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    A Burger, A Side Of Obnoxiousness, Hold The Manners

    , | Germany | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Wild & Unruly

    (I am ordering inside at a fast food restaurant. There aren’t many people inside but several cars lined up outside at the drive in and most burgers are sold out.)

    Me: “I’ll have a [burger].”

    Cashier #1: “Alright, but I fear you’ll have to wait a bit. Those are out right now, and several other customers are waiting for one as well.”

    Me: “That’s not a problem; I’ll just wait here.”

    (I’ve waited for several minutes with my cashier constantly apologizing to me about it taking so long, when another customer stomps in and goes to the next register.)

    Cashier #2: “Welcome, sir, how can I help you?”

    Customer: “I’ll have a [same burger as me] and some fries.”

    Cashier #2: “Yes, sir, I apologize in advance, but the burgers are out at the moment and you’ll need to wait a bit.”

    Customer: “Hmph! You’d better hurry up. I’m paying good money for this.”

    (After about two minutes of waiting, the customer starts to curse at the cashiers about being idiots and not working at all. This goes on for several more minutes until the first burger is done and my cashier starts to pack it up for me.)

    Customer: “Oi, that’s my burger! Give it to me now!”

    Cashier #1: “I’m terribly sorry, sir, but this lady here came in first and therefore it’s hers.”

    Customer: “Stop talking nonsense! Give it to me!”

    Cashier #2: “No, sir, that’s not your burger. We will give it to her.”

    Customer: “I’ve been waiting for ages now. I demand you to give me my burger. NOW!”

    Cashier #1: “But sir it’s—”

    Me: “Ah, just give the burger to him. This poor bloke is probably starving since he lost all his manners already.”

    Cashier #1: “Are you sure about this?”

    Me: “Yep, absolutely. After waiting this long, a few more minutes won’t make it any worse.”

    (The cashier gives the burger to the customer, who immediately retorts…)

    Customer: “Why didn’t you give it to me faster, you idiots?!”

    (I’ve had enough of the customer’s sour attitude and speak up.)

    Me: “For one, because that actually was MY order and I was kind enough to have it. For another, in case you didn’t notice, there is a large line of cars outside waiting and the poor guy in the kitchen is all alone. So stop being an a** and go eat your food which you needed so desperately!”

    Customer: *storms out*

    Cashier #1: “I’m really sorry that you have wait even longer because of him now.”

    Me: “It’s alright. I don’t have anything to do anyway.”

    (After another two minutes, Cashiers #1 and #2 pack my order and add an extra burger.)

    Cashiers #1 & #2: “There you go. A little thank you from all of us!”

    Deference To The Difference

    , | Plano, TX, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I am working drive thru.)

    Customer: “I want orange chicken and fried rice.”

    Me: “Okay, no problem. Would you like that as a one side/one entree bowl, or as a one side/two entree plate with double orange chicken?”

    Customer: “What’s the difference?”

    Me: “The bowl is $6.05 and the plate is $7.13.”

    Customer: “No, not the price! What is the difference?”

    Me: “Well, one has a single side and a single entree and it comes in a bowl, and the other has a single side and two entrees and it comes on a plate.”

    Customer: “But, what’s the difference?”

    Two Wings Don’t Make Them Right

    , | Omaha, NE, USA | Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers, Theme Of The Month

    (I’m working at a restaurant that sells fried chicken. A customer approaches me after she has eaten her entire meal. The tray she’s carrying only has picked-clean chicken bones on it.)

    Me: “How can I help you?”

    Customer: “Yeah, I ordered the white meat chicken meal, but got dark meat pieces instead. You need to give me a new meal.”

    Me: “I’m sorry for the confusion, but the white meat chicken meal comes with a breast and wing, which is what you received.”

    Customer: “No, you gave me a leg and a thigh. I paid extra for the white meat meal and I demand that you give me a replacement!”

    Me: “Again, I’m sorry for the confusion, but as you can see by the chicken bones on your tray, this piece was a breast piece. See the rib bones here, and this piece was a wing.”

    Customer: “Get me your manager NOW!”

    (My manager has heard the interchange and cordially comes over.)

    Manager: “I’m terribly sorry for the mistake, ma’am; here’s a replacement meal for you.”

    (My manager hands her another white meat meal.)

    Customer: “It’s about time!”

    (After the customer leaves, having left the tray with the chicken bones on it, I turn to my manager.)

    Me: “Why did she get a free replacement meal when it’s obvious that she got and completely ate what she ordered?”

    Manager: *smiling sadly* “The customer always thinks they’re right, even when they’re wrong. And especially when all they want is to throw a fit for free food. I’ve learned it’s easier to just give them what they want than to try to convince them to be decent people.”

    Me: “The customer is always right?”

    Manager: “Even when they’re wrong!”

    Totally Trashed The Place

    , | Tallahassee, FL, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers, Theme Of The Month

    (I am busy cleaning the dining area. I have just removed a full trash bin from its holder, leaving the door to said holder wide open. This is to signal that there is no trash can there, so customers should try another one. As I start carrying the bin to the back, I hear the sound of a tray, disposable plates, and various sauces hitting the floor. I turn around to see a customer has tossed their trash into the empty space where the bin used to be, making a mess on the floor. The customer immediately looks at me like a kid that was caught stealing cookies.)

    Customer: “The nerve of some people, making such messes like this! Shame on whoever did this!”

    (The customer quickly leaves. Another customer who has seen the exchange starts laughing.)

    Other Customer: “Kinda makes you lose your faith in humanity, doesn’t it?”

    Me: *sighs* “Welcome to customer service, where everything is your fault and the reason doesn’t matter.”

    Take Note Of The Note

    , | NM, USA | At The Checkout, Liars & Scammers, Theme Of The Month

    (A customer comes into the restaurant and buys a juice for $1.60 with a $20 bill. I’m a bit suspicious of people who pay small totals with much larger bills, as I had just been scammed that weekend and had to pay $19 to the store.)

    Me: “Thank you, let me just get your change.”

    Customer: “Wait, wait! I just found the change in my purse. Here’s $1.60.”

    Me: “Okay, thank you. Here is your $20 back.”

    (I stare at the bill I hand back to her for a full second before actually giving it back to her. I have to be sure I hand her a $20 bill, as that’s how the scam works.)

    Customer: “Hey, you only gave me back a dollar.”

    (As if to prove this, the customer waives a dollar at me.)

    Me: “Ma’am, I am absolutely sure I gave you a $20 bill.”

    Customer: “No you didn’t; take this dollar and give me my $20.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I know I gave you a $20 bill. If you’d like I can pull this drawer right now and count it. If it’s over by $19, then it’s my mistake, but I am sure I gave you back your money.”

    Customer: “No, no, I’m very busy.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am; store policy is that I pull and count the drawer, so I’m going to go ahead and do that. It’ll take a few minutes if you want to take a seat.”

    Customer: “No! I’m very busy. I have to get to work. I can’t wait for you. Just give me my $20.”

    Me: “There are cameras watching this drawer. I cannot do that. I have to pull the drawer.”

    Customer: “Well, you do that! I’ll be back later!”

    (The customer ended up leaving the dollar she was waiving at me on the counter. My drawer was spot on plus the extra dollar she left. She tried to scam me and instead lost money! She never came back, of course.)

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