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    Causing Disorder

    | Toronto, ON, Canada. | Bigotry, Health & Body

    (I have ASD—autism spectrum disorder.)

    Coworker: “What is it like to have ASD?”

    Me: “Well, it’s not that bad really.”

    (Just then, a customer walks into the chain.)

    Me: “Oh, hello, ma’am. What would you like?”

    Customer: “What’s not so bad?”

    Me: “Oh, it’s just that I have ASD. I was being asked what it’s like to live with it.”

    Customer: “What!?”

    Me: “I’m sorry. What did I say?”

    Customer: “YOU PEOPLE SHOULDN’T BE HERE!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I have to work somehow.”

    Customer: “GET OUT! YOU ARE TOO DISABLED TO WORK!”

    Coworker: “Ma’am, she is one of the smartest people I know!”

    Customer: “Bull-s***! You people are stupid! You are in wheelchairs, and drool out of your mouths!”

    (All of a sudden the customer GRABS me by my shirt, and tries to pull me out of the counter. My friend tries to free me.)

    Customer: “GET OUT! GET OUT! YOU’RE KILLING THE MARKET! GET OUT!”

    (After three minutes of useless attempts to free me, my friend calls mall security. The yelling customer is dragged away, and is banned for life.)

    I Should Be So Ducky

    | IL, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Money

    Me: “Hi, welcome to [fast food place]! How can I help you?”

    Elderly Customer: “Yes. I’ll have a small hamburger, a small fry, and a small coffee, for here, please.”

    Me: “Certainly. Would you like cream and sugar with your coffee?”

    Elderly Customer: “Of course. Two cream, and two sugar, please.”

    Me: “Your total is $[total].”

    (The Elderly Customer hands me more than enough to cover the meal.)

    Elderly Customer: “Keep the change.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. We’re not allowed to take tips.”

    Elderly Customer: “Really? What’s this world coming to! Customers should be allowed to tip for good service.”

    Me: “I’m really sorry about that, sir. Here’s your food. Is there anything else that you would like?”

    Elderly Customer: “No, thanks.”†

    (He takes his food off to the lobby. A short while later, he’s back at my register.)

    Me: “Did you need a refill on your coffee, sir?”

    Elderly Customer: “Yes, please.”

    (I refill his coffee. When I return with his cup, he takes it, smiles at me, and leaves the store. Sitting on the counter where he was standing, is a small balloon duck. The duck has a note.)

    Note: “This isn’t a tip; he’s a gift. I hope that he brings a smile to your face.”

    Tray Fray

    , | Burlington, VT, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Wild & Unruly

    (Due to new public safety standards, we now have to machine wash all dirty trays instead of merely wiping them down with a disinfectant and paper towel.)

    Me: “You’re order will be right out, ma’am. Thank you.”

    (My coworker brings out her bag of food.)

    Customer: “I said I wanted this for here.”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am, but as I mentioned all our trays are dirty and we’re only bagging the food at the moment. You’re more than welcome to eat in the lobby if you’d like, but we can’t offer you a tray.”

    Customer: “What about those?” *points to dirty pile of trays over a trash can* “Can’t I just have one of those?”

    Me: “Uh, no ma’am. Those are all dirty trays. I can’t give you any of those.”

    Customer: “Just wipe one down; it’ll be fine.”

    Me: “Sorry, ma’am, I can’t do that. It’s against health codes.”

    Customer: “Just wipe it down! You’re just being lazy!”

    (Note: the customer is getting so agitated that other customers are backing away from her.)

    Me: “No, I’m not. I’m really just waiting for the trays to be brought back up from the dish area. They’ll be clean soon.”

    Customer: “God, I can’t believe you’d be so rude and lazy not to give me a tray!”

    (Without warning, the customer throws her bag full of food at my face. It’s filled with cardboard sandwich boxes and hot fries inside, so she takes a solid chunk out of my cheek and I start bleeding.)

    Customer: “That’ll teach you to be rude to a customer!” *shoves two customers out of the way and leaves*

    Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 3

    , | AB, Canada | Awesome Workers, Bad Behavior, Top

    (I arrive at work an hour and a half early because I forgot what time I started. I decide to sit in the lobby and have lunch before my shift. I notice that the trash can is in dire need of being emptied and that the front counter is busier than usual. I start to tie the bag up, when a customer screeches at me.)

    Customer:What do you think you’re doing?”

    Me: “Just changing the garbage, ma’am. It was full to overflowing and it was too busy for someone to leave their post and do it.”

    Customer: “You don’t have to do that young man! You’re not one of these dropouts that lives in their parent’s basements who can’t do anything better with their lives! What are you taking?”

    Me: “I’m planning on becoming an licensed practical nurse. But, ma’am, I don’t just go to school. I work to pay my bills. As a matter of fact, I live in a condo my mother owns. She does not live with me, and I pay rent to her. I pay for my electricity, my internet, and my heating. How do I earn the money for this you ask?”

    (At this point I remove my hat from my bag, put it on and remove my coat, revealing that I am dressed in my work uniform.)

    Me: “I work here, taking whatever hours I can get. A student without anything on their resume will take any job they can. ”

    (I point to one of my coworkers who is mopping the floors at the back of the store.)

    Me: “She’s a neuroscience student. Just like me she has bills to pay. Please remember in the future that people who work in fast food are not always drop outs, but more often than not students trying to fund their education. If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to take out this trash, unless you would like me to help extract your foot from your mouth first.”

    (Flustered and obviously embarrassed, the customer leaves the store in a hurry. My manager, who is also a classmate of mine, speaks with me once I return from the dumpsters.)

    Manager: “Technically, you could be fired for badmouthing a customer while on the job like that.”

    Me: “Technically, I’m not working right now! I haven’t clocked in, and my shift’s not for another half hour.”

    Manager: “Well then, brave citizen, how does free apple pie sound?”

    (I accepted, of course. You just don’t say no to free pie!)

    Related:
    Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 2

    A Weebly Weird Conversation

    , , | ON, Canada | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Musical Mayhem

    (I am waiting in line at a fast food restaurant. The couple behind me, who looks to be in their late twenties, are discussing their orders.)

    Guy: “Have you tried the bacon, mushroom and Swiss cheese burger?”

    Girl: “Yeah, it wasn’t bad, but I’m not a huge fan of mushrooms.”

    Guy: *starts singing super quietly* “Mushroom! Mushroom!”

    Girl: *also super quietly* “It’s a snake! A snaaaaaake! A snaaaaake!”

    Both: “Badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger!”

    (They then go back to their conversation about various menu items, completely normal.)

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