A Universal Idiot
A customer has spent a moment looking at our USB sticks, so I offer him some help.
Customer: “Which one of these memory sticks will fit my computer?”
This is during the height of USB 2.0, so no USB-C yet.
Me: “Well, they all will. The difference between them is essentially the memory capacity and data speed, but they’ll all fit. If you let me know what you need it for, you can—”
Customer: “Wait, they’ll all fit?”
Me: “If your computer has a USB slot, then yes.”
Customer: “They’ll all fit?”
Me: “Yes, they’re universal. That’s what the U in ‘USB’ stands for.”
Customer: “How do you know they’ll fit?”
Me: “They’re universal.”
Customer: “But how do you know?”
Me: “Sir, do you know what ‘universal’ means?”
Customer: “Hmm, fine. But I want a refund if it doesn’t work!”
The customer chooses an affordable option but is back later that day, angry, but with his laptop this time.
Customer: *Pointing* “I told you it wouldn’t fit! I tried to jam this into my memory card slot, and it didn’t fit!”
Me: “You mean the SD card slot?”
Customer: “Whatever you call it!”
I take the laptop, turn it around, and put the USB stick easily into one of the several USB ports on the back of the laptop. The customer is silent for a moment.
Customer: “Well, no one told me to look at the back!”
He stormed off, while I was left to contend with my first experience proving that no matter how idiot-proof you make something, the universe makes a better idiot.
