No Eggo For The Vego

, | Australia | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I am serving on the registers over breakfast, when a female customer approaches.)

Customer: “I’m vego.”

Me: *realising she means she’s a vegetarian* “Umm… okay?”

Customer: “So I’ll have a bacon and egg muffin with no egg.”

Me: “A bacon and egg muffin without egg?”

Customer: “Yep, I’m vego.”

Me: “So you want the bacon on the muffin”?

Customer: “Yep, but no egg. I’m vego.”

Me: “…”

Buying A Drive At The Drive-Thru

, | Olathe, KS, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(It is my first night working the drive-thru by myself on the side we lovingly call ‘The Hole,’ due to how removed it is from the rest of the store, as well as the fact that it is freaking cold in winter.)

Me: *chipper* “Hello and welcome to [Restaurant]. How may I take your order?”

Customer: *rambles off order* “Oh, and, uh, could I get the green ’96 Plymouth Breeze?”

Me: *confused* “…I’m sorry, could you repeat that?”

Customer: *serious tone* “There’s a green ‘96 Plymouth Breeze out here and I was hoping I could pay for it here.”

Me: *still slightly confused* “I don’t know anything about that, sir. Can I still get you your food?”

Customer: *sighs* “Yeah, I guess.”

Allergic To Common Sense, Part 5

, | Peterborough, ON, Canada | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I’m working in the back making orders. One comes up on the screen for a burger, no tomato. The cashier gets my attention.)

Cashier: “[My Name], that ‘no tomato’ is an allergy.”

(I go through the normal process of swapping utensils, cleaning the work area and so forth. I start making the burger and pause halfway as a thought occurs.)

Me: “Hey, [Cashier], that tomato allergy? It’s no ketchup either, then?”

(The cashier asks.)

Cashier: “No, they said it’s fine. Actually they want extra.”

Related
Allergic To Common Sense, Part 4
Allergic To Common Sense, Part 3
Allergic To Common Sense, Part 2

Unfortunate Opening Words

, | Tempe, AZ, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Time

(I am prepping the store for open, and can see [Regular] standing right outside the front door, waiting for nearly 15 minutes.)

Me: *unlocking the door and exactly six am, our open time* “Good morning, [Regular]! I’ve got some coffee already brewed for you.”

Regular: “Boy, you guys sure wait until the laaaast minute to open those doors.”

Me: “Well, we open at six, which it just turned right now.”

Regular: “Yeah, I know. Still. You’ve been here a while already….”

Hotly Disputed

, | Tempe, AZ, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

Me: “Good morning, [Regular]. I was just about to make some fresh coffee, since this pot is almost 45 minutes old. Did you want some of this or would you like to wait for the fresh pot.”

Regular: “The fresh pot; I want the hot, fresh stuff.”

(I bring her a hot, fresh cup six minutes later, right after it finished brewing.)

Regular: “Can you get me some ice cubes for this? I don’t know why you guys have to brew it so hot. I practically gotta let it sit for half an hour before I can touch it…”

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