Featured Story:
  • Always Time For A Rhyme
    (2,241 thumbs up)
  • Golly Gee, I’m So Smrt

    , | Cleveland, OH, USA |

    Me: *notices woman walking into store* “How can I help you today?”

    Customer: “I see you have two DVDs for 10 dollars.”

    Me: “Actually ma’am, that sale ended yesterday.”

    Customer: “Well, I have to buy some for my son for Christmas, so maybe you can be a doll and ring them up for me for that price.”

    Me: “I’m sorry ma’am, I can’t do that.”

    Customer: “Why not?”

    Me: “Because that sale ended yesterday.”

    Customer: “What difference is it to you the price you sell these DVD’s at?!”

    Me: “My job…”

    Customer: “How about it I give you $5.00?”

    Me: “…sure.”

    (I go and ring up the two DVDs, and take the woman’s money. With the five dollars she gave me, this adds up to the normal retail price so she’s saved nothing.)

    Me: “Have a happy holiday, ma’am.”

    Customer: *winks at me*

    Dirty Minds

    , | Seattle, WA, USA | Top

    (Customer calls requesting a cable.)

    Customer: “Hi. I am trying to connect my iPod to my stereo.”

    Me: “Okay. Do you have a receiver, a small shelf system, or a boombox?”

    Customer: “It’s a smaller stereo.”

    Me: “Okay. Do you have a small plug that looks like a headphone plug that is labeled AUX, Audio IN, or anything of the sort?”

    Customer: “Yes, there is a small round plug that says AUX.”

    Me: “Okay, that’s easy. All you need is a 3.5mm male-to-male RCA cable.”

    Customer: “Male-to-male as in boy-to-boy.”

    Me, knowing what is coming next and not caring: “Yes, it is just referring to whether it is a plug or a receptor of a plug.”

    Customer: “Well, you are just disgusting!”

    Me: “Sorry ma’am, that is just an industry standard term.”

    Customer: “That is just one of the most disgusting things I have ever heard!”

    Me: “Sounds good.”

    Customer: *hangs up*

    Y, Will, Y Will, Rock U!

    , | Unknown Location |

    Me: “Thank you for calling ****, how may I help you?”

    Customer: “Hi, I wanna know if you have any Y’s (pronounced “why”) in stock?”

    Me: “Y’s? I don’t know what that is.”

    Customer: “The Y’s! You know, the Y’s!”

    Me: “You mean the Wii?”

    Customer: “Yea, whatever.”

    Because Everything On The Internets Is Private

    , | Stroudsburg, PA, USA | Top

    (On Black Friday…when EVERYTHING is on sale.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, sir?”

    Me: “Hey, can I help you find something?”

    Customer: “Hi, I’d like to know what’s on sale today.”

    Me: “Well, it depends on what system. You see, the DS only has three games on sale, while the XBOX has about 10. Not to mention, almost every console is running some sort of deal.”

    Customer: “No, I meant the secret sales.”

    Me: “What do you mean?”

    Customer: “The stuff in the catalog.”

    Me: “Oh, that’s all posted.”

    Customer, suddenly angry: “It better not be!”

    Me: “Why not?”

    Customer: “Because I looked online for those sales.”

    Me: “What’s your point?”

    Customer: “Because I wouldn’t have done that if I’d known it was public!”

    Me: “The point of a sale is to make it public.”

    Customer: “GET ME YOUR MANAGER YOU A**HOLE!”

    That’s Nothing A Little Duct Tape Can’t Fix

    , , | Unknown Location |

    Customer: “I want a computer where I can type in Russian and it will print in English.”

    Me: “Sir, I’m afraid we don’t have Russian keyboards.”

    Customer: “No, that’s fine. I’ll just tape Russian letters on.”

    Me: “Sir, it will still be an English keyboard.”

    Customer: “Okay, so what if I glue the letters on?”

    Me: *thunk thunk thunk* “Still English.”

    Page 21/22First...1819202122