When I was a kid, my parents, aunt, and uncle sent my cousins, my brothers, and me to church youth group every week. One night, my parents were too busy to get us there, so my aunt offered to drive us along with her kids and even get us all some dinner beforehand. Since we were short on time, we went through the drive-thru of a nearby fast food restaurant so we could quickly eat at the church before youth group started.

Like most young kids anticipating fast food, my cousins and brothers were rowdy. With six or seven kids (including me) crammed into one vehicle, you can imagine the noise. My aunt had to repeat herself a few times at the speaker until I got fed up and turned around in the passenger seat.

Me: “SHUT UP OR YOU DON’T EAT!”

The car went quiet, my aunt finished placing the order, and everyone got their food. My aunt even thanked me once we got to the church!

Our fast food place has a charity box at the counter where customers can donate their loose change to a homeless charity. The customer I have just served donates some coins after ordering their food.

Customer Behind Them: “You shouldn’t do that, you know. Most homeless people can afford homes; they’re just scam artists.”

Customer: “Well… I trust the charity to do something better with my penny than I would all the same.”

I try to salvage the situation.

Me: “The charity runs shelters and provides food banks to families in poverty, too, so it’s not just—”

Customer Behind Them: “You’re stupid if you think that. The homeless guy outside has a cell phone!” 

Customer: “Ah, yes, because a cell phone costs as much as a house.”

Customer Behind Them: “No, that’s not what I meant!” 

Customer: “I had avocado toast yesterday. I might have to remortgage my house.”

Customer Behind Them: “Now you’re just being an a**!” 

Customer: “You don’t think homeless people deserve to have any possessions, but sure, I’m the a**.” 

The rude customer just stormed off, thankfully!

I work in a small-town fish-and-chip shop, one of two in the town. We are a tourist town, and one of the main attractions is the award-winning fish and chips!

Because of this publicity, customers in the town believe that we are in massive competition with the other shop. But it’s not even a competition; we have over twenty-five staff while they have five. We serve thousands more customers than them per week in the summer. 

So, on the rare occasion that a customer gets angry and doesn’t get their way (in this case, demanding a large portion of chips for the price of a small): 

Customer: “I’M GOING TO [OTHER SHOP] INSTEAD, AND I WON’T BE BACK!”

Manager: *Sarcastic* “Oh, no, that really hurts our feelings.”

Customer: “I’m going to tell [Other Shop] how appalling the service is over here! I’m never coming back!”

Manager: “We don’t want you back. Please do enjoy the food from the other shop, though!”

We owned both shops.

The fast-food place I work at has an intercom at the drive-thru but the manager likes for us to take orders face-to-face. I have an angry customer pull up.

Customer: “I can’t f****** read the f****** menu!”

He keeps on swearing. I don’t know how to handle things like that back at this time, so I just keep my head down. I finally have had enough and say:

Me: “Sir, would you please not talk like that?”

How does he respond? He spits on my face.

HE SPAT ON ME AND DROVE OFF.

And the worst part is my manager thought it was funny.

Customer: “Can I get the cheeseburger without the cheese?”

Me: “Seriously? Is this a prank?”

Customer: “What? No… Why would you ask that?”

Me: “Sir, asking for a cheeseburger without cheese is classic food service trolling. It’s like going to Subway and asking how long the footlong is.”

Customer: “But I just want the cheeseburger without the cheese. I don’t understand how…”

The customer trails off… the penny drops. 

Customer: “Onions! I want the cheeseburger without the onions.”

Me: “That makes more sense!”

Customer: “I love cheese! I think I just had cheese on my mind when I ordered it! Sorry about that!”

Me: *Laughing* “That’s totally fine, sir. So… a cheeseburger, no onions, right?” 

Customer: “Yes, please! Oh, and a Coke.”

Me: “Coke, no cheese, got it.”

He left happy!