Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • His Attitude Speaks Volumes
    (1,918 thumbs up)
  • August Theme Of The Month: We Are Closed!
    Submit your story today!

    Girls In Love Will Always Be A Mystery

    , | Toronto, ON, Canada | Books & Reading, School

    (I am at a school fund raising fair. At one table they are selling books and they have a category of ‘mystery books’ where the books are wrapped so you can’t see what you were getting until after you had paid your dollar. I am standing beside the table when I hear a voice:)

    Customer: “Oh, jeeze!”

    (Looking over, I saw a teenage boy holding a mystery book that he had just bought and opened. The title of the book was ‘Girls in Love.’)

    Screaming For Ice Cream For Other Reasons

    | TX, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Spouses & Partners, Top

    (It is Dickens Faire this weekend, so we have a constant line for ice cream for a good 6 hours straight on Saturday. By Sunday, we only have 4 flavors left; the unavailable ones are covered with lids. A middle-aged couple comes in and looks at the ice cream.

    Me: “Hi! The only ice cream we have left are the open ones.”

    Husband: “Oh, okay. So just the ones that aren’t covered?”

    Me: “Yes, sir. We had a huge rush of people yesterday and sold out of all but those 4 flavors.”

    Husband: “Hmmm… I’d like Buttered Pecan on a cone, please.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. We don’t have any left. We only have the ones that don’t have the lids on them.”

    Husband: “Oh… well, how about Coffee?”

    Me: “Sorry, sir. We sold out of coffee as well. The only four flavors we have left are Strawberry, Caramel, Strawberry Cheesecake, and Vanilla.”

    Husband: “Hmmm… well, I’ll take Mint Chocolate Chip then. In a cone.”

    Me: “We don’t have any of that left.”

    Husband: “Well what do you have left then?!”

    Wife: “She’s told you at least three times already. Only the ones that you can actually see the ice cream in are the ones they have.”

    Husband: “But I wanted Buttered Pecan.”

    Wife: “Well, too bad. Pick something else!” *to me* “I’ll have the Strawberry Cheesecake in a cup please dear.”

    Husband: “I want… Cookies and Cream in a cone.”

    Wife: “That’s it. No ice cream for you!”

    Rock Band Makes Real Musicians Fret

    | Puyallup, WA, USA | Family & Kids, Musical Mayhem

    (I’m working a game booth at a fair. The prize for the day is electric guitars, sans cables and amp.)

    Young Boy: *comes up to the booth and looks at the prizes* “So, what are these for?”

    Me: “What?”

    Young Boy: “The guitars. Are they for a game or something?”

    Me: “Oh! No, they’re just regular guitars.”

    Young Boy: “Oh…” *walks away*

    Your Bigotry Is Kilting Me

    | Portland, OR, USA | Bigotry, Top

    (I’m working at the entrance of a local heritage fair when a white pickup truck pulls up. The driver, a large middle-aged man, gets out and stomps towards my desk.)

    Customer: *slams his hands on the table* “What the f*** do you Mexicans think you’re doing?”

    Me: *confused* “Sir, we—”

    Customer: “Look, I don’t want you d*** w******* here in the first place. I want you all back over the border where you belong!”

    Me: “Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to leave. You’re being very offensive, and this is—”

    Customer: “But if you’re going to come to my godd*** country, you’re going to act like real Americans and not fly those f***ing Mexican flags and speak that s***-eating language, and you aren’t gonna celebrate being a bunch of f***ing foreigners!”

    Me: “Security to entrance!”

    Customer: *jumps back into his car and starts driving off* “Go back to Mexico!”

    (The racist driver never returned. The heritage event in question, by the way, was the Scottish Highland Games.)

    A Wolf In Sweets Clothing

    , | Washington, USA |

    (I am working at a caramel apple stand at the local fair. A young girl approaches with her male friend.)

    Me: “Hi, what can I get you?”

    Customer #1: “Can I get a Coke?”

    Customer #2: “Oh, no, come on! We agreed to be healthy.”

    Customer #1: “It’s just a Coke.”

    Customer #2: “Get a water.”

    Customer #1: “I know, but I want the Coke.”

    Customer #2: “You’ll regret it later. You know you will.”

    Customer #1: “Fine. I’ll take a water, please.”

    Customer #2: “See? So much healthier! And think of the calories you’re cutting!”

    Customer #1: “Yeah, you’re right.”

    Me: “Just the water then?”

    Customer #2: “No, can we get two M&M caramel apples?”