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  • His Attitude Speaks Volumes
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    Apps Never Have An Off Day

    | HI, USA | Technology

    (I am helping a customer become familiar with his new product by showing him how to turn it on and off.)

    Me: “If you press and hold the button on the top right hand corner of the device, you’ll see an icon on the screen that you can slide to turn it off.”

    Customer: “Oh. I thought they would have an app for that.”

    Me: “What do you mean?”

    Customer: “They have apps for everything else, so why not for turning it off? That seems silly.”

    Me: “Well, how would you turn it back on if it’s off and you can’t use the screen to get apps?”

    Customer: “Oh… well, I thought it was clever!”

    Burn The Other Cheek

    | Valley Stream, NY, USA | Religion, Wild & Unruly

    Me: “Good morning, sir. Would you like to purchase our protection plan on this?”

    Customer #1: *very thick Jamaican accent* “Nah, your coworker explained that. I don’t want it.”

    Me: “Alright, sir.”

    (I proceed to remove the anti-theft device and scan the GPS.)

    Customer #1: “Does this…”

    (The rest of the question is so garbled by his accent that I can not make it out.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir… could you repeat that?”

    (My coworker, who by chance is also from Jamaica, jumps in and answers the customer’s question. After about 30 seconds of discussion between the two, it’s clear the customer still has some unresolved questions, and since I am the only register open a line has been forming. I interrupt their conversation briefly.)

    Me: “Excuse me, I’m just going to suspend this transaction so I can take the next customer. As soon as you’re ready, I’ll finish up for you.”

    Customer #1: “Okay.” *continues asking my coworker questions*

    Me: *calling out* “Next, please!”

    Customer #1: “YOU BIGOT!”

    (Suddenly, Customer #1 throws the GPS at me, hard enough to crack the plastic clamshell case it’s in and giving me a small cut on my arm. He then storms out of the store. My coworker and I look at each other, confused, as the next customer, Customer #2, walks up to my register. Customer #2 is a middle-aged woman with a similar Jamaican accent. She is wearing a church t-shirt.)

    Customer #2: “That man was so rude to you for no reason.”

    Me: “Thank you, ma’am. I really have no idea why he called me a bigot.”

    Customer #2: “A good Christian should be kind. People like that should just die and rot in H***!”

    Wireless, Clueless & Hopeless, Part 9

    | Charlotte, NC, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

    Me: “Thank you for calling [store name and location]. How may I help you?”

    Customer: “Yes, I was wondering what time you closed? I need to bring in my computer monitor and exchange it for a new one.”

    Me: “We close at nine. If you don’t mind my asking, why do you need to exchange yours, ma’am? I may be able to help and save you the trip.”

    Customer: “Well, I saw that you all sold those wireless monitors and was going to get one but they’re so expensive. So I just decided to make mine a wireless one instead. But I guess I must have done it wrong because now it won’t work.”

    Me: “You… tried to make your monitor into a wireless one? How?”

    Customer: “Oh, I just cut the cord that was dangling out of it. Like I said, I must have cut it wrong though. So I need a new one.”

    Me: “I… see. Well, um, ma’am, I’m sorry to tell you this, but, well, I can’t just give you a new monitor because you destroyed your old one.”

    Customer: “Really? Well. We’ll just see about that, won’t we? I’m going to come in and speak to your manager. Then we’ll see who does what for whom!”

    (She came in with her self-destroyed monitor, and no, she didn’t get a new one!)

    Related:
    Wireless, Clueless & Hopeless, Part 8
    Wireless, Clueless & Hopeless, Part 7
    Wireless, Clueless & Hopeless, Part 6
    Wireless, Clueless & Hopeless, Part 5
    Wireless, Clueless & Hopeless, Part 4
    Wireless, Clueless & Hopeless, Part 3
    Wireless, Clueless & Hopeless, Part 2
    Wireless, Clueless & Hopeless

    Obviously Infected With Selective Hearingitis

    | Arizona, USA | Language & Words, Technology

    (On an unusually busy day during the slow summer sales period, a customer comes into our department and begins talking to a coworker of mine.)

    Customer: “Hey there! I’m looking for this anti-virus program that my friend told me about. I don’t remember the name, but I know it starts with a ‘k’. Oh, and it sounds Russian! I know I would remember it if I heard i or saw the box!”

    Coworker: “Oh! You must mean Kaspersky! I know it quite well, because it is the only anti-virus that I have used for the last three years.”

    Customer: “No! No, that is definitely not it! You must not know what you’re talking about. I’ll just go find it myself.”

    (I happen to be standing right next to a section nearby that houses only Kaspersky products. The customer looked around a little, and then came up to me.)

    Customer: “Hey there, I talked to one of your friends over there before, and she obviously didn’t know what she was talking about. Ha!”

    (He then repeats the same thing he said to my coworker.)

    Me: “Oh, do you mean Kaspersky?”

    Customer: “Yes! That’s the one! That other girl obviously didn’t have a clue!”

    Related:
    A Nasty Case Of Selective Hearingitis

    Your Weekend Makes My Grief Extend

    | Nanaimo, BC, Canada | Bizarre

    Customer: “So, how are you spending your long weekend?”

    Me: “I’m working here.”

    Customer: “Why would you be here?”

    Me: *confused* “Because I’m working?”

    Customer: “But why?”

    Me: “Um, because I’m scheduled to work.”

    Customer: “That doesn’t make any sense!” *walks away*


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