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  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
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    Renamed: The iPod Please Touch The Frigging Screen

    , | Toronto, Canada |

    Customer: “Hello, I just bought this iPod, and I can’t make it go.”

    Me: “What’s the problem?”

    Customer: “It won’t go.”

    Me: “Okay, how exactly?”

    Customer: “IT WON’T GO.”

    Me: “Can I see your iPod?”

    (The customer takes out iPod Touch and shows it to me. I turn it on and open up Safari.)

    Me: “It seems to be working fine.”

    (I hand it back to her. She presses the home button multiple times.)

    Customer: “How did you do that? It’s not working.”

    Me: “Ma’am, what kind of iPod is that?”

    Customer: “iPod Touch.”

    Me: “Yeah… so try touching one of the icons on the screen.”

    (She does.)

    Customer: “OH MY GOD, THAT IS SO COOL! YOU’RE A GENIUS!”

    Me: “Yeah, well.”

    Welcome To Retail

    , | Houston, TX, USA |

    Me: “Hello this is Kevin.”

    Customer: “YOU SON OF A B****, YOU SOLD ME A DEFECTIVE MONITOR! I never in my life have had to deal with such bull s*** in my life. I don’t know what type of f***ing black magic you did to make it work at the store, but–”

    Me: “Ma’am, did you push the power button?

    Customer: “… Oh, thank you.” *click*

    Me: *sigh*

    Supervisor: “Yo dude, what’s up?”

    Me: “I need a raise…”

    When Not In Rome…

    , | Sacramento, CA, USA |

    (A customer came in looking for a specific FM transmitter. I pointed him in the right direction and he came back five minutes later with the device in hand.)

    Me: “Found it alright?”

    Customer: “Yup. I came, I saw, I conquered.”

    Me: “Veni, vidi, vici?”

    Customer: “What the h*** did you just call me?!”

    Fowl Play

    , | New Orleans, LA, USA | Top

    (A customer comes in to return a powerhorn. We’re often wary of these returns, as customers often put them under their car to increase their radio’s volume and blow them out within a day.)

    Customer: “I don’t need this. I didn’t open it.”

    Coworker: “Okay, let me take a look at it…”

    (The packaging HAS been opened, but it still might not be a big deal. However, my coworker finds a chicken bone in the box.)

    Coworker: “Ma’am, I think you left something in here.”

    Customer: “Oh! That’s my lunch!”

    Coworker: “You said you didn’t open it?”

    Customer: “Yeah.”

    Coworker: “But there’s a chicken bone in the box. And the wiring has been cut. And the unit is cracked.”

    Customer: “It CAME like that.”

    Coworker: “With a chicken bone in the box?!”

    Customer: “YEAH!”

    Related:
    Fowl Behavior

    Retail Defender, AntiCheapskate Edition

    , | Chicago, IL, USA | Awesome Customers, Top

    (I work in a large electronics retail chain. A guy asks me to find the latest version of Norton AntiVirus for him, which I do. He takes a look at the price and starts yelling about how outrageous it is ($100.00 US).)

    Guy: “What the h***? How can you people get away with this? This is a scam!”

    Me: “Sir, I can suggest another type of protection if this one is too expensive…”

    Guy: “No way! This is the one I want, but I’m not paying this.”

    Me: “Sir I–”

    Guy: “I bet I can find it online for much cheaper. Heck, even free! ”

    Me: “Sir, I think that–”

    Guy: “That’s what I’ll do… I’ll find it for free online! Better than this s***!”

    (A young woman nearby is listening and speaks up.)

    Woman: “Yeah, you can find it online, for free.”

    Guy: “Really, where? Tell me!”

    Woman: “L****party.org.” (Warning: This is a disturbing porn site that I would not recommend viewing.)

    Guy: “Thanks!” *turns back to me, smirking* “Ha, guess I won’t be spending any money on this s***!”

    Me, to the girl: “That… was awesome.”

    Woman: “Well, an a**hole like that deserves it. I figured that you couldn’t tell him that without getting fired.”

    (The young woman gets a free gift card; that guy never comes back. I still wonder what went through his mind when the site popped up.)


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