Featured Story:
  • Always Time For A Rhyme
    (2,164 thumbs up)
  • Customer Service Is Free, Manners Are Priceless

    , | Toronto, ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Awesome Workers, Food & Drink

    (I do coffee machine demos. I’m in sales, not service. I have just come from doing a 12-hour shift before Christmas in an electronics store, where customers were rude and unpleasant, never mind ungrateful for the free coffee. I decide to pick up a burger at a drive-thru on my way home.)

    Fast Food Worker: “Hi, welcome to [fast-food place]. Can I take your order?”

    Me: “Yes, please. May I have [order]? Thanks.”

    Fast Food Worker: “Sure. That’ll be [price].”

    Me: “Thank you very much.”

    (I pull up to the window, pay, and receive my order.)

    Me: “Thank you so much.”

    Fast Food Worker: “So, you do work in customer service?”

    Me: “Yeah, how can you tell?”

    Fast Food Worker: “Only someone dealing with rude people all day says please and thank you as much as you!”

    Math Skills Are In The Lower 25 Per Cent

    , | Seattle, WA, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Math & Science, Money, Top

    (While working at an ice cream store, there is a sale for buy one ice cream, get one for 25 cents. We are jam packed, and I am manning one of the registers.)

    Me: “Thank you for coming to [store], what can I get for you?”

    Customer: “I’d like five large ice creams, please.”

    Me: “Sounds great; your total comes to $14.”

    Customer: “I thought there was a sale for 25 cents?”

    Me: “Yes, it’s buy one, get one for 25 cents.”

    Customer: “So then why am I paying so much?”

    Me: “A regular large is $4.50, so three of those adds up to $13.50, plus two for 25 cents.”

    Customer: “The fifth one is supposed to be 25 cents.”

    Me: “You have to buy one first for it to be 25 cents. Would you like to buy one more blizzard?”

    Customer: “No, I don’t want six ice creams; the last one needs to be 25 cents!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I can’t give you the fifth one for 25 cents; you need to buy another ice cream first.”

    Customer: “GIVE ME THE ICE CREAM FOR 25 CENTS!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I can’t. Its buy one, get one for 25 cents.”

    Customer: “I refuse to speak with you; get me your manager now!”

    Me: “Ma’am, we’re very busy and—”

    Customer: “GET ME YOUR MANAGER!”

    Me: “Ma’am, please we are very busy—”

    Customer: “I refuse to speak with such an idiot.”

    Me: “Let me get her for you…”

    (I pull my manager away from making 15 ice creams. She is very much annoyed that I have to get her.)

    Manager: “What seems to be the problem?”

    Customer: “This imbecile of an employee will not give me my 25 cent ice cream.”

    (The manager looks at my screen, and sees five ice creams.)

    Manager: “You ordered five ice creams, correct?”

    Customer: “Yes, and I want my 25 cent ice cream!”

    Manager: “It’s a buy one, get one for 25 cents. You have five ice creams. Simple math tells us that the fifth is at regular price. So either pay for your f***** ice cream, or the get the h*** out of my store.”

    Customer: “Well EXCUSE ME! I’ll take my ice creams, but I’m never coming back!”

    Manager: “Good, you weren’t going to be allowed back anyway!”

    Totally Estúpido

    , | Barcelona, Spain | Language & Words, Theme Of The Month, Tourists/Travel

    (I am in a very popular burger chain restaurant in Barcelona. I have placed my order with the very helpful assistant, and am waiting for my food. The next two customers are large British men in their 50s. I am British, but speak reasonable Spanish.)

    Customer: *in a broad North Yorkshire accent* “I want a large burger, a large fries, and a large Diet Coke.”

    (The girl behind the counter, who doesn’t speak English, looks blank and then says in Spanish that she doesn’t understand.)

    Customer: *speaking loudly and enunciating each word slowly* “I want a LARGE BURGER, a LARGE FRIES and a LARGE DIET COKE!”

    (The server is now looking distressed and uncomfortable, so I take pity on her, and tell her what the customer has ordered in Spanish. She thanks me profusely and places the order. The first customer shakes his head in disgust and turns to me.)

    Customer: “Thanks, love. These f****** foreigners, eh? They don’t speak the language.”

    Me: “Wow.”

    Don’t Have Beef With Hinduism

    , | Kanpur, India | Food & Drink, Religion, Theme Of The Month, Top, Tourists/Travel

    (I’m on a trip to India, and decide to eat at a local McDonald’s. In front of me is a pair of American tourists.)

    Tourist #1: *in very bad Hindi* “Yes, I want a Big Mac.”

    Cashier: “Sir, I understand English, if you would be more comfortable. So you want a Chicken Maharaja Mac?”

    Tourist #2: “I thought you said you knew English? A Big Mac doesn’t have chicken, dumb-a**!”

    (Hoping to speed this along, I decide to get involved.)

    Me: “None of the McDonald’s in India offer beef. The local version of the Big Mac is made using grilled chicken patties instead. It’s actually pretty good.”

    Tourist #1: “Man, who the h*** doesn’t eat beef?”

    Me: “About one billion Hindus, most of them in India.”

    (They both quietly place their orders, all the time mumbling about ‘pandering to locals.’)

    Tivo Side Effects

    , , | UK | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Technology, Top

    Me: “Welcome to [restaurant]; can I take your order please?”

    (The customer asks for an item from the promotion that finished last week.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir; that promotion has finished.”

    Customer: “I want a [finished promotion item], like on the TV.”

    Me: “We do not have that item anymore I’m afraid.”

    (The customer once again demands the item, saying it slowly and separates the words like I don’t understand what he has asked for. Again, I tell him that the item is no longer on the menu, and he proceeds to ask me for it another three times.)

    Me: “Sir, the burger you’re requesting is no longer available. We now have [new promotional item] instead. Would you like one of those?”

    Customer: “No! Listen to me woman: I want a [ended promotion item]! If you can’t do your job, get someone who can on the line! Stupid f****** b****!”

    (My manager has walked in to see what the hold up is. He is also wearing a headset, and has heard everything. He waves his hand at me to turn my microphone off, and he takes over.)

    Manager: “Sir, the item you are requesting is no longer available; instead, we have [new promo item].”

    Customer: “Why is this so hard to f*****g understand!? I want a [ended promo item]! I want it as a large meal with a chocolate milkshake!”

    Manager: “That item is no longer available.”

    Customer: “Then why are you still f****** advertising it on the TV!?”

    Manager: “We’re not, sir.”

    (The customer huffs loudly after shouting several curse words at my manager, speeding past the drive thru window with his middle finger up. I’m shaking from stress, and on the verge of tears. I don’t deal with immense pressure very well, so my manager lets me go on a break. I return to the window after my break. After a few cars, the same customer from before drives up again. Reluctant to deal with him, I call over my manager, who takes the microphone.)

    Manager: “Welcome to [store name].”

    (The customer looks very shaken on the camera.)

    Customer: “Ey er… is that girl I was talking to still there?”

    Manager: “Yes she is here next to me; why do you ask?”

    Customer: “Can you put her on the microphone, please?”

    (My manager looks at me, and I nod a little, activating my microphone.)

    Me: “Yes, what would you like, sir?”

    Customer: “Listen, I’m so sorry about earlier. It turns out I was watching a pre-recorded TV show. Can I have [order], and add a large meal on top for yourself and your boss; I’ll pay for it!”

    Page 22/78First...2021222324...Last