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    Accentuating The Problem

    , | Paris, France | Food & Drink, Language & Words, Tourists/Travel

    (My family is on vacation in Europe with a large tour group, consisting of about 40 people from Canada and the US. My sister and I are trying to order at a Parisian McDonald’s, while a middle-aged Texan woman from the same tour is waiting in the next queue over.)

    Me: *in bad French* “Uh, could I have a… McChicken?”

    Employee: *in French* “Sorry, what did you want?”

    Me: *in French, more clearly* “Um, McChicken.”

    Employee: *in French* “Ah! Of course. That’ll be [amount].”

    Sister: *to me* “I think you were trying too hard to get the accent right. You sounded ridiculous.”

    Me: “I didn’t think it sounded that bad… At least I tried.”

    (While waiting for our food, we can’t help but overhear what’s going on in the next queue…)

    Texan Customer: “Yeah, I’d like a combo number four–”

    Employee: *in French* “Sorry, what?”

    (The woman gives the flustered employee a death stare, then speaks loudly and slowly.)

    Texan Customer: “COMBO. COOOOOMBO.”

    (We left then, so I don’t know if the customer ever got her food. To this day, no one in my family ever says the word ‘combo’ without putting on an exaggerated drawl!)

    Signed His Own Fate

    , | USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Money

    (We had a bad storm the night before that disconnected our store’s internet which is used for the credit cards. We have signs posted on the doors and on the registers that we cannot accept credit or debit cards. We can accept only cash or checks.)

    Me: “Hello. Is this for here or to go?”

    Customer: “For here. I’d like to use these coupons.”

    Me: “Okay.”

    (I ring up his order which comes to around $35 even with the coupons. He hands me a debit card.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. We cannot accept cards at the moment.”

    Customer: “Well. I guess I’ll have to go elsewhere.”

    Me: “Okay, sir. Sorry for the inconvenience.”

    Customer: “Y’all need to have signs up for that.”

    Me: “You walked past two when you walked in, sir, and there’s one right there in your face.”

    Customer: *shamefully walks out*

    Party Crashed And Burned

    , | Fairborn, OH, USA | Food & Drink, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

    (For the past couple of days we’ve had signs on our doors indicating the dining room would be closed for a Christmas party. The night of the party, I come up to the door carrying a dish in a stone pan. The manager opens the door to let me in when a customer runs past me, inside the dining room.)

    Me: “What was—”

    Manager: “Hold on.” *closes the door behind me* “Now we shouldn’t have customers trying to come in.”

    (I set the dish down and go to get my second load from my car. When I get back, a family of customers is seated in a booth next to the food my coworkers and I have brought in.)

    Customer: “Hey, you! What is with that food?”

    Me: “We’re having a Christmas party.”

    Customer: “You are?”

    (I look at my coworkers, and then at the decorations and the games we have set up.)

    Coworker: “Yes! We closed at nine.”

    Customer: “You did?”

    Manager: “We have signs up saying that we did.”

    Customer: “Well, I didn’t see those.”

    Manager: “Because you ran past my employee, who was carrying stuff in for it.”

    (The customer blushes and helps his family pack up to leave.)

    Makes You Either Laugh Or Cry, I’m Telling You Why

    , | UK | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

    (I am working on a till in the run-up to Christmas. I’m 20, but I look a bit younger. A customer and I have been chatting about her plans for the day ahead.)

    Customer: “Do you work here full-time?”

    Me: “No. I’m actually only on contract for eight hours per week, but I’m doing about thirty at the moment, with Christmas coming up.”

    Customer: “Oh. I don’t know about all that. I say to my children, they’re about your age, I think you’re old enough to know by now—” *drops into a stage whisper* “—there’s no Father Christmas. Thank you. Have a nice day!”

    (When the customer is gone, my supervisor comes over.)

    Supervisor: “You look like you’re in shock. What happened?”

    Me: “She told me Santa’s not real…”

    Some Customers Are Just Worth Recording

    , | Cupertino, CA, USA | Awesome Customers, Bizarre, Food & Drink, Technology

    (I’m working in the drive-thru.)

    Me: “Hi. Welcome to [restaurant]; what can I get for you today?”

    Customer: “Are… are you a recording?”

    Me: “Yup. I’m absolutely a prerecorded message to take your order and make your day just a little brighter!”

    Customer: “Oh. Well… I’ll have [order].”

    (The customers drive up to the window to pay. I look at them amusingly.)

    Me: “Am I a recording?”

    Customer: *laughs* “Sorry. You were just so chipper that we thought you were a recording!”

    Me: *chuckles* “It’s no problem. I’ve been up for three hours already and I’m loaded up on caffeine! Anyway, your order comes out to [total].”

    Customer: “Okay. So, if I drive off right now, do you get to keep the change?”

    Me: “Umm… That hasn’t happened before, so… maybe?”

    Customer: “Okay. Well, have a great day, then!”

    (The customers drive up to the next window to pick up their food. They very kindly leave me with a $15 tip!)


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