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  • The Offer Is Sub-Standard
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  • August Theme Of The Month: We Are Closed!
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    Food To Go Is Going Nowhere

    , | Charlottesville, VA, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month

    (The store closes at 10:30 pm. A customer comes in at 10:26 pm and takes 10 minutes to decide what they want, even though we only serve chicken tenders which take seven minutes to cook.)

    Me: “All right, your box combo will be up in about eight minutes.”

    Customer: “That’s fine.”

    Me: *brings out food in a to-go box*

    Customer: “Thank you so much!” *begins to open container*

    Me: “Sir, we closed at 10:30.”

    Customer: *looks at watch* “I still have time.” *continues eating*

    (Because there’s a customer in the store, we can’t clean or lock the door. Just as the customer is finishing, eight more people show up.)

    Customer: “My friends are here. Let them in and give them food to go.”

    Me: “Sir, we’re closed.”

    Customer: “The doors are open. Look here they come.”

    Me: “Sir, the doors are open because we can’t lock you in.”

    Manager: “Just take the orders, but make them to go.”

    (I took the orders. The people proceeded to sit down with their to-go boxes and eat and talk for the next 30 minutes. My manager got so mad that we cleaned up around them. To this day the restaurant closes at 10:23 pm just to be safe.)

    The Offer Is Sub-Standard

    , | BC, Canada | Food & Drink, Rude & Risque, Theme Of The Month

    (The sandwich shop I work in is only a block down the main street from a fairly rowdy nightclub. To alleviate problems we close two hours before the club does but we are often there long past closing to finish the cleanup. It is quite common for drunk people to bang on the door when it is well past closing and try to convince us to make them something. This particular night a group of four young men stumble past and one starts hollering through the locked glass door.)

    Drunk Guy: “Hey, can you make me a sub?”

    Me: “Sorry, we’re closed.”

    Drunk Guy: “C’mon! It’ll just take a sec. Hey, you can just pocket the money and no one will ever know!”

    Me: “Yeah, I don’t think so. Even if I wasn’t honest, we have security cameras.”

    Drunk Guy: “Oh, c’mon. It’s just a sub. Please?”

    Me: “Sorry, we’re closed and all the food is put away.”

    (By this point his friends are trying to drag him along but I can see that it’s become a rather inebriated point of pride for him to convince me.)

    Drunk Guy: “Hey, I know. Tell ya what. I’ll sleep with you if you make me a sub!”

    (I make a really obvious show of looking him up and down.)

    Me: “And what’s in it for me?”

    (He just stood there looking dumbfounded as his friends all cracked up laughing, one of them actually falling over because he was laughing so hard. Shortly thereafter they dragged him off, still in shock.)

    Board-ering On Insane

    , | WY, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I work at a Mexican fast food restaurant and some of our tacos come with a cardboard sleeve to help keep the ingredients from spilling. A customer orders one to try. A few moments later I see my register worker staring in amazement into the lobby. It turns out the customer is taking bites out of his taco AND the cardboard instead of removing it. We watch as he eats the whole sleeve with his taco. A few moments later…)

    Customer: “I just wanted to say I loved my burrito but the taco seemed dry.”

    Me: *trying to keep a professional face* “I’m sorry about that, sir. Let me make it up to you by making you another for free.”

    (My coworkers and I made another taco and made sure no sleeve was on it. He smiled and sat down and ate the taco. We’re still not sure he realized what he did.)

    Snickering At The Service

    , | Sylva, NC, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (I work at a sandwich shop during my first few years of college. One day during a slow period my two coworkers see this lady come inside on the security cameras. My coworkers immediately say ‘not it!’ so I go up to take care of this woman’s order. The lady is already irritated and being short with me, over something like she’s late or she’s had a bad day. The order is going along fine until we get to the part where she tells me what veggies she wants.)

    Customer: “And now I want the snicker cheese.”

    Me: *confused* “The what?”

    Customer: “The snicker cheese.”

    Me: *still confused* “…like the candy bar?”

    Customer: “Yes, the cheese that tastes like the Snicker’s candy bar.”

    (It turns out she wants the parmesan oregano. I can tell you from experience parmesan oregano tastes nothing like a Snicker’s candy bar. After finishing the woman’s order, I go back and my coworkers ask me what was up with her. I tell them what she said and they both just kind of give me this weird look.)

    Me: “You don’t believe me, do you?”

    Coworker: “No, I believe you. Something that stupid can’t be made up.”

    Closing Time Crime

    , | WA, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers, Theme Of The Month

    (I work at a fast food restaurant that closes at 9:30 pm. A customer comes in just before then, as I am helping close up for the day.)

    Customer: “Hi. I ordered an eight-piece fried chicken during my lunch break, and got baked instead.”

    Me: “All right, sir. I’m terribly sorry. Do you want a refund or a correct order?”

    Customer: “I’d like what I ordered, please. The eight-piece fried chicken meal.”

    Me: “Sure, sir. We’re about to close, so at this point at night, we aren’t making the fried chicken anymore.”

    Customer: “What? But you’re a fried chicken place!”

    Me: “Yes, we are, but we’re also closing for the night.”

    Customer: “Okay, so, can I get an order that’s the same amount of money?”

    Me: “No problem. I just need the receipt and I can get you that, sir.”

    Customer: “The receipt? Oh, I think I threw that away.”

    (I look at him apologetically. I cannot correct an order or give a refund without the receipt.)

    Me: “What? Sir, I cannot give you your meal without the receipt.”

    Customer: “What? It’s just a piece of paper, I had the wrong order earlier and now I want what I paid for!”

    Me: “Sir, we fill out hundreds of orders around lunch time and I would not be able to find your order among them.”

    Customer: “I WANT MY FRIED CHICKEN!”

    Me: “Sir, please lower your voice. We don’t have the fried chicken, and without your receipt I can’t give you a refund.”

    Customer: “[Other Fast Food Chain] doesn’t need receipts to give me my food!”

    Me: “Sir, I am fairly sure they do. Look, it’s closing time but I can try to look through our computer system to find your order.”

    (He suddenly backs down a bit, from menacing to nervous.)

    Customer: “No, no, that’s okay. I’ll just go get dinner somewhere else.”

    (He leaves quickly. My manager walks over to see what it was about, and after I tell him, he shakes his head.)

    Manager: “I’m willing to bet there was no receipt, and he was just after a free meal!”

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