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    It’ll Be With You In Two Shakes

    , | Baton Rouge, LA, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink

    (Note that our milkshakes come in small and large, which are served in the small and medium soft drink cups. Our large soft drink cups have a different shape, so they can’t fit under the milkshake spinner. A customer approaches my register to order.)

    Customer: “I just love your peach milkshakes! The large just isn’t big enough though. Why don’t you have them the same sizes as your drinks?”

    (I explain about the machine.)

    Customer: “Oh. So I can’t get an extra large milkshake?”

    Me: “Well, we don’t sell that size. I’m sorry.”

    Customer: “Can’t you figure out how to ring one up? I just love them so much and the large is never enough!”

    (I have an idea and turn to ask my manager, who is over by the drive through. She agrees, so I come back to the customer.)

    Me: “Well, if you want to buy a small and a large shake, I can then combine them into the big cup. It’s the same size ounce-wise.”

    Customer: “Yes! Oh, yes, I would love that. Your milkshakes are just so good!”

    Me: “Okay, that will be [price].”

    (He pays and I go make the milkshakes. While I am, I can hear him telling other customers how awesome our shakes are and how excited he is. My coworkers are amused at me making two shakes and then dumping them into a huge cup. When it’s done, I turn back to the customer.)

    Me: “Do you want whipped cream? I’m afraid the milkshake lid won’t fit since it’s not made for the bigger cup.”

    Customer: “Yes! And that’s okay; I’ll drink it really fast.”

    (I finish off his monster milkshake and hand it to him. He looks like a little kid who’s just met Santa.)

    Customer: “Thanks so much!”

    (He literally skipped out of the restaurant, drinking his shake.)

    A Chain Reaction

    , | TX, USA | Food & Drink, Funny Names, Language & Words

    (I stop at a regional fast food chain restaurant for dinner. As I pay, I accidentally pull out a credit card for a big box chain, but realize my mistake and switch cards before swiping. The cashier talks to someone in the drive-through…)

    Cashier: “Welcome to [Big Box Chain]. I’ll be with you in a minute.”

    (I’m not sure I heard that right, but then…)

    Kitchen Worker: “Uh, [Cashier], you realize this is [Fast Food Chain] and not [Big Box Chain].”

    Me: *loud enough they can hear me in the kitchen* “It’s my fault; I took out my [Fast Food Chain] card and he…” *trail off as I realize* “…now I’m doing it.”

    A New Form Of Pest Control

    , | UT, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (I am working at a popular fast food restaurant on a weekday. We are not extremely busy, but did have a fairly large drive-thru line. A man comes into the dining room and places his order wearing his work uniform. He is the only person in the dining room but he only waits about three minutes before coming to the counter to complain.)

    Customer: “I have been waiting for my order for f***** ever, and want to speak with your manager, and I want my meal for free.”

    (The manager comes over after hearing the customer.)

    Manager: “How can I help you, sir?”

    Customer: “I’ve been waiting here for f****** ever, and I expect my food now, and I expect it for free.”

    Manager: “I’m sorry but we serve on a ‘first-come, first-serve basis’ and have a long line in the drive-thru. I can give you a discount on your order, but we can’t give it to you for free.”

    Customer: “Your corporate offices are going to hear about your s**** service and you’ll be fired.”

    (The customer storms out and I ask my manager what happened. He said this customer comes in about once a month to do this, but never wore a uniform before. It turns out the customer worked for a pest control company which our restaurant uses for routine sprays around the building. My manager calls the number on the customer’s uniform and tells them what has happened and that we’ll be using a different service from now on. A couple of days later the customer comes in again.)

    Me: “Hello, sir. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “I’m very sorry for how I acted the other day. Will you call my boss and ask them if I can have my job back?”

    Promo Is Too Slow-Mo

    , | Port St Lucie, FL, USA | Money, Technology, Theme Of The Month

    (I work for a very large, well know fast food company. I am a manager, and coupons can only be taken off by a manager. Every single time there is a coupon I have to put in a code. Every. Single. Time.)

    Me: *in the front of the store filling orders*

    Crew Member #1: “PROMO!”

    Me: *runs to opposite end of the store to take it off*

    Me: *goes back up front to correct a customer complaint*

    Crew Member #1: “PROMO!”

    Me: *knows line can’t move until I take it off, but I can’t leave the customer*

    Me: *finally takes off the coupon in drive-thru*

    Crew Member #2: “I need a promo!”

    Me: *runs back to the front of the store*

    (The phone rings. It’s a customer inquiry.)

    Crew Member #1: “PROMO, PLEASE! AND I NEED A DISCOUNT!”

    Crew Member #2: “Can I get a promo?”

    (I talked on the phone while bagging orders while promo-ing off the front order, then ran to the back, still picking up the food items I needed on the way, promo-ing that off while still answering a customer’s question while having the headset on to make sure my drive-thru people are taking the correct orders. Needless to say, I left the coupon button on automatic for the rest of the day. Coupons are a lot more work than you think. F*** that s***!)

    Donating On Biblical Proportions

    , | USA | Bizarre, Religion

    (A customer comes in on a Sunday afternoon. He orders a coffee but doesn’t leave after he gets it.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, was there anything else I could help you with?”

    Customer: “Oh, no, not at the moment, dear. I just wanted to give you this. You’re new here and I like to make sure all the new people are taken care of.”

    (As he is speaking he pulls a miniature bible out of his pocket and slides it across the counter to me. I’m almost too startled to speak.)

    Me: “…um, thank you?”

    (I wait until he leaves and approach my manager.)

    Me: “So, some guy just gave me a bible, but I don’t know what to do with it.”

    Manager: “Yeah, he does that. We’ve asked him to stop but he won’t. If you don’t want to keep it there’s a box of them under the desk in the office. Just throw it there.”

    Me: “There’s a whole box of these things?!”

    Manager: “Yeah, we drop them off at the Goodwill center when it gets full.”

    (Apparently this was just a normal thing that happened because when I moved to another restaurant down the road they also had a box of mini bibles that customers had given to employees.)

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