October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

Best Not To Exchange With Haters

| Denver, CO, USA | Awesome Workers, Bigotry, Top

(I’m a manager. I am ringing up a woman I have sold things to before. We are making small talk as I ring her up. Note: I’m a lesbian.)

Customer: “I can’t believe the president came out in support for gay marriage!”

Me: “I know; kind of unbelievable!”

Customer: “That f** lover is going to burn in hell for that!”

Me: *biting my tongue* “Okay.”

(I finish ringing her up and hand the customer her bags.)

Customer: “They should round up all the gays and put them down.”

Me: “That would be bad for me, seeing as I am a lesbian.”

(The woman turns pale and walks out without saying a word. A few hours later, I get a call from the manager of another one of our stores. On the line, I can hear the same customer I previously sold items to ranting.)

Manager: *also a woman* “So, this woman is here wanting to exchange a bunch of stuff from your store. When I asked her what was wrong with the items, she said you tainted them; I have no idea what she is talking about. Could you maybe clear this up for me?”

Me: “Well, I bet it is because she found out I was gay.”

Manager: “I see.” *starts talking in sultry voice* “Well, I’ll see you tonight for our date. You should put on that that black lace bra and panty set I got you for your birthday! I love you!” *hangs up*

(I am very confused, seeing as I have never dated that manager, nor did she ever get me underwear, and as far as I know, she is not gay. Fast forward a few days later to the manager weekly conference call: apparently, the customer left the other store after thinking the other manager was also gay. That manager then called every other store in the area and told everyone about the customer. Over the next few days, the customer went to every store in a 20 mile radius trying to exchange the ‘tainted goods’. Everyone she talked to pretended to be gay when working with her and she left every time. To my knowledge, she never got her exchange.)

Gamers Have To Band Together

| NJ, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Geeks Rule, Musical Mayhem, Top

(A demo for Rock Band has been set up at the electronics store I work at. I hang around the game section to answer questions and help out. I see two kids, about 8 or 9, who are playing the guitars on easy, while a very pregnant lady is playing drums. I assume they’re all together until another woman storms up.)

Woman: *to the boys* “I told you not to play these games! They’re bad for you!” *turns to the pregnant lady* “You’re setting a bad example! Don’t you know how horrible video games are for kids?! Your poor child!”

Pregnant Lady: *smiling, but not stopping* “Actually, music proficiency is linked to having advantages in math and study skills and video games, and when used correctly can instill time management and problem solving skills.” *does a difficult drum riff* “If my ‘poor child’ does half as well as his gamer parents, he’ll have at least two degrees, and a successful medical career.”

(The pregnant lady finishes the song, scores 90% on expert, and gets up. She smiles and leaves the demo. I held up my fist on the way out and she fist-bumped me. The other woman couldn’t pull her two kids away fast enough.)

Too Much Information For Too Little Intelligence

| Canada | Extra Stupid, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

Customer: “I saw a paper shredder on your website saying it’s 50 bucks off for your Black Friday sale. Is that true?”

Me: “Probably… let’s check the flyer.”

(I look, but can’t see it in the flyer anywhere.)

Me: “Was it possibly an online-only sale that you saw?”

Customer: “No, it said online and in store, Friday only!”

Me: “Okay, let me check the website, then. I don’t see it in the flyer for some reason.”

(I look it up and see that it is in fact advertised on our website, from Friday-Tuesday.)

Me: “I’m not sure why it wasn’t in our flyer, but yes, there is a paper shredder for 50 dollars off for the Black Friday sale. The sale starts on Friday, but for this item, it will still be on sale until Tuesday. I would still come in on Friday though, just in case, because they might sell out on the first day.”

Customer: “Ugh! Is it on sale on Friday, or not!?”

Me: “Umm, yes. It goes on sale on Friday and stays on sale until Tuesday.”

Customer: “So, it’s on sale on Friday?”

Me: “…Yes.”

Does Not Com-Poo-te

| TX, USA | Technology

(I work at a computer repair store.)

Me: “Hello, sir. How can I help you today?”

Customer: “Yeah, my laptop won’t turn on.”

Me: “Okay, let me check it out for a few minutes and see if I can’t figure out what’s going on.”

(I proceed to run my typical quick diagnostics when a computer won’t turn on. I try a different AC adapter, hold down the power for 30 seconds, etc. but nothing seems to work.)

Me: “Well, sir, it looks like it’s still not wanting to work, but I can send it out for a fee. What happened to it?”

Customer: “Well, my toilet exploded on it.”

Me: “…Excuse me… what?”

Customer: “Yeah, my toilet exploded on it.”

Me: “Yeah, unfortunately we can’t fix that, but we have a bunch of new laptops you can look at.”

(I then proceeded to scrub myself all the way up to my elbows in the bathroom, appalled that he didn’t tell me that until AFTER I had handled it!)

Apps Never Have An Off Day

| HI, USA | Technology

(I am helping a customer become familiar with his new product by showing him how to turn it on and off.)

Me: “If you press and hold the button on the top right hand corner of the device, you’ll see an icon on the screen that you can slide to turn it off.”

Customer: “Oh. I thought they would have an app for that.”

Me: “What do you mean?”

Customer: “They have apps for everything else, so why not for turning it off? That seems silly.”

Me: “Well, how would you turn it back on if it’s off and you can’t use the screen to get apps?”

Customer: “Oh… well, I thought it was clever!”

Page 8/24First...678910...Last