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    Refund Isn’t In The (Memory) Cards

    | FL, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology, Top

    (A customer comes in trying to return a camera with no receipt. After I tell her I will not be doing the refund, she demands a manager.)

    Manager: “What seems to be the problem?”

    Customer: “Your store ruined my daughter’s graduation! This camera that your employees sold me wouldn’t work! I couldn’t take any pictures!”

    Manager: “I’m sorry, but without a receipt we can’t refund this.”

    Customer: “You are going to refund this! And the memory card too!”

    Me: “Okay, tell you what: why don’t I just try to fix your camera for you? Then we’ll go from there.”

    (The customer scoffs and shoves her camera at me.)

    Customer: “Yeah, sure, go ahead and try. I’m telling you, you sold me a defective camera.”

    (I turn the camera on. It works fine. I try to take a picture; it says it doesn’t have enough memory. I open the battery compartment to inspect the card and immediately see the problem.)

    Me: “This isn’t a memory card.”

    Customer: “Excuse me?! Your employees picked this card and sold it to me!”

    Me: “This is an adapter, which is fine. The memory card needs to be inside of the adapter as well. Do you have something that looks like it would fit in this?”

    Customer: “Oh, that little thing? I threw that away.”

    (She grabs her camera and slinks away.)

    Not Dropping The Charges

    | Montreal, QC, Canada | At The Checkout, Liars & Scammers

    (A customer comes in to return a totally shattered phone.)

    Customer: “It’s really cold outside and I was using it and pop!”

    Me: “This looks like it was dropped.”

    Customer: “I didn’t drop it; it just cracked!”

    Me: “That’s not possible.”

    Customer: “I want to see your manager.”

    Me: “That won’t be necessary.”

    Customer: “Excuse me?”

    Me: “That won’t be necessary. Just like me, he is not going to want his intelligence questioned by someone who claims he just saw the laws of physics being broken, at the hands of an irresponsible user.”

    Customer: “…fine. I might have dropped it on the ice.”

    Me: “Now we’re getting somewhere.”

    David Vs. On-The-Warpath

    | Canada | Bad Behavior, Top

    (I’m helping a very nice woman with her cellphone. Suddenly, a man built like a bodybuilder comes rushing into the store, his arms full of documents.)

    Me: *to the man* “I’ll be with you in just a few minutes.”

    (Instead of waiting, the man pushes the woman out of the way to get to me.)

    Customer: “Hey, I need to use one of your computers. Can you log me in?” *gestures towards a setup of demo laptops*

    Me: “Uh, for what, exactly?”

    Customer: “I need to do some online banking quickly. Just f***ing unlock one of those computers already.”

    Me: “Look, I can’t let you do that. Those machines get sold, and if somebody gets your bank info off of a machine I sell them, I’m liable. More so, your attitude isn’t very respectful, sir.”

    Customer: “I don’t f***ing care if people steal my bank info! I just need to get this s*** done. Now, let me on!”

    Me: “No. There’s a public library open further down the street, but I refuse to allow you onto our machines, not just for liability reasons, but for how you’re treating me.”

    Customer: “Well, f*** you then!”

    Me: “You can leave my store, or I can call the police on you. Your choice.”

    (The man walks out of the store raging, and the woman I am helping before just looks at me shocked.)

    Woman: “I am amazed you talked to him like that. He looked like he could have snapped you in half!”

    Me: “At some point, you just get tired of some people. Let’s finish you up here.”

    (Later that week, I got a commendation from Head Office, star service award. I was nominated by the woman I served that night.)

    Getting Out Of A Scrape

    | Cuyahoga Falls, OH, USA | Liars & Scammers, Technology, Wild & Unruly

    (I work for a well-known electronics store chain that has their own repair section for electronics. A high school-aged customer brings in her laptop to be checked out.)

    Customer: “I have no idea what’s wrong! It just won’t do anything.”

    (My coworker takes her laptop and runs a virus scan.)

    Coworker: “You have quite a few viruses. It’ll be [price] to remove them.”

    Customer: “Oh, but I have a warranty! Those are covered, right?”

    Coworker: “Unfortunately, the plan you have only covers accidental physical damage.”

    Customer: “Who the f*** do you guys think you are? You’re nothing! You have to fix this!”

    Coworker: “Unfortunately, we can’t unless you pay.”

    (The customer grabs the laptop and leaves the store. It’s a slow day, so we’re joking around near the front doors when we see the girl open her laptop, place it on the asphalt, step and scrape it into the ground, before picking it back up and bringing it back in.)

    Customer: “While I was walking to the car, I accidentally dropped it!”

    Me: “You know, we saw you scraping it up outside, right? You did it right in front of the window.”

    Customer: “NO, IT WAS ACCIDENTAL DAMAGE! YOU CAN’T PROVE THAT I DID THIS!”

    Coworker: “We can always go get the security footage.”

    (The customer made a huge fuss, so our manager agreed to take and send the laptop to the service center. Big surprise: it got sent back unrepaired because it wasn’t accidental damage.)

    A Tale Of Faulty Thieves

    | ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Top

    (A family, wife, husband and teenage daughter, bring items to my till, and I start to scan them.)

    Father: “We’re not done yet!”

    Me: “Oh…”

    (They leave their items at my counter and continue to look around. Any time they see something they want, they bring it to my counter and then leave again. It is not busy, so I just scan and bag the items as they drop them off. They finally come with the last item, totaling their bill to over $200.)

    Father: “Is everything done?”

    Me: “Well, it’s not paid for.”

    Father: “I know that! Is it all scanned!?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Father: *to his wife and daughter* “Okay, you guys can take this stuff out to the car then.”

    Me: “Oh, actually, you have to pay first before you leave the store with the items.”

    Father: “EXCUSE ME!?”

    Me: “You can’t leave the store with unpaid merchandise.”

    Father: “You calling me a thief!?”

    Me: “No, I’m just telling you that you have to pay first.”

    Father: “I don’t have to pay before I take your items! I’m a customer!” *to his daughter* “Take the stuff to the car!”

    Me: “Please don’t.”

    (The daughter is now confused and throws her arms up in the air in frustration.)

    Father: “Don’t you tell my daughter what to do!”

    Me: “Um, she can’t leave the store without unpaid merchandise.”

    Father: “You think my card is going to decline!?”

    Me: “I don’t know, but you still have to pay first.”

    (The father rams his card into the machine and stomps his fingers on the keypad. It declines.)

    Me: “It didn’t go through.”

    Father: “This is ridiculous!” *he rams his card up the machine again*

    Me: “You have to wait until the machine is ready.”

    (He rips his card out of the machine and then rams it up the machine again, and hits the buttons extremely hard. It approves and he starts to storm off without his receipt. Then he comes storming back and rips the receipt out of my hand and points to me.)

    Father: “YOU WERE CALLING ME A THIEF!”

    Me: “No, I wasn’t. No one lets customers leave a store with unpaid merchandise!”

    Father: “I am a paying customer! You should be fired for accusing me of stealing! This is the worst customer service I have ever had!” *storms off again*


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