November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Multitasking Is Tasking You

| Evansville, IN, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

(A customer has called in to order; I am just finishing up the details of her purchase.)

Me: “All right, ma’am, that’s [list of her items], and the total comes to [price]. Is there anything else I can help you with?”

Customer: “Well.. could you hang on a minute? I’m ordering lunch.”

Me: “…What?”

Customer: “I’m in the drive through at [Restaurant]! Just wait a minute.”

(She proceeds to order enough food for at least six people, and I can overhear other people in the car with her. This takes several minutes.)

Customer: “I’m ready to check out now. Thanks for waiting!”

Me: “Yeah, no problem…”

Fabricated Prices

| KY, USA | Home Improvement, Money

(I get the following phone call:)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]. This is [My Name]. How can I help you today?”

Caller: *long pause* “Uh, do you sell fabric?”

Me: *wondering to myself what caller thought the fabric in the store’s name meant* “We certainly do.”

Caller: “Well, how much is it?”

Me: “It depends on the fabric. We have some as low as $1 a yard all the way up to $45-$50 a yard.”

Caller: “Oh, I can’t afford that much.” *click*

(Wish I could tell you that was an unusual call, but I get it several times a month. Maybe we are supposed to just give away the fabric from the fabric store that doesn’t stock fabric.)

Double The Trouble

| TN, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid

(As the store is quite busy on a Saturday night and there is only one cashier scheduled, I’ve taken over the customer service desk which has two registers. I am calling customers to both sides so I can help two people at once. I’ve just called the next two customers down, two of whom I have to ask to take a longer route to the secondary register on my right.)

Customer #1: *at the left side of the desk* “Why are you letting people check out over there? Won’t everyone skip the line and go to the other side for a shorter line?”

Me: “Ma’am, I called them from the long line. That’s the only line I’m calling from. They were kind enough to go around to the other side of the desk so I can help both of you at once. Since there’s such a long line tonight I’m doing what I can to keep the line moving.”

Customer #1: “That doesn’t seem right.”

Me: “I’m sorry about the inconvenience, but thank you for hanging in there with me while I try to get everyone taken care of. Your total is [total]. If you’ll please swipe your card at the pin-pad I’ll get these people started on the other register.”

Customer #2: *on the right side of the desk* “Since you’re doing the work of two people do you get paid twice as much?”

Not Cut Out To Be Good Customers

| Shreveport, LA, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Workers, Top

(It’s noon and there’s a huge sale on so naturally the store has quite a few customers.)

Employee: *as she dashes from the cutting table to the register* “I’ll be right back, sweetie! Let me just check out those two ladies, okay?”

(I nod and patiently wait the few minutes it takes for her to cash out the other customers.)

Employee: *slightly breathless as she returns* “Whoo! I’m getting my exercise today!” *smiles brightly* “How much of this did you need, miss?”

Me: “Three yards please, ma’am.” *glancing around at all the other customers* “Where’s your help? They had to know it’d be busy today with the sale and all.”

Employee: *as she cuts* “Well, there’s supposed to be another girl here but she called about ten minutes ago and said she has a flat so I don’t know when she’ll be in.” *tags and passes over my fabric* “Here you go. Just let me know when you’re ready to check out, okay?”

Me: *nods* “Sure. I just remembered something else I needed.”

(I pick up the thread I needed then wander about the store a bit looking at the sale items near the register. Two older women walk up to the register and just stand there for about ten minutes.)

Customer #1: *wrinkles her nose* “The service here is awful.”

Customer #2: *purses her lips* “It is. I knew we should have gone to [Store’s other location] instead.”

(The two customers toss their large amounts of fabric and notions on the counter then flounce out the door. I walk back to the cutting table where the employee has just finished up with another customer.)

Employee: “Are you ready to check out yet, hon?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, and I thought I’d let you know those two women left all their stuff at the register. Sorry.”

(We return to the register and she puts the fabrics and notions aside.)

Employee: “Now those will go in the remnants.” *sighs* “I told them to tell me when they were ready and I’d come up here!”

Me: *rolls eyes* “I guess they thought they were too good to come to you.”

(She rings up items with a smile.)

Employee: “Your total is $38.57.”

Me: *stares at her in disbelief* “That can’t be—”

Employee: *suddenly sounding nervous* “But the fabric was on sale for $12 a yard—”

Me: *cutting her off as I cover my face with one hand* “And the pattern was on sale for $1. The rest is taxes and the thread.” *grins sheepishly* “I thought it should be MORE! I forgot that the pattern was on sale!”

Employee: “Oh!” *looks visibly relieved then scans something near her register* “Since you’re so nice and waited so patiently, I’m giving you the 10% student discount! Your new total is $34.71!”

Me: “You don’t have to do that! I really did think it should have been more! I wasn’t trying for a discount!”

Employee: *smiling* “I know but you could have just left like those others did. So, cash or card, miss?”

(This is my new favorite location because she is always so sweet!)

His Parent’s Can’t Have Been Very Square

| Australia | Funny Names

(Our store has a pretty standard loyalty program where customers present their loyalty card and are eligible for various discounts. One day, a young man in his 20s with unkempt hair and several piercings came asked me to cut his fabric.)

Me: “And do you have a loyalty card?”

Customer: “Yeah, but I don’t have it on me. Can you look me up in the system?”

Me: “Sure! What was the last name on the card?”

Customer: “‘M-Squared.’ All one word.”

Me: “Umm… Okay, sure. And what was the first name?”

Customer: “Oh, that is my first name. I don’t have a last name.”

Me: “…Okay, let me search for you.”

(Remarkably enough, there was an ‘msquared’ in the system!)

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