hey. HEY!”

    Me: “Yes, sir?”

    Customer: “We’re short one biscuit.”

    (Even though I know he isn’t, I give him one. Five minutes later, I see him stand up, and start screaming.)

    Customer: “IT’S NOT JUST THIS RESTAURANT; IT’S ALL FAST FOOD!”

    (He barges up, and slams his sandwich down.)

    Customer: “I ORDERED A NUMBER 12! THIS HAS A BUN! I WANTED THE ONE WITH NO BUN!

    Me: “Oh, gosh, I’m sorry! I thought you said number six! That one comes with a bun! Sorry, again!”

    Customer: “I DID ORDER A NUMBER SIX, BUT I WANTED A NUMBER 12! WASN’T IT OBVIOUS!?”

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