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    Seize The (Mother’s) Day

    , | VA, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Top

    (It is Mother’s Day, and my mother has had a hard and disappointing day. Due to a failed dinner by her husband, I take her to a fast-food restaurant at about 9pm. She starts speaking at the counter.)

    Mom: “Happy Mother’s Day to me, at [fast food restaurant] at nine at night.”

    Cashier: “Yeah, I’ve been here all day.”

    Mom: “Oh, really!? Wow.”

    (We finish ordering and eat our food. As we are leaving, my mother is staring into the kitchen. The cashier, thinking we need something, comes over. We wave her away. We get into the car, but my mother stops me from starting the engine.)

    Mom: “I have decided we should do something for the woman in there. Here I was complaining, while they have been working all day. They probably weren’t able to spend time with their families.”

    (We drive to the nearby store. She buys two bouquets of flowers, and two boxes of chocolates. We go back to the restaurant. My mom approaches the cashier.)

    Mom: “You’re a mother, aren’t you?”

    Cashier: “Yes, I am.”

    Mom: “Well, I thought you deserved these.”

    (Mom gives the woman the flowers and chocolates. The cashier thanks her repeatedly, looking on the verge of tears. My mother leaves feeling a lot better. Even though her day wasn’t what she had hoped it would be, she at least got to make someone else’s better.)

    I Say Toh-May-Toh, You Say Burger

    | Williamsburg, VA, USA | Food & Drink, Language & Words

    (I am ordering fast-food with my friend. He does not like tomato or pickles, and I do not like onions or pickles.)

    Friend: “I’ll have a burger with no tomato and no pickles.”

    (The employee takes rest of his order, and then it’s my turn.)

    Me: “I’ll have a tomato; no pickle, no onions.”

    Employee: “What?”

    Me: “I’ll have a tomato; no pickle, no onions.”

    Employee: “What?”

    (I get agitated, wondering what’s so difficult.)

    Me: “I want a tomato; no pickle, no onions!”

    Friend: “Dude, what are you saying?”

    Me: “I said I want a tomato with no pickle and no onions—”

    (I finally realize what I’ve been saying.)

    Me: “Wait… wow… sorry! I’ll have a burger, with no pickle and no onions.”

    (We all burst out laughing at my silliness.)

    On The Need For Hazard Pay, Part 4

    , | USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

    (It is late at night. I’m doing headset on all drive-thru lanes, and handling money by myself. I am talking to a customer at the window.)

    Me: “Hello! Your total is $[total] tonight.”

    (I take the money, and another car pulls up. I greet them while I count change.)

    Me: “Good evening! Order when you are ready.”

    (I turn back to the window.)

    Me: “Here is your change, sir. Have a great night!”

    Customer: “Why are you talking to yourself? Are you slow or something? I don’t want your kind handling my money!”

    Me: “Uh… I was just greeting the customer who pulled up to the speaker.”

    (As we are talking, I am typing in the next customer’s order.)

    Customer: “I’m the only one here! What are you doing now? Hey! Answer me!”

    (I am now ignoring the guy yelling at me through the closed window.)

    Me: “Your total will be $[total] at your first window, ma’am. Please pull forward.”

    Customer: *banging on the window* “You can’t ignore me! I’m a paying customer! Open the window!”

    (I yell through the window.)

    Me: “Please pull forward, sir! You are blocking the next customer.”

    Customer: *suddenly very calm* “Okay, I’m sorry. But could I get another copy of my receipt? I dropped the one you gave me.”

    (I oblige and print him a new receipt. When I open the window he suddenly grabs my arm and tries to pull me out of the window. My screaming alerts my manager, who pulls me back inside, and locks the window shut while the customer speeds off with their food.)

    Manager: “What the h*** was all that about?! He nearly kidnapped you!”

    (I don’t work nights anymore…)

    Related:
    On The Need For Hazard Pay, Part 3
    On The Need For Hazard Pay, Part 2
    On The Need For Hazard Pay

    That Would Not Be A Happy Meal

    , | San Diego, CA, USA | Food & Drink, Rude & Risque, Top

    (Everyone in the kitchen wears headsets to hear the drive-thru. This is so we can make the order while the customer is ordering.)

    Me: “Hey, how are you today?”

    Customer: “Just a sec… s***!”

    Me: *deadpan* “I’m sorry, sir; we don’t serve that here.”

    (The entire kitchen erupts in laughter.)

    Customer: *also laughing* “If I wanted that, I’d go to [competitor]!”

    Some Customers Have Good Taste

    , | New York City, NY, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Top

    (I work at a fast food chain. I have just finished dealing with an absolutely horrendous customer, but I cannot take a break yet. My boss is sympathetic, but a little strict about breaks. I steel myself for the next customer.)

    Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”

    Customer: “One second, sorry.”

    (She is writing something on a slip of paper.)

    Customer: “Okay, thanks for waiting. Can I get some sweet tea? Also, that last guy was a jerk. Here!”

    (She hands me the piece of paper. It says: ‘notalwaysright.com’.)

    Customer: “If you need to feel better, then go here!”

    (Thank you so much, miss! I had never heard of this site before today, and I’m so glad you were kind to me!)

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