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  • November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

    Gonna Party Like Its 1595

    | Australia | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Bizarre

    Me: “Okay, that’s $15.95.”

    Customer: “I remember 1595. ‘Twas a good year; Hastings was a changed place, that’s for sure.”

    Me: “And the maidens were young and fair?”

    Customer: “Yep. The biggest news story was these two young people who got married but succumbed to a tragic murder-suicide. And some young ‘un going by the name Shakespeare was top of the charts. Yep, an interesting year for sure!” *wanders off with his purchase*

    She Really Needed That Coffee

    | ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior

    (As I’m working the till, an old man walks up to me. It takes a few minutes to fill out his order, because he can barely speak, and his finger shakes when he tries to tell me what he wants. He is extremely polite, and orders two coffees. After he leaves to get coffee stirrers, a young woman comes to my till.)

    Customer: “Oh, my God, what a drag, huh? That guy was such a dumba**. He should just die and move over for the best generation. Am I right?”

    Me: “…Why don’t I just take your order.”

    (As she ordered, the old man, who heard what she said, walked up behind her quietly, popped the lid off of one of his coffees, and poured it all over the woman. She screamed, and ran away yelling about her clothes, while the old man ordered another coffee.)

    Knows How To Press The Good Buttons

    | NY, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre

    (I’m working as a cashier at a popular fast food restaurant and have had a pretty rough night so far. I’m just finishing up an order on a young lady when I notice a button from a TV show I like on her purse.)

    Me: “Oh, you like [TV Show]?”

    Customer: *gives me a deer in the headlights look* “…The TV show?”

    Me: “Yup.”

    Customer: *a freaked out look starts to form*

    Me: *points to the button on her purse after seeing the freaked out look* “You have a button with the main character’s face on it.”

    Customer: *looks at her purse and calms down* “Oh! For a second I thought you could read my mind.”

    Me: *laughs* “Oh, if I could read minds I would not be here. I would go play poker and win all the money!”

    (The customer laughed too and we talked briefly about the show before she went to wait for her food. I continued to go on with my shift in much higher spirits. It’s rare, but getting customers that are able to cheer me up, is a blessing on bad shifts.)

    Not A Morning Person Every Five Minutes

    | MI, USA | Bad Behavior, Time

    (We get a line of about ten cars at once in the drive-thru. Two cars in, I hear a car at the end of the line laying on their horn.)

    Me: *over headset* “Is that one of our customers honking?”

    Coworker: *over headset* “Yes, and she’s yelling about something, too.”

    (Less than four minutes later, the angry customer is at my window. I have her food ready.)

    Me: “Here you go. Sorry about the—”

    Customer: “I want to know why the hell it TOOK SO LONG TO GET THAT LINE GONE.” *she yanks the bag so forcefully out of my hand that the bag rips* “NOW YOU’VE MADE ME LATE FOR WORK, YOU F****** IDIOT. WHAT TOOK SO F****** LONG?!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, we just got busy. I do apologize for your wait—”

    Customer: “GIVE ME MY F****** [SODA]!”

    Me: “Here’s your [Soda]. Again, I’m sorry about your wait.”

    Customer: “F*** YOU ALL!” *speeds away*

    Manager: *over headset* “If a five minute wait made her late for work, she obviously didn’t have enough time to go anywhere before her shift. Clearly, somebody peed in her Cheerios this morning.”

    Me: *over headset* “I hate people.”

    Smiles Can Go Miles

    , | DE, USA | Awesome Customers

    (I work mostly morning shifts at a mall food court. I love it, because it’s slow and I can people watch, and most of the time when I do get customers, they’re either senior citizens, mall employees, or moms with babies, and they’re all wonderful. I’ve been working there for a couple of weeks when an old man walks up to me.)

    Me: “Hi, how are you?”

    Customer: “You know, I’m in here pretty much every day, and I see you watching people and smiling and laughing, and it always makes me happy. I just wanted to make sure you know that there’s a lot of bad stuff going on in this world, but if you keep smiling, things will start to get better.”

    Me: *beaming* “Thank you.”

    (He nods at me and walks away. My manager walks up from the back and grins at me.)

    Manager: “Keep smiling, my friend.”

    (I’ve been working there for four months now and that’s still the best thing that’s happened to me on the job.)