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    This Customer Is Alright

    | Lexington, KY, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Bad Behavior

    (Note: I am the shift supervisor. We’re very busy, and I’m on my way to help a customer find something when one of my coworkers stops me.)

    Coworker: “[My name], how long can we hold things for customers?”

    Me: “We can probably hold that until the end of the day tomorrow.”

    Customer #1: “I need you to hold this until Monday.” (Note: it’s currently Friday.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I can’t do that. Store policy is that we can only hold things until the end of business on the same day, so I’m already bending the rules by holding it for an extra day.”

    Customer #1: “But I need you to hold it until Monday! You’re having a big sale starting Monday, and I want this at the sale price!”

    Me: “Again, I’m very sorry, ma’am, but I simply can’t hold it that long.”

    Customer #1: “That’s terrible! You should hold it for me!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, I really can’t. Excuse me, please; I need to go help this woman who has been patiently waiting for me.” *to Customer #2* “What can I help you with?”

    (As Customer #2 and I start walking away, she speaks to me.)

    Customer #2: “Man, what a b**** that woman was!”

    Me: *stifling a laugh* “I would never say that.”

    Customer #2: “Well, I’m another customer, so I can say it!”

    Blind To Reason, Part 3

    | Ballwin, MO, USA |

    Me: “Thank you for calling [store]. May I help you?”

    Caller: *frustrated* “My husband has been in your store for over an hour and no one is helping him! I sent him in to match a red and white fabric!”

    Me: “Okay, can you give me his description? I’ll send someone out to look for him.”

    (The caller gives me her husband’s description, and another employee tries to find him. Five minutes later, the woman calls back.)

    Caller: *angrily* “Hi, I’m the one whose husband isn’t getting any help at your store. He’s trying to match a red and white fabric for me.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, I sent someone out to look. Do you know where he is in the store? That would help us locate him.”

    Caller: “He says he’s by the red fabric. By the way, he’s color blind.”

    Related:
    Blind To Reason, Part 2
    Blind To Reason

    Label Whores

    , | Winchester, VA, USA |

    Customer: “I saw in your flier that y’all sell Swarovski crystal beads. ¬†Where would I find those?”

    Me: “In the beading aisle, ma’am. It’s the third up from the back, and the beads should be at the end nearest the wall.”

    Customer: “I already looked there! There aren’t any!”

    Me: ¬†”Oh, here they are, right here.”

    Customer: “Wait… are you sure?¬†Those don’t say Swarovski on them.”

    Me: “Yes ma’am, they do, right here.”

    Customer: “Show me the ones that say Swarovski on them!”

    Me: “These ones right here, ma’am.”

    Customer: ¬†”No, no, no! The ones that SAY ‘Swarovski’ ON THEM!¬†Not on the cardboard!”

    Me: Wait… you want them to say Swarovski on the bead itself?”

    Customer: “Yes, of course!”

    Me: “Ma’am, these beads are tiny. There wouldn’t be room to write ‘Swarovski’ on them even if they wanted to or could. ”

    Customer: “Well, then why bother?”

    Childhood Dream, Meet Retail Nightmare

    , | Los Angeles, CA |

    (We often get fashion design students in our store to get samples of fabric for school projects.)

    Student: “Can I get some swatches? I go to the *** fashion school and need them for a class project.”

    Me: “No problem. That’s the school I went to.”

    Student: “Oh, cool! What do you do now?”

    Me: “… I work here.”

    Student: *their dreams crush before my eyes*

    Taking The Young At Heart Thing Too Far

    | New York, NY, USA |

    (An 80 year old woman and her husband come up to the cutting counter with a bolt of sparkly, orange, see-through fabric.)

    80 year-old woman: “Three yards please.”

    Me, as I am measuring: “What are you using this for?”

    80 year-old woman: “I am taking a belly dancing class, and I am going to make my own outfit.”

    (I stare, and the man looks everywhere but his wife.)

    Also seen on: Not Always Romantic.

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