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    Kicking Off Over A Kicking Off

    | FL, USA | At The Checkout, Money, Wild & Unruly

    (I am cashing out a couple who is buying a laptop and some anti-virus software. We have a deal; if you purchase a computer, your anti-virus will be free for six months or $20 for one year. One of the store managers is coaching me.)

    Me: “So, would you like six months of free anti-virus or one year for $20?”

    Customer: “The guy back there told us it was $17!”

    Manager: “No, it is actually $20.”

    Customer: “SO HE LIED?!”

    Manager: “Seems like he did.”

    Customer: “I’M GOING TO GO BACK THERE AND KICK HIS A**!”

    Manager: “Go ahead.”

    (The customer, her husband, and I are all taken aback.)

    Customer: “…Really?”

    Manager: “Actually, let me go get him.”

    (My manager leaves my register, and heads to our computer department. The customer’s wife is now laughing while the husband starts to sweat.)

    Customer: “Is he coming back? I was just joking! I still want the one year. I’m sorry! I was just joking!”

    (The couple quickly pays and leaves before the manager comes back to my register.)

    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 17

    | Reston, VA, USA | At The Checkout, Money, Technology

    Customer: “Excuse me, I’d like to get a refund for an item I purchased from your online store.”

    Me: “Sure, I can help with that. Just let me see the item so I can pull it up in our system.”

    Customer: “Well, the item hasn’t arrived yet. It’s still being delivered.”

    Me: “Oh, we won’t be able to issue a refund unless you actually give us something to refund. When the item arrives, bring it back here and we can give you your money back, no problem!”

    Customer: “I can’t believe you won’t give me a freaking refund! This is unacceptable! I bought the item, and you d*** well better give me my money back!”

    Me: “Sir, I understand that you’d like to get your money refunded. Without giving us your item back, it’s like we’re just giving it to you. We can’t give you the money today, only to have you return here a few days later to give us the item back!”

    Customer: “Well, why would I need to return here? I would have already gotten my money back by then!”

    Related:
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 16
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 15
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 14
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 13
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 12

    Refund Isn’t In The (Memory) Cards

    | FL, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology, Top

    (A customer comes in trying to return a camera with no receipt. After I tell her I will not be doing the refund, she demands a manager.)

    Manager: “What seems to be the problem?”

    Customer: “Your store ruined my daughter’s graduation! This camera that your employees sold me wouldn’t work! I couldn’t take any pictures!”

    Manager: “I’m sorry, but without a receipt we can’t refund this.”

    Customer: “You are going to refund this! And the memory card too!”

    Me: “Okay, tell you what: why don’t I just try to fix your camera for you? Then we’ll go from there.”

    (The customer scoffs and shoves her camera at me.)

    Customer: “Yeah, sure, go ahead and try. I’m telling you, you sold me a defective camera.”

    (I turn the camera on. It works fine. I try to take a picture; it says it doesn’t have enough memory. I open the battery compartment to inspect the card and immediately see the problem.)

    Me: “This isn’t a memory card.”

    Customer: “Excuse me?! Your employees picked this card and sold it to me!”

    Me: “This is an adapter, which is fine. The memory card needs to be inside of the adapter as well. Do you have something that looks like it would fit in this?”

    Customer: “Oh, that little thing? I threw that away.”

    (She grabs her camera and slinks away.)

    Not Dropping The Charges

    | Montreal, QC, Canada | At The Checkout, Liars & Scammers

    (A customer comes in to return a totally shattered phone.)

    Customer: “It’s really cold outside and I was using it and pop!”

    Me: “This looks like it was dropped.”

    Customer: “I didn’t drop it; it just cracked!”

    Me: “That’s not possible.”

    Customer: “I want to see your manager.”

    Me: “That won’t be necessary.”

    Customer: “Excuse me?”

    Me: “That won’t be necessary. Just like me, he is not going to want his intelligence questioned by someone who claims he just saw the laws of physics being broken, at the hands of an irresponsible user.”

    Customer: “…fine. I might have dropped it on the ice.”

    Me: “Now we’re getting somewhere.”

    David Vs. On-The-Warpath

    | Canada | Bad Behavior, Top

    (I’m helping a very nice woman with her cellphone. Suddenly, a man built like a bodybuilder comes rushing into the store, his arms full of documents.)

    Me: *to the man* “I’ll be with you in just a few minutes.”

    (Instead of waiting, the man pushes the woman out of the way to get to me.)

    Customer: “Hey, I need to use one of your computers. Can you log me in?” *gestures towards a setup of demo laptops*

    Me: “Uh, for what, exactly?”

    Customer: “I need to do some online banking quickly. Just f***ing unlock one of those computers already.”

    Me: “Look, I can’t let you do that. Those machines get sold, and if somebody gets your bank info off of a machine I sell them, I’m liable. More so, your attitude isn’t very respectful, sir.”

    Customer: “I don’t f***ing care if people steal my bank info! I just need to get this s*** done. Now, let me on!”

    Me: “No. There’s a public library open further down the street, but I refuse to allow you onto our machines, not just for liability reasons, but for how you’re treating me.”

    Customer: “Well, f*** you then!”

    Me: “You can leave my store, or I can call the police on you. Your choice.”

    (The man walks out of the store raging, and the woman I am helping before just looks at me shocked.)

    Woman: “I am amazed you talked to him like that. He looked like he could have snapped you in half!”

    Me: “At some point, you just get tired of some people. Let’s finish you up here.”

    (Later that week, I got a commendation from Head Office, star service award. I was nominated by the woman I served that night.)

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