Featured Story:
  • Got A Tip-Off About Grandpa’s Antics
    (2,315 thumbs up)
  • February Theme Of The Month: Hazardous Customers!
    Submit your story today!

    It’s Pr0ning LOLcats And Blogs

    , | Ohio, USA |

    (I was teaching a 60 year-old or so guy how to use the internet.)

    Customer: “So… I can search for… ANYTHING?”

    Me: “Anything.”

    Customer: “And this will just find it for me?”

    Me: “Yup.”

    (We search for a baseball score, find it, and go back to Google. He clicks on the search bar again and “baseball scores” comes up.)

    Customer: “Oh, it keeps a list?”

    Me: “Yeah, so it’s easier to find the stuff you like next time.”

    Customer: *disheartened* “Can I get rid of that? You know, like if I… you know… buy my wife a present or something and don’t want her to know about it?”

    Me: “Yeah, just click on ‘Reset Safari’ and it will delete any evidence of what you searched.”

    (The guy is clearly dumbfounded at the world of opportunities now available to him.)

    Customer: “You just saved my marriage.”

    (Enjoy your porn, Gary.)

    Also seen on: Not Always Romantic.

    Renamed: The iPod Please Touch The Frigging Screen

    , | Toronto, Canada |

    Customer: “Hello, I just bought this iPod, and I can’t make it go.”

    Me: “What’s the problem?”

    Customer: “It won’t go.”

    Me: “Okay, how exactly?”

    Customer: “IT WON’T GO.”

    Me: “Can I see your iPod?”

    (The customer takes out iPod Touch and shows it to me. I turn it on and open up Safari.)

    Me: “It seems to be working fine.”

    (I hand it back to her. She presses the home button multiple times.)

    Customer: “How did you do that? It’s not working.”

    Me: “Ma’am, what kind of iPod is that?”

    Customer: “iPod Touch.”

    Me: “Yeah… so try touching one of the icons on the screen.”

    (She does.)

    Customer: “OH MY GOD, THAT IS SO COOL! YOU’RE A GENIUS!”

    Me: “Yeah, well.”

    Welcome To Retail

    , | Houston, TX, USA |

    Me: “Hello this is Kevin.”

    Customer: “YOU SON OF A B****, YOU SOLD ME A DEFECTIVE MONITOR! I never in my life have had to deal with such bull s*** in my life. I don’t know what type of f***ing black magic you did to make it work at the store, but–”

    Me: “Ma’am, did you push the power button?

    Customer: “… Oh, thank you.” *click*

    Me: *sigh*

    Supervisor: “Yo dude, what’s up?”

    Me: “I need a raise…”

    When Not In Rome…

    , | Sacramento, CA, USA |

    (A customer came in looking for a specific FM transmitter. I pointed him in the right direction and he came back five minutes later with the device in hand.)

    Me: “Found it alright?”

    Customer: “Yup. I came, I saw, I conquered.”

    Me: “Veni, vidi, vici?”

    Customer: “What the h*** did you just call me?!”

    Fowl Play

    , | New Orleans, LA, USA | Top

    (A customer comes in to return a powerhorn. We’re often wary of these returns, as customers often put them under their car to increase their radio’s volume and blow them out within a day.)

    Customer: “I don’t need this. I didn’t open it.”

    Coworker: “Okay, let me take a look at it…”

    (The packaging HAS been opened, but it still might not be a big deal. However, my coworker finds a chicken bone in the box.)

    Coworker: “Ma’am, I think you left something in here.”

    Customer: “Oh! That’s my lunch!”

    Coworker: “You said you didn’t open it?”

    Customer: “Yeah.”

    Coworker: “But there’s a chicken bone in the box. And the wiring has been cut. And the unit is cracked.”

    Customer: “It CAME like that.”

    Coworker: “With a chicken bone in the box?!”

    Customer: “YEAH!”

    Related:
    Fowl Behavior

    Page 19/22First...1718192021...Last