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    Your Weekend Makes My Grief Extend

    | Nanaimo, BC, Canada | Bizarre

    Customer: “So, how are you spending your long weekend?”

    Me: “I’m working here.”

    Customer: “Why would you be here?”

    Me: *confused* “Because I’m working?”

    Customer: “But why?”

    Me: “Um, because I’m scheduled to work.”

    Customer: “That doesn’t make any sense!” *walks away*

    At Least She Brought Windows Cleaner

    | Oslo, Norway | Bizarre, Health & Body, Technology

    (A customer has just bought a cellphone. She wants me to show her how to insert the SIM card. I open the cover on the phone and reach for the SIM card when she shouts, startling me.)

    Customer: “No! Don’t touch it!”

    Me: “But I have to put the SIM card in—”

    Customer: “No! You can’t touch it!”

    Me: “I have to touch it to insert the SIM Card into the cellphone.”

    Customer: “But I don’t want you to touch it! It will get viruses on it! I’ve heard it can happen! Just show me how to do it, and I’ll do it myself!”

    Me: “Ma’am, the viruses you’ve heard about are digital programs, and can not be transmitted from a person touching the SIM card. But if you absolutely don’t want me touching it, you may insert the SIM card yourself.”

    Customer: “I don’t want viruses in my cellphone! I’ll do it myself, thank you.”

    (At this point the customer takes out a bottle of window cleaner spray and towel, sprays it on her hands, and dries them off. Then, she very carefully grabs the SIM card on the edges and slides it inside the cellphone.)

    Customer: “See?! No viruses!”

    Me: “Well done, ma’am. Have a nice day.”

    Questionable Questioning, Part 2

    | Ontario, Canada |

    Customer: “Can I ask a question?”

    Me: “Sure.”

    Customer: “Camera. Wrist strap.”

    Me: “…I’m sorry?”

    Customer: “Camera. Wrist strap.”

    Me: *trying to guess* “Um, do cameras come with wrist straps?”

    Customer: “No! Do you sell them separately?!”

    Related:
    Questionable Questioning

    Take Back That Rollback

    | UK | Crazy Requests

    (It’s promotion changeover day, so I’m making my way around the store removing all of the old price tickets that need to be changed and replacing them with new ones. Some of them have lower prices on.)

    Customer: “How dare you?!”

    Me: “Sorry?”

    Customer: “How dare you lower these prices? You’re taking money away from this business! Get me your manager, please!”

    Listening Is Believing

    | Michigan, USA | Technology

    (At the store where I work, we have a rewards program. If customers spend a certain amount of money, they get to go online and print off a coupon that takes money off of their order. One day, I am working the register and this happens.)

    Caller: “I can’t print off this coupon. It won’t let me log on to my account!”

    Me: “Do you have the right email/password?”

    Caller: “I do. This is the password to my email address!”

    Me: “It’s different than your email’s password. This is a completely different site, and is different than checking your email.”

    Caller: “It won’t work! Make it work! This is so stupid! Fix it!”

    Me: “Does it give you an option to change your password?”

    Caller: “No! Make it work!”

    Me: “Try changing your password—”

    Caller: “That won’t work! I know the password to my email address!”

    Me: “If you change it, you should be able to get in.”

    Caller: “This is ridiculous!”

    (She finally agrees to try and change password, and clicks the link.)

    Caller: “Oh! That worked…”

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