October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

It’s Pr0ning LOLcats And Blogs

, | Ohio, USA | Uncategorized

(I was teaching a 60 year-old or so guy how to use the internet.)

Customer: “So… I can search for… ANYTHING?”

Me: “Anything.”

Customer: “And this will just find it for me?”

Me: “Yup.”

(We search for a baseball score, find it, and go back to Google. He clicks on the search bar again and “baseball scores” comes up.)

Customer: “Oh, it keeps a list?”

Me: “Yeah, so it’s easier to find the stuff you like next time.”

Customer: *disheartened* “Can I get rid of that? You know, like if I… you know… buy my wife a present or something and don’t want her to know about it?”

Me: “Yeah, just click on ‘Reset Safari’ and it will delete any evidence of what you searched.”

(The guy is clearly dumbfounded at the world of opportunities now available to him.)

Customer: “You just saved my marriage.”

(Enjoy your porn, Gary.)

Also seen on: Not Always Romantic.

Renamed: The iPod Please Touch The Frigging Screen

, | Toronto, Canada | Uncategorized

Customer: “Hello, I just bought this iPod, and I can’t make it go.”

Me: “What’s the problem?”

Customer: “It won’t go.”

Me: “Okay, how exactly?”

Customer: “IT WON’T GO.”

Me: “Can I see your iPod?”

(The customer takes out iPod Touch and shows it to me. I turn it on and open up Safari.)

Me: “It seems to be working fine.”

(I hand it back to her. She presses the home button multiple times.)

Customer: “How did you do that? It’s not working.”

Me: “Ma’am, what kind of iPod is that?”

Customer: “iPod Touch.”

Me: “Yeah… so try touching one of the icons on the screen.”

(She does.)


Me: “Yeah, well.”

Welcome To Retail

, | Houston, TX, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Hello this is Kevin.”

Customer: “YOU SON OF A B****, YOU SOLD ME A DEFECTIVE MONITOR! I never in my life have had to deal with such bull s*** in my life. I don’t know what type of f***ing black magic you did to make it work at the store, but–”

Me: “Ma’am, did you push the power button?

Customer: “… Oh, thank you.” *click*

Me: *sigh*

Supervisor: “Yo dude, what’s up?”

Me: “I need a raise…”

When Not In Rome…

, | Sacramento, CA, USA | Uncategorized

(A customer came in looking for a specific FM transmitter. I pointed him in the right direction and he came back five minutes later with the device in hand.)

Me: “Found it alright?”

Customer: “Yup. I came, I saw, I conquered.”

Me: “Veni, vidi, vici?”

Customer: “What the h*** did you just call me?!”

Fowl Play

, | New Orleans, LA, USA | Top

(A customer comes in to return a powerhorn. We’re often wary of these returns, as customers often put them under their car to increase their radio’s volume and blow them out within a day.)

Customer: “I don’t need this. I didn’t open it.”

Coworker: “Okay, let me take a look at it…”

(The packaging HAS been opened, but it still might not be a big deal. However, my coworker finds a chicken bone in the box.)

Coworker: “Ma’am, I think you left something in here.”

Customer: “Oh! That’s my lunch!”

Coworker: “You said you didn’t open it?”

Customer: “Yeah.”

Coworker: “But there’s a chicken bone in the box. And the wiring has been cut. And the unit is cracked.”

Customer: “It CAME like that.”

Coworker: “With a chicken bone in the box?!”

Customer: “YEAH!”

Fowl Behavior

Page 21/24First...1920212223...Last