November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Managed To Serve Them With No Charge

| Hilleroed, Denmark | Extra Stupid, Technology

(I work at the service desk at a local electronics store. A customer walks up to the desk and lays his cellphone, complete with box, on the table.)

Customer: “There’s a problem with this phone. I bought it yesterday and started charging it as soon as I got home.”

Me: “Yes?”

Customer: “Even after about four hours of charging, the phone still can’t switch on.”

(I quickly grab the phone, plug in the charger and, sure enough, nothing happens. I remove the back of the phone and a light dawns on me. I open the box, grab the battery, place it in the phone and hands everything to the customer.)

Me: “There you go. It should work now.”

Customer: “Oh… uhm… Promise me you won’t tell anyone.”

Me: “I honestly can’t promise that. You just made my entire week.”

He’s Furbious

| Glasgow, Scotland, UK | Holidays, Spouses & Partners, Theme Of The Month, Wild & Unruly

(I am working the register in the store where we sell electronics including toys, like Furbies, robot dogs, etc. A scruffy-looking customer comes in, followed moments later by twenty-something woman and her boyfriend. The couple begin looking at tablets, when the woman spots our Furbies.)

Woman: “Oh look, Furbies. They’re so cute! These must be new ones. They have digital eyes! They’re smaller than mine, too. Hey, Furby!”

(She starts to have a silly conversation with the Furby. Her genuine excitement is pretty adorable. I exchange an appreciative smile with her boyfriend as she chatters away. Suddenly, the scruffy customer storms over to them and grabs the Furby, throwing it hard to the ground. I come running.)

Boyfriend: “What the h*** are you doing?!”

Me: “Excuse me. If that Furby is broken, I’ll need you to pay for the damage. Now, please back off.”

Scruffy Customer: *aiming abuse at the woman* “F*** the lot of you! She was doing my head in. The stupid little b**** is acting like a kid. Are you special?! Did you get out early from your special school, *****? People like you f*** off! I f****** hate people like you when I’m trying to f****** buy stuff!”

(The woman is clearly speechless and her eyes are watering. Her boyfriend is livid and yells at the guy. I quickly pick up the Furby to check it’s not broken. The guy starts flailing his arms and tells the boyfriend that he’s going to ‘do him in.’)

Me: “Get out now, mate. You’ve threatened violence to my customers, and us three are witnesses. I’ll call the police right now. Leave.”

Scruffy Customer: “Aye. Well, **** you too you, cow. Both you f***s!”

(The boyfriend suddenly grabs the scruffy customer by the collar and turfs him out of the shop. The scruffy customer clearly gets a fright at the boyfriend’s strength and runs for it, cursing all the way down the street.)

Me: “I’m so sorry about that guy. What a moron. Are you guys okay?”

(The woman nods, crying a little, and her boyfriend cuddles her.)

Boyfriend: “I couldn’t take any more of that. She has Asperger’s, and sometimes can seem a bit childish to people who don’t know her. Thanks for trying to help.”

Me: “Ah. No problem. I hate seeing anyone get hassled by an idiot like him. Hey, I’m going to log this Furby as being smashed by a customer. I’d have to bin it, so you can just take it if you want.”

Woman: “Oh, no. That’s okay. I don’t want you to get in trouble. There are security cameras in here and you could get into bother for being seen doing that.”

Me: “Nah. My boss is more like a mate. He’d understand if it came up. Trust me. Here. It sounds like you struck a bond with it, anyway!”

(We all laugh and chat for a little while longer before they leave with their new Furby. Two days later I came in to work to find a Christmas card had been left for me, by them, as well as a £15 gift card with a note saying my lunch was on them for being so nice!)

Free Lager For Free Labor

| UK | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Technology

(I’ve just fixed a customer’s laptop which had an issue outputting to a monitor. I decide not to charge him, as the problem is minor and the fix didn’t take very long.)

Customer: “Thanks a lot for that. I appreciate it. Wait here a sec.”

(The customer leaves the store and I continue serving customers. Half an hour later, he returns.)

Customer: “Here you go, mate. Hope you drink lager!”

(He puts a case of beer down on my counter and begins walking out.)

Me: “Whaa… are you serious? What’s this for?”

Customer: “For fixing my laptop!”

Me: “I… I really appreciate it, but you didn’t need to—”

Customer: “You fixed my problem quickly and with a smile. I’m not the best with technology but you were very patient with me, which is more than I can say about the staff over at [Competitor]. So enjoy that, and I’ll definitely be shopping here again!”

(That guy made my shift!)

Lost In Their Own Translation

| Belgium | Bigotry, Language & Words, Top

(My husband and I are from America. We move overseas to Belgium for his job, and make every effort to learn the native language. I am shopping for a computer part, but am tripping over the technical terms. The clerk mercifully switches over to English for my benefit. As he is helping me, a few native men queue up behind me and overhear us.)

Customer #1: *in French* “Such a typical American; expecting everyone to cater to them and their stupid language.”

Customer #2: *in French* “Can’t blame her. This b**** looks too stupid to learn French.”

Me: *in French* “Looks can be deceiving, gentlemen.”

(The customer turns red and quickly wanders off. The clerk is laughing so hard, he has to sit down.)


| Australia | Health & Body, Religion, Technology

Customer: “I want to return this phone; it won’t turn on.”

(I turn on the phone, and it works perfectly.)

Me: “Hmm, seems to be turning on just fine.”

Customer: “I’ve been doing that all yesterday, and it didn’t work! You must have magic hands or something.”

Me: “That’s the only explanation I can think of. I should use my powers for good and go out and use my magic touch to heal things like leprosy.”

Lady: *in all seriousness* “Oh no, I don’t have that.”